But now that I read your whole post…I just don’t really know what to say. Because I am really dealing with the same stuff. I never suffer from insomnia…but last Saturday I woke up at 3am, thinking about my upcoming birthday and everything I haven’t accomplished, and couldn’t go back to sleep for hours.

And then it didn’t help that our pastor preached about being content on Sunday. Content? How can I be content?!

*sigh* It’s one thing to know the voice is from the enemy. It’s another thing to stop listening.

I’m afraid I have more to think about on this topic. Or, I should say, more to pray about.

Hm.

dang.

In my experience, the voice in my head is someone who played a crucial role in my life. It’s very complicated, and this person never meant harm by it, thought they were doing it out of love….but it’s funny how just a few comments over the years can turn into a lifetime of self criticism.

I think we long for the state of being we lost in the Fall. I think we want that perfect fellowship, such complete, unconditional love…knowing we’re beautiful in His eyes.

We do have it, in Christ; but the flesh still screams, at times.

So.

“Let me tell you something you already know…”

http://thenoreaster.wordpress.com/2008/12/04/a-storm-is-coming-you-already-know/

Do YOU know what you’re worth? Or are you just waiting for the whole world to be filled with sunshine and rainbows?

(I don’t know if I should submit this or not, but I think I’m going to anyway. And let the readers and the lurkers accept what portions shall apply to them.)

Overcoming this fear, not allowing it to control my choices, may be most important thing I have worked at in my life.

Mandy, you have too many people reading your blog, listening to your song, finding inspiration in your words and singing, for you to pay any attention to that voice inside you. That voice doesn’t know what it is talking about.

Why would not believe your family and friends when they tell you what a great person you are, what a great job you are doing?

Maybe we know you better than you do.

I’m here to tell you it is not ONLY women who feel this way – you just feel more comfortable sharing it with others – men often feel weak admitting it and weakness is not something men are ‘supposed’ ( by society) to be.

I have one question for all who feel this way: you do not feel good enough FOR WHO???

i’m sure a lot of you will think that a dumb question – the answer is obvious – ‘for me’. Who else?

Well maybe – just maybe that thought is in your heads because of all those with whom you have formed relationships.

Like Annie i think much of it comes from Childhood – that whether deliberatlely or unintentionally, our parents taught us how to feel inadequate – not good enough, because they were decades older and wiser than us and we had a lot to learn until we could relate to them at the level we longed for.

Then when we grow up we transfer the same anxiety onto our relationships with God – we’ll never be good enough to have an ‘equal relationship with Him..
That was what He put Christ on earth for – to show us all that we could have a fulfilling relationship with Him – we could even become His Bride.

Us weak, small, imperfect humans – He loves us!

Warts and all.

it’s up to us to learn to do likewise – and DO what He wants us to ..

not make excuses – not fail because of the fear ,or it’s ‘too late’ or i should have done/do this…

But face and recognise our fears – accept them and do it anyway – it is ok to try and fail because we are not yet ‘good enough’ – because if we don’t try – we don’t change – we never succeed. we don’t ‘make progress’.

We might not get there as soon as we wish but we are to make progress – don’t let others or yourself be the reason you don’t DO.

As a last thought… i love the beauty of flowers.

God’s Grandest designs of natural variety and beauty – some might say ‘perfection’…

But not one single flower is ever ‘perfect’ – they may look it at first glance but careful introspection with reveal tiny flaws here and there – they might be very small or they may be major enough to ‘spoil’ the look…

But they all do what they were born to do – as best they can – for a very brief time – then they die.

We are not so different to the flowers in those respects – the biggest difference is a flower never stops doing what it is about to become because it fears not being good enough – for someone.

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