“It is never to late to be what you might have been” ~ George Elliot (aka: Mary Ann Evans)
i’m gonna be thirty in about five months.
and for some reason i feel like the “possibilities” for my life are diminishing.
…and i’m wondering if i already AM who i’m gonna be….
…if this is all the “me” that i’ll ever be…
…’cause sometimes i don’t like who i am.
if this is the me that i’m gonna be for the rest of my life, i want to be a different me.
i’m thinking about starting a list of “Me’s” that i wanna be… and see how far i get.
does anybody else out there feel this way?
Girl! I am stewing on a blog right now about turning 30… which I will be doing in about three weeks! I am in total unbelief that I am this old!
absolutely. you put words to exactly how i’ve been feeling lately. (i turn 30 next month. GASP!) hmmm… i see us email dialoguing about this sometime soon.
Wait till you have a little one… the possibilities diminish even further! That’s one of the hardest parts about being a momma… everything is sort of on hold for awhile… but then when Ava lets a “mama” slip out or crawls to me over Todd, it’s all worth it!
I will be 37 in September…I will also be a full time college student for the first time in 19 years.
You are NEVER too old to become what you want to become.
God is on a continual quest to better us in Him. It is never too late.
After months of agonizing…feeling the way you are talking about…I made the decision to go get my Teaching Certificate to teach High School. I am very excited, although I will pretty much be starting fresh. Four years of school ahead of me. It ROCKS! Because I get to hang out with young people while I am going to school…and when I am done…yep, more young people!
Totally - I hit the big 3-0 in December. Some things that I thought would be in place at 30 weren’t and that made it a bit hard. But at the same time, I really feel like I’m just now beginning to become “me” . . .I think the best is yet to come. I just wish I had known “me” earlier.
Ever hear Sara Groves’ “Just Showed Up For My Own Life” ? Great song . . .very defining for me right now.
I used to feel that way. But then I remembered…
…no two days are exactly alike. Earth is just that big. Days change by the minute–getting darker, getting lighter. Getting darker. Getting lighter. A seemingly endless cycle. The infinity of “pie.” And once a cloud has run its course, drifting in the winds, releasing its rain, the sky is never quite the same.
So if the Earth is new every day, why shouldn’t we be new every day?
“We turn not older with years, but new every day.” ~Emily Dickinson
I’d rather be a new me every day than who I was yesterday–especially when I don’t really like who I was yesterday.
“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. TOMORROW IS A NEW DAY. YOU SHALL BEGIN IT SERENELY AND WITH TOO HIGH A SPIRIT TO BE ENCUMBERED WITH YOUR OLD NONSENSE.” ~Emerson
Yeah. I’d rather be a NEW me every day.
*sigh*
Yes, but only b/c I did things kind of backwards…. had kids before I really had a life of my own. It was a route I completely chose and am so thankful for, but sometimes I wonder if I will ever be more than a mom and wife. Being those two things was/is my greatest ambition, but still…. there are other things I want to do and be.
I totally get it, but from a different perspective.
p.s I just bought my first “anti-aging, anti-wrinkle” product last night.
HAHA!
YES.
I think about this a lot. For so long it seemed that “some day, when I’m ‘grown up’ I’ll be a disciplined, brave, spiritual person…”…..hmm….
I really like your idea of making a list of who I want ME to be. I think I’ll pray and then make a list. Thanks for sharing this. In an odd way, this was encouraging to me — to know I’m not the only one that sometimes not all I hoped.
One of my favorite verses is Phil. 1:6
I turned 30 last year… and 31 in April. For some reason, the anticipation of my big 3-0 was challenging. I wouldn’t call it a mid-life crisis… but definitely a mid-life reflection… lots of “who am I” and “am I living my purpose” sort of reflecting. What I’ve discovered over the past year- is a fresher determination to be me (not all the searching I think I did in my 20’s)… to be all of who God intended… and the way (or so I’m learning for me) to do this is to spend more and more time with Jesus. Lots of time just being quiet… listening… letting him tell me who I am… letting myself be loved on.
