do you think before you type?
so, i’ve only been blogging for about 8 or 9 months. but, since floating around the www i’ve found myself in a few surprising situations. lesson learned -> “they” will probably read what we are typing.
examples?
1) my comments on the korean hostage situation were published by an international news reporter via the AP syndicated press.
2) we started a fan frenzy when i posted about our beloved kelly clarkson.
3) i participated in a group discussion regarding a certain worship resource, and our less-than-favorable comments were recently discovered by the editor of the magazine.
even though i felt comfortable with everything i conveyed, my comfort did not prevent that pervading moment of panic – that moment of “oh gosh – WHAT did i type??”
in short: ALWAYS remember that your words will LIKELY be read by someone connected with the situation….
so, do you think before you type?
ever been hit by that “oh gosh – what did i say” panic???
I am quite new at this blogging thing – my own blog since December. I have tried not to be critical and yet cautious with my words. I am 64 Mandy, have had a good life with a great variety of experiences and hope I can be a “papa” to many. My life has been fun, exciting, harsh at times, and many lessons learned.
people have expressed concerns to me about my blog. with me being the “head of a ministry”, even my personal thoughts and ramblings carry more weight than i sometimes wish they did. i’m always, always, always mindful of this… and yet some think i’ve still “crossed a line” in my blogging.
i think A LOT before i type.
Alece: what’s “the line” ?? what’s beneficial and what’s not beneficial to be posted by those of us in ministry??
I hear ya Mandy… I think WAY too much and over analyze my thoughts to the point that I end up not posting much that’s why I’m still hiding behind myspace and all the privacy options I can control. I’m not as brave as you all to be out there on the net posting thoughts for anyone to read. Plus it just drives me nuts all the lurkers that would be reading my blog… strangers and friends. AND since having a baby and the line of work Todd is in I’m even more protective of my family’s privacy. All that said, I love, love, love your blog… it’s been the jumping off point to many discussions between me and Todd.
Well, I haven’t quite had the experience of an AP reporter quoting my work–least not so far as I know–but I do try to be mindful of what I write. It has always been so, in my case. Because, as a novelist, I see words. And I see how others see them. And I see what an AP reporter trying to prove a point about a certain situation would see them. But when I am writing about personal matters–”Lost On The Green” or “My Place in the Field”–I don’t much care what others think; because that writing is for my benefit, not for others. And that is why I write anonymously. For instance, of all the people I’ve met online since I started blogging, only one person knows my first name. To everyone else, I am simply TheNorEaster. And I like it that way.
I’ve had a few significant links to some of work, most notably “A Dark & Stormy Night” and “Any Port In A Storm”, which is good. Because the more people who read those posts, the better.
As for what that “line” is, well…No one ever attained greatness by being cautious. It is risk that simultaneously entails the greatest punishment and the greatest reward, and if we are careful enough with own words, we can cross the line without actually crossing the line.
TheNor: thank you for that wisdom. i’m sure you are more aware than most of us, being a writer and all…. but i loved that you said No one ever attained greatness by being cautious. It is risk that simultaneously entails the greatest punishment and the greatest reward, and if we are careful enough with own words, we can cross the line without actually crossing the line.” i’m gonna chew on that for sure…. really. i’ve had to hold my breath a few times, and hit PUBLISH, then hold my breath waiting for the responses to follow… and i’m keenly aware of others who read this blog but don’t comment. i know there are a number of people from my “real life” who peek into this window of my world… but its ok with me. i wouldn’t put ANYTHING out there that i’d feel uncomfortable with others knowing.
we each have to gauge our “filters” in our own way.
Jordan: i was curious about your response to this…. wondering what you would think. i agree with you – having a kid and a husband in “that” line of work, brings added necessity for caution. yes. and amen… thank you for chiming in again!
Hey…I already responded to this post. Did you delete my comment? Seriously. Aren’t we past that? Dang.
MUAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!
JUST KIDDING. it wasn’t me. lets blame it on the stupid african internet – or that hurricane that blew through this morning!
I think that if you are writing in a way that is true to yourself- you should continue to express yourself freely, with the awareness (that you already seem to have) that words are powerful and eternal!
Amy: i try to have that awareness, but oftentimes forget that anyone ANYWHERE can read my thoughts over here. its good and healthy to be reminded…. often.
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TheNor: i cleaned up for you.
These blogs create a sense of freedom. I do most of my blooging in the early a.m. I’m talking 4:30 or 5, so my brain is sharp and rested. But I find myself so much more emotional and spiritual at that time. I ALWAYS AND ALWAYS go back and read and EDIT everything I write.
Sometimes I wonder if I do it too much. But hey it’s my blog I shouldn’t worry.
