Um. So. This is really just a half-song for now. 1 verse. 1 chorus.
I’m not even sure if I like it. We’re still trying to get to know each other.
I used to think that I was superhuman.
I could do anything if I put my mind to it.
Then life came along and kinda had to ruin it all.We all know how the story goes.
This life is what it is.
This life is what it is.
The ups and the downs,
The hits and the misses,
This is…
Life is what it is.
I can hear this first verse floating on a sea of Hammond B-3 waves. And wanna bring in layers of harmonies in the chorus. Maybe a tight country band singing it? But, it’s not “there” yet.
I think the melody is what’s bugging me. I don’t think it’s catchy enough for the message of the song… I think the lyrics of the verse can stand alone, but the melody? I dunno. I’m tryin’ y’all. I’m tryin’.
Second verse more about how life messes up life?
And can the pre-chorus (we all know… how the story goes) be more cliche’?!
Bridge?
Thoughts?
Suggestions?
Rotten Tomatoes?
Fire away…
So, apparently when I’m in a lot of pain and nursing a headache I am easily weepy. But since you did just unintentionally start writing a song about my life I figure it’s ok.
That’s the mark of a good songwriter, isn’t it? Writing about yourself and convincing the listener it’s all about them?
Love the chorus. In the same way I love the chorus in May God Arise… just hits me right.
I like, I like. Really. I mean, alot.
Suggestions:
The last line of the verse maybe use “just” instead of “kinda” ?
I think the melody is fine on the chorus. Especially, if you’re going for that country-esque sound.
Last few words of the chorus, instead of ending on the 5 of the key (melody wise) I’d like to hear it resolve all the way down to the 1. Maybe on “what” you’re on 2, and then “it is” you hit home (1).
I think later on, especially with a tight country band, the last time through instead of going down to the 1, you could go up to the 1 (Octave).
Just a thought.
I really like the simplicity of this one. I think by playing around with the melodic lines (especially in the verse) you run the risk of losing the simple “emotion” in the vocals.
I love it Mandy… Really..
I like Russ’s point of view of changing kinda to just.
Are you writing about me?
I have an idea, but I want to check with my son the songwriter if it’s stupid or not.
Luvs!
These two comments are surprising and ironic:
Gitz: I’m reading a songwriting book right now that actually said that the importance of writing subjective songs is that you can write them in a way that makes your listeners think you’re talking about their life. That’s when the song is relate-able… S, wow. Can’t believe you said that.
Russ: Your comment = amazing. 1) First write of that verse line was “just” … then changed it. And I don’t remember why. 2) Melody of verse ended just as you suggested, but sounds so… normal. I happened upon holding the V and thought about sticking there. Dunno. But you’re right about simplicity… I’ll remember that.
H: I’ll take any ideas y’all have!
None are too stupid, and all can be improved… So. You like? Really? I don’t think I like it. Am I crazy here?
GITZ: On second thought, I’m sorry that you can relate. I forgot to mention that. But, really. I am.
I can hear it, Mandy! Good job!
I guess I want to hear some hope in it. I need to hear hope in it…something that’s gonna come in and zing my heart with understanding and bless it with something to hang on to. Does that make sense?
Holly: yes. It does. I tend to write one-sided songs, though… How ’bout a bridge that talks about the ups and the hits? The surprises that we could never prepare for and can never say enough thanks for??
You know, I really liked the words to this.
They have a lingering affect…And, as such, your song should be a bit lingering, letting those chords ring out (a few trills/hammer-ons would even be appropriate)
The melody doesn’t move too much in the verse, but sometimes that can be okay.
I don’t know that the key is the best fit.
Let me play around a bit.
Try this out. Maybe you won’t like how it sounds, and you might have to change the melody.
But, why not switching to a C#m7 for the first part of this?
“We all know how the story goes.”
So, it’d be like…
Then life came along and kinda had to ruin it all.
A2, D2 (your normal progression before you crescendo into that E)
but then play the C#m7 right after.
okay.
So it’d look like this. haha.
C#m7 D2
we all know how the story goes
Though by changing that chord, in my head I changed the tempo of when you switched the chords and how you sung that line.
Dangit. I wish I one of those recording thingies you’ve got on here. This would all be SO much easier if I was just sitting by you.
(when I played it, I didn’t have as long of a pause after “know” and “how”) I think that was a big difference.
i have no smart input. just that i know the end-result of this song will definitely feel like it fits me…
As we say here…
Mucho Loc0 Chica
“very crazy girl” It’s going to work I love, it just needs some twisting.