I want to be a new me everyday! At the end of the day I know I can come up with a list of things that I did or say or thought that I don’t want to associate with being “me.” The wonderful thing about belonging to God’s kingdom is that His mercies are brand new every single morning so He gives us the opportunity to start over no matter how old we are, what our gender, race, ethnic background etc may be. I love how His word promises that old things have passed and everything [every attitude, behavior, thought, action, deed] has become new, praise God!
I pray that you are encouraged to know that all of us are a work in progress and confident that He who began a good work in you shall perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus!
Love and blessings
[PS Amy--we are on the same page with that Phillipians 1:6! Amen!!]
Ooooops I meant Danielle! All these comments have me confused. Sorrrrry!!
I don’t know about you, Mandy, but when I turned 30 something happened. It was subtle, but the last couple of years I’ve felt more like the me I’m meant to be than ever. My twenties (looking back) were not that great. A lot of depression and confusion and uncertainty. I can honestly say I just feel comfortable in my skin. And that’s not referring to a physical comfort, it’s a mental thing.
God has made some of us late bloomers, I guess.
I turn 30 in 2 weeks. There are things I wish were different about me. But for the most part I am actually excited about the possibilities the 30’s bring. I feel like I have grown a lot in certain areas, not so much in some, so I would like to continue to grow. For me I hope to be able to turn 30 with the anticipation of accepting who I am and being able to love myself for who I am. I hope my 30’s are a time where I come out of my shell more, live life, and not only be able to love me, but love others deep and hard, not running from love, but embracing it. I look forward to being able to find beauty in myself and others. 30 and flirty is my motto, you know that goofy saying from 13 going on 30! Ha ha! So really I am getting older but I hope to approach life with a childlike attitude, enjoying life as I enter a new decade. Yay!
Mandy, I am 65 I am still and working on my “want to be” list. I am very happy with my life but I hope I never get to the end of my list.
Life with out challenges would be too boring. We do need to rest from time to time. We do need to give ourselves a pat on the back when achive success, but then it should be one to the next great challenge.
Whether you are 20, 30, 50 or 70 there is always going to be some aspect of our life, or job, that needs working on. I least I hope there will be.
We are a work in progress that will not stop until we die. If believers are right it may not stop even then.
In my twenties I was quite confused, but loving my man and all the possibilities. God redirected my desire to teach into church work, that was cool. In my thirties He defined my service more narrowly, teaching women and children. Now, in my forties, I teach in the blogoshpere and really have no idea who these people are I spend my day talking with, but I’m loving it.
My advice…follow what He created you to be, wherever He leads you to do it…He’s gifted you greatly and will do exceedingly, abundantly beyond anything you could ever ask or think…live each day for His glory, no matter the task.
Kinda got preachy there…it’s what I do, sorry.
It can never be about what we accomplish or it gets truly depressing. We will never live up to our own expectations. It has to be about us being faithful to use what He has given us. I know you are doing that. You should feel good about that.
As to whether or not life is over at 30…I think it’s quite nice actually
I wouldn’t go back for anything, but I’ve determined not to miss anything from here on out.
YES!!!
Something about those 30’s seem wicked. I hit the mid 30’s and suddenly felt this urgency to figure everything out. I’m 37. That’s mid-life. I’m half way to Heaven. What have I done? What will I do? Right now I look back and think. yeah…so what…ya know? I’m pretty hard on myself too though.
and i didn’t help you one little bit here.
I’m 37 and have been going through my own mini-mid-life-crisis. But I don’t want to spend too much time wondering what-if, what-could-have-been, what-have-I-missed, cuz then I’ll just miss more!
I used to have a list of who I wanted to be. I finally threw it away and told God I will be whoever/whatever He wants me to be. I am helpless to change myself, so I just have to wait for Him. At least the Bible promises He will complete what He has started in us. I haven’t been disappointed in what He has done with me so far. He is good like that.
I loved turning 30, I felt like I was finally an adult.
I do get disappointed with myself, I didn’t mean to sound like I am GOOD!!! Just better than I would be trying to do it by myself. Not that God isn’t helping all of us. Yikes, I can’t seem to say what I mean. It just seems so hard to trust what God wants to do with us and that He will do it.