YES I have been in that situation more than once. Certain people I was sure would never get a glimpse of my blog have said “so I found your blog…” I smile and say “oh really?” while inside i’m going “OH CRAP, wasn’t there a post that would offend this person somewhere in there!??” Now granted, I do try to be vague when I write about things I get passionate over incase that does happen, but I’ve been caught deer-in-headlights once or twice wishing I’d just not have posted the blog at all. So far I don’t think it’s produced any enemies…
Mandy:
THANKS!!! Any chance you can clean up my novel?!?!?!
Ah ha ha ha!!!!
Mandy, I don’t think I have ever posted a comment, or submitted a report, where as soon as I hit “post” or “send” I didn’t immediately want to back. My brain works faster than my hands. So many times what I was thinking in my head sounded perfect. What I wrote with my hands was gibberish.
I can’t tell you how many times I thought I was saying, or doing something, romantic and my girlfriend just gave me that cold, hard stare. Where is that “Wayback” machine when we need it.
When we create a blog we need to decide why are we writing it. If we want to tell our story to the world than we need be honest and write what we feel. If we want to influence people then we do need to choose our words more carefully.
Accept that no matter what we talk about there is someone in cyber space how will be offended. The only way I can think of to avoid not offending anyone is to say nothing.
I’m horrible with this. As a pastor I should no better but it’s so easy when it’s just you behind a keyboard. It’s almost like you forget others are going to be reading.
Mandy,
Not only in blogging, but ANYTHING online.
Back in 2005-2006 – I had an e-business site, and one of the things I did was record “conference calls” from various e-business companies .. most of them were like “recruiting” type calls you’d hear for MLM/marketing type things.
One of those calls I recorded (keep in mind, I just recorded it and podcasted it as content … never spoke on it, and had permission to record) … well, some negative things were said about another company … this online business (it was one of these paid-to-surf sites) went out of biz, couldn’t pay their members, and accused their consulting firm of corporate sabotage, hacking, stealing, etc. Crazy news, eh?
Well, because I podcasted it, I was associated with it, and found myself served by Glynn County’s finest with a big stinkin’ lawsuit against my beloved company.
Nothing like being greeted by the cops and reading,
“Defendent – Highest Praise Productions, Inc”, for damages in excess of one million dollars”.
One million dollars.
Ever since then, I’ve been more careful what I podcast, what I blog, etc. Probably shouldn’t even RECOUNT that experience publicly – but, my big mouth (or fast fingers) do often get the best of me.
Fred
I am trying hard NOT to be careful!
I would be very careful to not bash anyone of course, but I find I have to keep checking myself not to try and clean myself up a bit because it is easier to do in print. Or make things a little more interesting than they actually were. I am trying to be as honest as I can be. It seems harder to check my motives in this format for some reason. Maybe I just need more practice. 
fred, how was it all resolved? wow.
Fred: HOLY COW. i had no idea…. whew.
Tawny: i really appreciate your comment… that you are trying NOT to clean yourself up in a dishonest way. yes. i totally understand & agree. its so tempting, isn’t it?!
i’ve got hit with that a few times…. new boyfriend followed link on my friends blog and found mine with comments about a former boyfriend (who was current bf at the time it had been written)…. that sort of thing.
i keep a fair amount of my venting posts private… but mostly i’m just prepared to have conversations if things ever come up with someone about it being my thoughts and feelings and perceptions, which sometime change frequently…. but were an honest reflection of where i was at the moment written.
(i’ve been traveling all day and it’s the first chance i’ve had to get back on)
i have no idea where the line is. i think that’s where some of my problems lie! wherever it is, i don’t feel i’ve come anywhere near it. but others have told me they think i’ve crossed it…
::shrug::
Blueraindrop: welcome! i’m checking out your blog. very interesting stuff… thanks for leaving a comment today.
Al: (YAY for traveling!!!) i’ve only been a reader of yours for a few months, but i don’t see the line anywhere near either…. i think there is value in honesty and vulnerability among christian leaders, but, with discretion of course. anyway, as one who’s been in leadership and will continue to be in leadership, i’d be interested in hearing more of “why” others think you’ve crossed it – what exactly you’ve written that gets close.
maybe we should continue this discussion via email etc…. ???
Definitely do a lot of thinking. I was actually okay with total strangers reading about my personal struggles, etc. but I completely freaked out when I learned someone I knew but had not spoken to in a while found my blog. As a former teacher I became concerned some certain events might be spoken of carelessly around students that may know me. SO. I made my blog regarding family, etc. private and started a new public blog to continue posting about more general things.
I’m all for being open and not overly cautious, but I also have a responsibility to my family’s safety. Sadly, we live in a world with some sick, sick people.
I agree – a hard balance to strike . . .
the interesting thing is that i’m a veeeeeery closed person. i let very few people “in” and have really strived for a deeper level of transparency and vulnerability on my blog than i am normally comfortable with. some people read it and don’t think i’m being very personal at all… but those that really know me know how hard it is for me to be willing to even go to that level. i want to be authentic and to show both the “grit and glory” of my life, which takes a lot of intentionality on my part. but i also understand my need to be sensitive. i never ever want to paint my husband or ministry in a bad light so i never just vent those types of frustrations. but i also want to be realistic enough that people don’t assume my life as a missionary in africa is nothing but pure bliss. cause that’s verrrrry far from the truth.
