I CAN’T TELL YOU HOW MUCH I REGRET AGREEING TO LET HIM DO THIS.
In the middle of typing, he turned around. “Ok, so you’re bound by oath to agree to post whatever I type, right?”
“Right, Baby. Whatever you wanna say, I’ll post it.”
You’d think that, since we’d JUST escaped a near-fatal discussion over finances, he would’ve been sweet and nice and funny and charming… But, oh no. This is what I get:
::
All right. I’m taking over the blog today.
This is Mandy’s semi-literate life partner, Drew. If I knew how, I would change that cute little picture on the top right of the page so you could see my face. I have just sent Mandy to go make me four roast beef sandwiches for lunch and so I have the con for a few minutes.
The theme for the post today: Blog envy. I don’t have a funny story or a deep insight or a provocative question. I am just jealous of Mandy’s blog and all her big flashy stats. Apparently several hundred of you have it in for me and you express that by going to her blog every day and not mine. So thanks for that.
Tomorrow, webfriends, is the day that the Empire Strikes Back. Tomorrow is the day that we all do something about my blog envy.
Here’s the plan: tomorrow, nobody visits this blog. Nobody. She’ll have a post and ask for comments, sure. But we’re going to give her a big fat zero on the stat-counter-popularity-meter-person-worth-measurer-thingy. A big goose egg for my wife. In a funny sort of I love you way, not in an in your face my blog is better than yours way.
So, I need everybody’s help on this. DO NOT VISIT THIS SITE TOMORROW. Please. Don’t even check in to see how things are going.
Don’t be tempted by wondering what her witty response to this post will be. Don’t be lured in by curiosity, to see if everybody else is doing it too. Don’t let your inquisitive nature make you come and see if anybody has posted any comments. You can see all of that on Thursday. But tomorrow, nobody visits mandythompson.com.
This is gonna be great.
And as thanks for low-balling the love of my life and the hottest woman in the whole presbytery, I guarantee a new and (somewhat) entertaining post on my blog tomorrow. So if you’re getting an itchy trigger finger and you need to read something, you can get your blogfix there instead.
This is a team effort, folks. Let’s do Mandy proud. Let’s let the very lowness of her stat counter tell her just how much we love her by ignoring her tomorrow.
Set the clock from midnight to midnight EST tomorrow and stay away!
Roast beef time. Gotta go.
I’m in!
THis is hilarious.
unbelievable.
Dude, I didn’t even know you had a blog ya boner!!
Ok, I am in
Hahahaha!!!
Hey Drew, don’t you need to actually write blog posts for us to visit
You can count on me.
::Snaps heals together, puts up a 45 degree angle on that right arm to salute::
crap.
Heels.
Heels I tell you.
I saw it as my right hand hit “submit”, and it was a battle between my body and my mind.
I hate when that happenth.
Y’all!!????
I’ve been betrayed by my own blog peeps…
ah huh. I see who my friends are…
hahahahhaha… I can feel the love.
Man, I’ll try, but if Mandy posts something and it’s staring at me in Netvibes I’m not sure I can resist the temptation.
It’s like having a birthday present and waiting until the day after to open it. I’m not very good at waiting…
Although, if you talk about music, I can retreat that salute.
Or bake me a brownie.
Whichever.
I am DYING!
Chad called you a boner. I don’t believe I’ve heard that expression in about 15 years! hahahaha!!!
I am with gitz…I can always plead that I don’t understand other time zones. I better just give u trying now. I will be the big fat (52lbs)Loser. I will be the first to break. I will lead the way for all of us weak readers!! If I read it on a reader then it isn’t really coming to the site right??
LOL
Forgive me Drew….I went to your blog…It’s last post was on Oct. 25..I am hoping it is at least 2008.
oooh…this sounds F.U.N…i’m IN!
I didn’t even know Mandy was married.
Just kidding.
Iman: Have you even been here before???
Y’all.
I’m sure he’s back at our apartment laughing away at this evil scheme.
Theresa & Gitz: I told him it wouldn’t work… Glad to hear you’re weak enough to be lured back here tomorrow!
Becca: Promises of music and you’ll come? That wasn’t the plan. But maybe I can do something to draw you back.
What if Mandy posts an important question…or a quiz…or a survey?? What if her blog tomorrow has a question that she needs answered that day? She may suffer for our not answering. Hmmm.
I guess it’s hard to think she’ll know of our great bloggy love by us not peeking…..
Mandy…please just don’t blog tomorrow so I can follow the wishes of your man!