I’ll be 30 exactly one month from today. I’ve been thinking a lot lately how my life is very different than I expected it to be at 30. But for me, it was my expectations that were wrong … not the reality that is wrong. Expectations can be dangerous that way.
Happy [early]Birthday to you!
I am 35 and I still tell people that I am trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. I was so glad to be done with my 20’s. When I hit 30 it was like a whole new opportunity. I am such a different person now and in no way do I want to go back. Everyday I pray that God will make me into the person that He has destined me to be. This is not an easy prayer to pray because there are days when God does exactly that and it can be a painful process. Sometimes I just want to say”Just kidding, God. Just make me a little bit better.” I find that I am more patient, more empathetic, more organized, even more playful. I take myself less seriously(most days anyway). I still have a ways to go in becoming the person I want to be, but as I begin to realize who my identity is in Christ, I know that He who began a good work in me will be faithful to complete it.
Natalie Grant has a great song out called “So Long” The chorus says”So long, fairwell to my old life, goodbye to the lie that I can’t be someone else. ‘Cause who I was aint who I am.” I so identify with this song. The whole album is great by the way!
Hey Mandy,
I’m one of your older blogger audiences at 41. But if I may, let me share a little story. At 41 and one month exactly. I had a stroke. By the GRACE of GOD and my friends here on these blogs (including yours) and no I’m not sucking up. I recovered almost 85%. Writing my own blog allows me to stimulate my brain juices and for a stroke victim that is huge. I have lost alot in memory especially short term, but I don’t give up. Daily I blog, raise my 3 kids and work full time and am also a church leader. <<>>>
I say all this not for you or for your readers to feel sorry for me.
But to say this….
God gave me a warning. He didn’t take away everything. He shook me to my core.
He simply said… Heidi you are only you. I need you to IMPACT and EMBRACE the world around you. STOP wasting your time in busyiness and find your talents and share your gift but most importantly Heidi…. Find ME over and over again.
When I am reminded that I am old and changing, I remember I recieved a NEW LIFE when that stroke hit on Thanksgiving nite, a New Life and SUDDENlY my age is just a number…… and HE IS the God that I serve.
Don’t get caught thinking about this too much, or life will surely pass you by.
“Possibilities” for life diminishing? They are just beginning. You are going to become thirty, and I’m pretty sure God doesn’t hand out brains to many people below thirty.
Your life is just about to get interesting. I’m 42, and I am still dealing with new opportunities and cool challenges every year. And every year I age, the “possibilities” get better for me and my wife. Do not limit yourself or God’s ability to use you, because He will take you to the coolest places in life if you’re willing and open.
Also, don’t think kids will ruin your future possibilities either. They bring things out of us we never dreamed. They also put us in the paths of new people we’d have never met otherwise. Thus more “possibilities”.
It may be true the youth is wasted on the young, but there is nothing like the seasoned wisdom of God flowing through your veins. (not that I’m fully operating in it, but there are more flashes of His wisdom in me now than when I was 30)
“…if this is all the “me” that i’ll ever be…
…’cause sometimes i don’t like who i am.”
Show me someone who’s completely happy with where they are. You won’t find them. Sometimes I’d give anything to change several things about me, but I am who I am for a reason, and for some reason God has chosen to love me anyway - and occasionally use me. I cringe a little less often when I think about stupid mistakes I’ve made or idiotic things I said in the past - not because I have forgotten about them, but I am SLOWLY learning to brush them off as being “in progress”. Give yourself the same courtesy.
I am 35, and I think this is my favorite year so far! I LOVE being 35! I feel like I have the world at my fingertips
I’ve spent the past 10 years trying to fit into everyone else’s box, their picture of who they thought I should be, what they thought I should look like, the gifts they saw in me, and the road they thought I should take to get there.