(we can definitely talk more specifics via email.)
Do i think before i type? – Most definitely – there is a constant ‘discussion’ going on in my mind as i type trying to think what others might get ‘wrong’ as i type and so ‘correcting’ myself as i go – but as good as i am at that – i am imperfect also. I make mistakes occasionally!
7 Ye hypocrites, well did Isaiah prophesy of you, saying,
8 This people honoreth me with their lips; But their heart is far from me.
9 But in vain do they worship me, Teaching [as their] doctrines the precepts of men.
Matt 15:7-9
17 Perceive ye not, that whatsoever goeth into the mouth passeth into the belly, and is cast out into the draught?
18 But the things which proceed out of the mouth come forth out of the heart; and they defile the man.
19 For out of the heart come forth evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, railings:
20 these are the things which defile the man; but to eat with unwashen hands defileth not the man.
Matt 15:17-20
Today Jesus might well say what comes out of the fingers defileth the man.
Pete (Comment 15) made a very good point also that agreed with you Mandy – we need to bear in mind at all times that many people see what we write and will form opinion of it based entirley upon THEIR perspectives.
Sometimes we say it best when we say nothing at all (Ronan Keating) – but that makes for such BORING blogs!
And to answer your question… there was this One time…
did i pay for that one!
<B
I think that for the most part, I don’t worry about what I write. Sometimes I make cracks about people like Nicholas Cage thinking, “There’s no way he will ever read my blog because I am not even a speck on his windshield”. It’s hard for me to remember that he’s a real person, so my comments aren’t even directed at him, but his public image, so to speak.
I’m sure I would like him in real life.
*You know, of course, that this means the only celebrity I will ever meet will be Nicholas Cage.
my blog isn’t that interesting! =)
I have prayed for a long time that the Lord would set a guard over my mouth and keep watch over the door of my lips even with typing. it is crazy to think that we will have to give an account for every idle word. ouch!
Alece: sounds like you have created some type of line for yourself, it just might not be where others would draw it. still. . . . its scary to be “transparent” and in leadership ministry all at the same time. they say that Pastors’ families live in a fishbowl, with everyone looking in at them… same can be said of Missionary families as well. all eyes on you. but, yes, its important to be realistic, not painting the “lie” that everything is great and perfect all the time. yes.
Love: “Today Jesus might well say what comes out of the fingers defileth the man.” amen, sir. i’ve actually started praying before i get on the internet… praying that my time/thoughts/comments/emails will be glorifying to God…. yep.
Jenny: LOL! your blog is SO random… SO random! always leaves me smiling!
NatJ: lemme know when you meet Nick!
I haven’t had any run-ins like you, but still I think about what I’m going to type.
Nat: NO run-ins? even with that Oprah post a few weeks ago? about floaters? hmmm…. interesting. you must be like Neo in the Matrix, dodging bullets left & right! HA!
This is very interesting. I do think when I type. I in fact cannot stop thinking soooo….That doesn’t mean it is proofed well. God made me a writer so I type what I feel is a message given. That does not mean I am an editor by any means!
Also, my purpose for my blog really was to keep a more current update on what is happening ministry wise as well as a therapeutic thing for me to do. It does bother me that lurkers are out there and I do believe that we do have a certain responsibility to keep our families safe too. What I try to portray is a real Christian walk and what that looks like for us. To my greatest surprise and reward this blogging thing has opened up a whole community of neat friendships-which I believe was another topic you had listed but with that I have been blessed and would not have even as much to say if it was not for that. If anything I write or say can be used for the glory of God then so be it, I want everyone to see it. If not then I want it to be tossed in the trash.
I do not think I have been hit either by anything like AP news and the such. It would be interesting to know.
Blessings,
Angela
You are very wise. Thanks for posting this!
)
(I found you through Tam’s blog, in case you’re wondering who on earth this Faith girl is.
Faith: glad you are here! any friend of Tam’s is a friend of mine.
This is a great line of thought. I was sent an official prayer request for a hostage situation involving a missionary once. Because it came with formal information, I thought it was safe to post a prayer request about it and BOY, was I wrong. It was not even known that the individuals were necessarily missionaries and could have jeapardized their very lives. I watched the way that fall-out was managed over the net.
I liked this quote above: “When we create a blog we need to decide why are we writing it. If we want to tell our story to the world than we need be honest and write what we feel. If we want to influence people then we do need to choose our words more carefully.”
A mentor once told me that you can be “real” as a leader; you can lead where God is leading. We are not “people pleasers” on the one hand, but on the other hand, we much watch our reputation and character as perceived by others so that we have influence TO lead.