I like it so far.
Then life came along and “kinda” had to ruin it all.
I am not sure if “just” is better than “kinda”. Just is a statement. Kinda is a question. Which is your intent?
“The hits and the misses,
This is Life is…what it is.
Maybe a pause(?) between “Life” and “is”
The hits and the the misses, this is life…is what it is.
With your first two songs you are off to a great start.
I don’t have any musical suggestions, but I wanted to say that I like how you wrote the first three lines to rhyme. They’re not simple, easy rhymes; it’s more like the words just sound good together. I couldn’t see that when I read the lyrics – I had to hear it to get it.
PQ: Thanks! I wondered if anyone would catch that. The first 2 lines came naturally, but that 3rd line, especially with “it all” tucked at the end, proved to be tricky! I really like how it flows, though… It’s my “favorite” part of the song – if I had to have a favorite.
Ed: I thought through that “this is life… is” pause as well. I think it’s an improvement in the lyrical structure. Will make some sense outta the phrase “this is”. I’m with you on that one! Thanks!!! Will think through kinda vs just. I like how you see meaning in each word.
H: Are you saying that your idea is for me to add “mucho loco chica” to the song?
Al: All the more reason to have some hope thrown in there some where.
Becca: I like the idea. Really! Need to sit down and play with it, and don’t have the time right now… I’m making a note of this in my song notes. Thank you for taking the time, now go get that dang recorder!
first listen: gooseflesh. And I’m in Africa. It ain’t cold here.
So hey – I had some ideas for you about what to put in your songs yesterday – I think your style and voice would really suit some story songs from your childhood. Just a thought…
Second listen: The second line feels too long. I don’t know…trying to decide if it works anyway. Maybe “I could do anything I put my mind to”…maybe too short. Dunno.
I love “We all know how the story goes” I can just see us all singing that at the tops of our voices while we listen to you in rushhour traffic.
I would’ve liked the second verse of the chorus to be slightly different to the first. To go ‘down’ at the end or something.
Anyway – I already love it!! It’s going to be in my head all day, I tell ya. ALL day. I might even sing it at the top of my voice in traffic.
This feels like a feel-it-out kind of song. As in…don’t work too hard on it or you’ll lose something. Know what I mean? I think bits and pieces will come to you when you’re least expecting it.
Great stuff. Encore!
Yep, it works, because I can hear Faith Hill’s song, ” Secret of Life” or Jodee Messina ” That’s how it goes.” so if it reminds me of other songs…you’re good!
Life is what it is…and I think we all have a bit of super human qualities. I am so proud of you and I am eager to see what awaits.
good stuff…i’m caught up now…on song 2 /100…this means i have to get back to my daily visits to your blog…nice!
this tune is definitely something that people can relate to…good stuff!!!
don’t know if it’s for this or some other writing endeavor, but…
i had a friend of mine talking to me about how so much of life is learning to cope with the death of a dream… we have something in mind, something we want in life or how we expect things to play out according to our hopes and expectations… like a little girl’s fairy tale of a life… and then it blows up, falls apart, changes, shifts… somebody died, or we lost the job, or he said no, or that person let us down… and not always that it turns out bad, but just different… thought you’d be married by xx age but still aren’t even dating , always wanted to have xx job when you grew up, but circumstance changed the plan… whatever. not so much “settling for” but “coping with”
prov16:9. prov19:21
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To my bones girly.
Thank you.
R
I like it. However, consider changing the note on the chorus when you sing, “This LIFE is…” because I am thinking that a country singer may not have the range that this song, in it’s current state, calls for.
Just my two cents.
love it, mandy. You’ve got a bit of a Jen Knapp thing going, has anyone mentioned that to you? Or maybe Jen Knapp had a Mandy Thompson thing going. yep.
I like Russ’ idea about ending the chorus on the 1 (in either octave), and I can see the appeal of your choice to end on the 5. I think the choice of that note add color to the statement the lyrics are making. Like, resignation (low 1)…. proclamation (high 1) …. encouragement (5). So I think as the song grows, and depending on how a bridge might take shape, you could use all three to end the chorus at various times to add those various emotional flavors.
Great work, and great thing you’re doing by challenging yourself and inviting others in. Truly.
I’d pay to listen to stuff like this, keep up the good work….can i revoke my lurker status and become a real person now?