In the past year I’ve discovered….I’m not JUST a susy-homemaker like I’ve been trying to be, I HATE homeschooling which I had done for the past 10 years, I love to draw and paint-which I never even thought of trying before, Having 5 kids is a BLAST no matter what every “frugal grandmother” thinks and no matter how many times they ask me “hasn’t your husband figured out how to shut that off yet??! LOL! that I’m NOT inadequate just because I’m not like everyone else….I have just as many traits that I AM for the list of things that I’m NOT…and I finally like being ME. It’s MY LIFE and I LOVE IT!! But I had to ask God to show it to me. He say’s we are predestined to be conformed into the image of His Son. That means that who I am becoming is a part of who He is….so He knows every single little thing about me…including what my favorite color is 
And with as big as the Bible is….He MUST talk more than I do, so I know He’ll share with me if I ask Him 
You too!
Something happened at 35 though. I was so confused with everyone else’s influence, I had NO CLUE about ME! So I asked God…show me who I am. I didn’t even know what my favorite color was! I had to ask Him. He knows me, so He would know
ALL those above ^^^^^^^^^ are just trying to help you feel better about yourself.
You’re OLD! - Life’s over for you! Have you picked out your coffin yet?
You can have my zimmer frame when i’m gone - in around two weeks - it’s the least i can do for all the good things you have brought to my wasted life.
I’ll always tell you how it is!
<B
HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! Love….you just know how to make EVERYTHING look better don’t you?! LOL!
Kelly:
Wow! Now THAT was something! Thanks for sharing.
Oh, and LoveWill? Not even YOU could “tell it like it is.” I mean, if ya did that, you’d NEVER shut up!!!
Oh. Wait. You NEVER DO shut up, do ya…?
My bad.
You are amazing Mandy…and from somebody who is way older then you, let me just give you some advice…Just do it. What ever it is. Just do it. I know how incredibly lame that sounds, but seriously…No regrets. I know that you are already doing and living and it so doesn’t have to stop when you hit the 3-0 mark. For reals. It is just another day. Don’t freak out about it…Just jump.
wow - i spent a day away and come back to some of the most heartfelt and sincere comments i’ve ever received on this little blog.
thank you to all of you - well, except Mr. Love.
Mandy - I’m ancient around here - turning 45 in a few weeks. Ugh! But I have to say that I feel younger and more alive and closer to God and more like ME than I have at any other time in my life. My kids are still growing (ages 17 down to
but somehow, moving through my 40’s freed me to shed a lot of expectations. I am more comfortable in my own skin than ever before. Well, sort of. It’s not quite as taut and there are a more wrinkles than I realize…but, hey. It happens.
Hang in there and enjoy it all. Don’t be afraid to seize what you want. Don’t let ANYTHING - particularly your own head - limit you. Live in the truth that you are simply one of millions of people, created with the amazing privilege of LIFE. Relate to those around you with grace. Tell yourself, every day, that it’s not about you - as a Christ-follower, it’s about Him and those who are hopeless.
And wear suncreen.
but i’m SO pale!
thanks for the words, beth.
happy early birthday.
Mandy,
Having just turned 40 I can assure you that life does not end at 30. I would say, in fact, that you have your best years ahead of you!
It’s all about perspective, really. I have been struggling with similar issues since turning 40 in March. I’m not where I thought I would be in terms of career, financial security, etc. and I started to get stressed out about those things. However, I have come to realize that I am exactly where God wants me to be and that this life is an ever-changing, ever-evolving process and only God knows what is around the next bend in the road. I submit to you, as others have, that you are not the same person you were yesterday and you will not be the same person tomorrow that you are today. Because we are always learning, always growing, always changing each and every day.
Here’s to the new and improved Mandy (not that we don’t love and adore the old one!)!
GiveMeJesus: thanks for the comment. i really enjoyed your perspective on 40. yes… Here’s to the new and improved Rick as well!
blessings to you and your family.
NE’er - if i get too loud - just turn the sound down
Or switch it off !
i talk in my sleep btw
Zzzzzzz - geee Mandy’s OLD! - zzzzzzzzz.
Zzzzzzz - still looks cute though - zzzzzzzzz.
Zzzzzzzzz….. Pale!, But cute..zzzz… kinda sorta…ZZZZZZ.
<B
MrLove: LOL!!! you two are out of control!!!!!!! good morning.
hopefully the pale will be gone in two weeks = sunny florida = and all that’s left will be cute!!! until then, i’ll have to settle for pale AND cute….. sorry.