Lord, help my blog reader to not have a post tomorrow from mandythompson.com. Amen.
i cant.
i just cant.
nope. way!
Bwaaahahaha.
This is one of those “I wish I had thought of that first” type blog posts. It’s awesome. Brilliant. Epic.
Hey Tam: Mandy has archives on her blog… ask her how to put them on yours.
Thanks.
I’m done being bossy (for now).
Tamela,
You’re weak. I hope Brent will disable your computer for the next 24 hours.
Everyone else–you can do it. Just grit your teeth and bear down.
IT’S ALL FOR MANDY!
i don’t think i can do it.
Current tally:
Drew = 5
Mandy = 4
Bwan: Which side are you on?
Brent???
Russ?
James??
Sniff sniff.
Gitz: I completely agree. I think I’ve even nagged her about it.
Drew: Between me and you – Tam doesn’t read my blog everyday, chances are she’ll wake up in the morning, having forgotten about your post, but never show up. You watch & see.
it’s ok, mandy. this will be good for you… character building. i know – i’m a real character by now.
Are you trying to make this all better, Carolyn?? sigh… I’m getting no real help around here! I’ve gotta write a post about music, and ask a SERIOUS EMERGENCY question just to get y’all back.
Oh the things we’ll do for our stats.
I already had yesterday’s posts planned. sigh. Now I’m questioning all of it.
Well, now, that’s just not fair! I didn’t know Drew HAD a blog!
Although…maybe that’s his point…
Anyways, I’m sad to report to Mr. Drew that my OCD will not allow me to go a day without reading Mandy’s blog. Because she shows up in my Google Reader. And I can’t go a day (or at least a weekday) without getting my unread posts down to zero. Sorry, Charlie. I’m too messed up to play.
mandy, i am totally ignonoring him…
in a loving way. lol!
mandy! i do TOOOO read your blog every day! you crazy. sometimes, i dont have the brain matter to comment so i save it up for one big attack.
drew – *&^%$ *&%$@# &*^%$% $%&!!!!!
im tellin ya/ your stats are gonna soar.
this is gonna back fire on Drew.
wait. unless youre in on it and this is both of your scheming plan????
Wow, that is funny…..but us southern girls have to stick together so I am going with Mandy on this one. You never know what you might miss out on by not coming here tomorrow!
Drew = 5
Mandy = 7
YAY!!!!!! C’mon people! I told him this wouldn’t work. Don’t give up now!! We can DO THIS!
Tam: I had nothin’ to do with this. Honestly…
does it count if i read it in my google reader, but don’t actually visit the blog???…
Drew = 5
Mandy = 8
OG: Counts for me!!!
Actually, I’m not coming tomorrow either.
Drew = 6
Mandy = 8
Enablers…
I’m coming!!!
Drew = 6
Mandy = 9
This is your blog. You don’t count. Holly doesn’t count since Google reader forces her to. So if you want to get technical:
Mandy = 7
Drew = 6 plus the few billion people on the planet who won’t be here either.
It would be our luck that we WOULDN’T visit tomorrow & she’d decide to give away something cool for Christmas.
Sorry Drew. Nice to know you have a blog though. =)
Google reader forces no one. She can unsubscribe if she likes… This will happen of her own choosing.
I lose me, I keep her. Fair, math man?
Mandy = 8
Drew = 6
Oops! Just gained another Mandy.
hehehe. See how that works?
Mandy = 9
Drew = 6
Umm….I have you in my Google Reader and I wouldn’t dream of unsubscribing, not even for the man who plotted against you while you made him sandwiches.
How could I have a post in my reader window and not scroll down to read the rest of it? It would be too tempting anyway. Everybody will want to see if anybody showed up. Viola. Stats.
I’m gonna have to stick with the “bro” here…even though I read your stuff regularly Mandy.
You know what they say.
Drew, I’ve got your back.
P.S. Do you guys know Keith Hand. He said he knew you or knew of you from St. Simons. He’s from the Brunswick area if I’m not mistaken.
and i think everyone should link to mandy tomorrow from their own blog!!!
did you all hear me???
LINK TO MANDY FROM YOUR BLOG TOMORROW. WRITE A POST AND LINK TO HER. EVEN IF IT DOESNT APPLY OR RELATE AND ITS JUST RANDOM.
DO IT!
thus sayeth the prophecy!
Keith Hand! Tell that man we said hey!
Mandy = 10 (Thanks, Anita!)
