TheNor: You crack me up! bananananananananas ha!!!

Leilanni: i know!!! i think i have to be most “disciplined” with my husband sometimes… i really do. because my words don’t always (well, hardly EVER) accurately reflect how MUCH i esteem him. wow…. yes. i think familiarity sometimes breeds criticism - because we (more than anyone else) are aware of their faults - and vice versa. its an unfortunate dynamic in marriages. one that we are wise to combat against.

“Don’t say anything nice if you can’t say anything at all”

That is usually the route I have to take. Since I am so emotionally charged (and we can’t trust our emotions now can we?) I find that I need to not say anything usually. If I say what I want, I will regret it later. If I try to alter what I say, I usually end up lying or sugar coating my response. Neither one of those is a good situation. One way, I embarrass myself. The other way, I am not being true to myself either.

I have found that not everyone needs to know my thoughts or opinions on things, especially when it could cause a rift or hurt someone, or lead them to believe something that isn’t true about what I think? Follow?

If I take the “don’t say anything at all” route, I find that later on the right way to address the situation comes to me (Thank you Lord!) so that if need be, I can use it. If the situation never arises again, it wasn’t that important in the first place.

Now, all this said, it doesn’t always work out for me! haha! Like I said, I am a very emotional person in my thinking and responding, and sometimes it gets the better of me. However, I am a work in progress.

Shoot dang! I just stole Tam’s tagline! hahaha!

Alece - so, so, so right. The more I think about trying not to be critical the harder it is. So . . .add more light, huh. Love it!!

BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING - to ANYONE (or type)…FIRST Repeat after Me…

“Dear Jesus, please let this come out the way YOU would have said it if I were You.”

Now all you have to do is pray for your memory to improve so you remember to do this EVERY single time you ’speak’ to others.

Here is one reason why we don’t.

(Edited by author - this was going to be a VERY long comment so i have cut it and will paste it into a post on my blog - if you want to know ‘WHY’ then you’ll have to come over and read it (how’s that for shameless, Alece?? )

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Nah, we’re not the weird, crazy ones. We’re just the ones who think apples make a good pie and oranges are glad we didn’t say banananananananananana….And I know how to spell banananananananan, I just don’t know when to stop. And plus…I forgot what I was going to say.

I think of that “game” Calvin and Hobbes played were they made up the rules as they played.

I can’t give anyone else advice on filters because mine is usually broken. Clearly one of my biggest character flaws. What seems so perfect in my head comes out so dumb when I write it.

You are right filters are important because it is too easy to hurt someone else when I don’t think long, and clearly, enough about what I say. I have become better at using a thought filter when speaking to someone face to face. I tried the trick of thinking how my grandmother would react to what I want to say. If it can pass the grandmother test it should be okay.