Drew = 7 (Russhutto is a traitor)
Tam: LOL!! Now THAT’S how it’s done!!!
Mandy,
Well, you were right. You said they’d all fall for it and we could get your stats higher than ever tomorrow. Kind of a cheap way to do it, but as you yourself said, stats are more important than people. Enjoy the high ratings–you’ve earned it!
awwww. is dwoo sad???
DREW THOMPSON! I can’t believe you just wrote that on my blog.
This was ALL your idea. And, you know it made me mad when I read this post.
NOW, you wanna act like I had something to do with this!?
You should be ashamed of yourself… Future pastor. Lying. For the whole world to see.
Tam: I think so. I think VERY sad.
Drew, if you were brought up in my Catholic family you’d be in the confessional about now…
Mandy: maybe the next time Tam comes to read but doesn’t feel like commenting she could use her “good post” standby she threatened that day on twitter…
Too funny! Just write something the the google community can’t refuse … you know some kind of often googled phrase. I know you’ll think of something incredibly witty!
gitz – im on my way to your place now. or i can just tell you here…”good post!” ooo-ooo, or “thanks for sharing.”
forgive me? it just seemed like such a fun game!
JR: I’m sorry. I could hardly read your comment for all the tears in my eyes…
Lori: I’m DESPERATELY working on it!!!
Gitzy: hahaha!!!
did you EDIT my spelling?
are you COMplaining?
me? never. i am far above it.
drew, drew, drew, drew
i’m praying for the Lord to give everyone the strength and self-control to overcome temptation and not visit this blog tomorrow!!!
This is hilarious! You know somebody is bound to check the site out.
There is NO way I’ll be able to stay away tomorrow.
None what-so-ever.
Drew I think we are bound to each other by our “each others best man” relationship.
I am with you.
Sorry Mandy, I have no choice. Something tells me you would have counted me for Drew anyway.
Mandy, I think a good follow up post for this would be the struggles of a blog fast. HaHa.
I’m sorry Drew….
But my heart doesn’t beat right unless I get my Mandy Thompson.
It’s something about the
Y’all that gets me going in the morning.
I left off a word…
I my Mandy Thompson ( Fix)!!
Mandy = 12
Drew = 9
Trav: I wouldn’t have it any other way. Besides, the way these numbers are lining up, your boy needs you…
H: It worked either way!
Nope.
Drew? Or should I call you Wes? Anywho, I do think you are one splendid guy whom I’ve yet to meet, but I must tell you that I cannot, nor will not betray my Mandypants. Yes, it is a fact that I’ve never laid my eyes on her or hugged her neck, but there’s a connection and far be if for me to mess up our friendship when we haven’t even met.
Now, I will check out your blog, but you better have somethin’ spicy or saucy or entertaining because I’m gettin’ old and I can’t be readin’ something that isn’t spicy or saucy or entertaining.
And there you go.
Hugs, Wes, er, um, I mean, Drew
Soo Mandy…You should wait until he falls aslep and then put makeup on him and take pictures. Then blog about it and put the pictures online. That would for sure make your numbers spike!!! Does he look good in red lipstick,
LOL …really am kidding…..Post as close to midnight your time as possible and then us West Coasters will be able to use the different time zone defense.
Fellas–I feel you. Much love.
The fairer sex–disappointed. Not surprised. Just disappointed.
drew, its a shame your name doesnt even link to your blog.
pity.
Mandy = 14 (Thanks Cindy & Holly!)
Drew = 9….. just 9……..
Theresa: So. Midnight? does that mean you’re boycotting tomorrow as well??
OH No I will be here Tomorrow…More then once just to read all the I told you sooos that will be coming Drew’s way. LOL Your girls are never leaving you. it might me different if he at least blogged. I mean Tam’s Brent at least blogs. Drew would have to show great blog stability to take away your readers. LOL Or Bribe us with lots of money.
She’s habit-forming and do you know how it is to break a habit?
I’ll click on without even thinking.
But this was hilarious!!!
hehehehehe
Mandy = 15
Drew = 9
HARD*
hahahahahaha hahahhahhaha hahaahahahaha now i am curious off to the mans blog.. LOL
Red! I missed your comment!
Mandy = 16
Drew = 9
… I’m starting to feel sorry for the man.
I wonder what today’s stats look like… I mean, this “no visit” thing has 75 comments.
As for tomorrow, well… um… I have her in my reader so I don’t know if it shows in her stats or not. Hmm…….
you could just “stick it to him” and not post tomorrow!
The comments to this post say a LOT more about Addiction and The Sisterhood than about blog envy! ( Drew – Counselling can help, Dude! and – you have a BLOG???)
Seems either the ladies did not buy your premise that staying away tomorrow would show your other 50% flesh how much they love her – or they don’t really love her at all??
Yayyy – i get to put Drew into double figures.
i LOVE you Mandy and i will prove it by staying away as your ‘head’ has requested us.
<B
L: Hmmm! I don’t know if it shows up either.
Al: No. That would mean he got the upper hand in all this…
Love: Um… thank you?
Mandy = 16
Drew = 10
Drew – Can do – Mandy, see you Thursday. 26 hours from now – thats all. Papa will buy ice cream cones for everyone who does not show up on Mandy’s blog tomorrow. For Tam, Dutch Bros. of her choice. I’ll put it in the mail Tam – I will.
wow….it doesn’t matter how old we get, it always turns into girls vs boys but we all know that the girls always win!
Reminds me of a t-shirt I had when I was like 6 or 7, “Anything boys can do, girls can do better!”
Papa: Gasp!!! Not you!!! NOT YOU!!!!
Ram: OH HECK YEAH! You mind resurrecting that t-shirt for us tomorrow??
Mandy = 16
Drew = 11 (Papa just broke my heart.)
Mandy – this is for your spiritual enhancement – anyone who succumbs and comments on your blog tomorrow is hindering your spiritual growth – its kind of a form of abstinence ?? It’s not a guy vs girl thing – it is a spiritual battle – a growth opportunity for Mandy.
WOW!
Papa!
Sounds like you & Carolyn up there are playing “god” in my life. LOL
heh heh – grow girl grow! lol
did you all notice how the scheme worked? Mandy’s stats go up today…TO-DAY. Tomorrow won’t matter….
Now, Mandy said she had nothing to do with this however I’m thinking she did since she let Drew guest post in the first place. She may not have known his plan, but her plan was clear…Drew guest posts and Mandy stats fly….
Gosh this is almost as bad as Obama vs. McCain…who should I blog with, Mandy or Drew…Drew or Mandy…I really don’t know how to cast my vote….
SUM-BUDDY HELP MEH!!
DUDE! Papa turned on you, Mandy… I never thought I’d see the day…
This is freaking hilarious!
I ESPECIALLY love the scolding you gave Drew. That had me laughing my rice cakes off! hahahahahaha!!!
“DREW THOMPSON!”
Lori! Woman. I seriously had nothing to do with this… I just looked at him and said I was gonna do a “best of 2008″ series because my creativity waned. Then he asked if he could guest post. That’s it. I wasn’t even manipulating him or anything… Promise!
Gitz: I. KNOW.
Brandy: It was worse. I actually deleted some of it.
Got a link now, sucka.
thanks
Am I the first one of “today” which was “tomorrow” yesterday?
I must stand by my co-leader…women wired to worship together!!
Girl, I love you, I miss you and I am praying for you. I hope you enjoy your day today with dear friends!
Mandy Thompson…”Happy Christmas”…xxx
Hey, babe… it’s after midnight here. Just helping kick off the day of many visits and huge stats.
In the words of Drew, “Sucka.”
Too many Int’l visitors to try this trick – didn’t know about “tomorrow” until “tomorrow” had already arrived.
Mandy – did he really eat 4 roast beef sandwiches?
lol. this is too funny.
This Drew character has a blog…?
Um…well, I’m kind of a night owl. So, for me, this is still Tuesday. Wednesday gets here when I wake up tomorrow night.
So, even though it’s after midnight, RT (Real Time, that is), this visit doesn’t count as a Wednesday visit.
But don’t worry, Drew. Mandy’s stats are TEN TIMES as high as mine. So I know exactly how you feel.
@ gitz, theresa and mandy – weak shmeak.
Drew who?
I’ll be back
Pingback: stat inferiorority complex « inProgress
HAHAHA!!! Helloooooo everybody!
Susan! Gitzy! Sharon Mac! Louise! JR! Nor! Y’all make me laugh!
This was fun to wake up to!
Pingback: Stat Battles « Way TMI
Well, I guess you can see who I ended up voting for!!! hehehe
Mandy did you notice the *wink* in my observation detailed above? If not…well, it was there! Honest, it was!!
Love ya girl!!
helping
raise
stats
one
comment
at
a
time
.
Lori: Sure! Now you say it!!!
Selena & Tam: Oh ladies. I do so love you both!
I don’t understand what’s happening.