Feeling
Finished my studio sessions today (Yesterday – Thursday)… I found myself swimming in a sea of emotions, wave after wave until I could no longer tell which way was up. After about the 3rd hour of singing, I realized what I was experiencing.
My songs are most often based on some type of personal experience I’m facing. They are my diary. I write about life, ups and downs… Joys and sorrows. All of it. Through each song – each memory – I was reliving bits and pieces of the past three years of my life.
I was prepared for the typical stresses of studio work. Brent warned me that recording vocals can be a physically and mentally stressful experience. There are the high notes that I wanted to talk myself out of reaching… Hour after hour of standing straight, controlled breathing, don’t move don’t move don’t move – just sing. Singing is a very physical process. Doing this for hours wrapped me in fatigue. Muscles hurting that I didn’t know I had…
But I wasn’t prepared for the emotional stress. And I wasn’t prepared for how my own songs would draw those long forgotten memories right back to the surface. I didn’t realize how much raw feeling was packed into the sound, tone, and lyric of each song collected for this project. Even the upbeat and funny songs harbor a much deeper and painful message. Even these songs wrapped my soul in emotion.
I found myself resisting. Not wanting to surrender my heart and voice to the lyric and tone that I’d written months, even years, ago. But, for this project to reach it’s potential, I knew that I had to give myself to each song. Fully. Openly. Unhindered.
When it was all over with, I sat down to listen to a few takes, and I wanted to cry.
I had nothing left in me but to weep over the why’s and how’s of each of those songs.
that’s something that most people will never be able to understand!!! but it has to be one of the best experiences anyone can go through…especially for someone that God has blessed with the gift of music…it brings back a lot of memories for me, without being there or having a clue what you have gone through…
it’s awesome that you have been able to experience it all with brent and tam!!! something that you will NEVER forget!!!
I can’t wait to hear what God has been working in you! There’s no doubt that music is emotional… an overflow of your heart.. makes sense that this project has caused you to revisit each of those moments. It’s going to be great!
That all makes perfect sense, Mandy – good music MUST come from your heart and all the messy stuff that’s in there. For you to go through all the emotions again, just like you were back in the situations and feelings, tells me that those songs are something powerful. I can’t wait to hear them!
i love that you get that feeling during this process. it’s so real, and authentic.
I can’t wait to hear the collaboration. I’m telling Brent to bring me some premix bootlogs to re:create. Or Mandy, why don’t you just bring them to re:create yourself?
your making me anxious already to hear these tunes… patience has never been my strong suit!
UGH! I can’t wait to hear the finished product!!
i’m so glad you gave yourself to it. that you put all of your heart into it. because that means you’re giving that gift to me. when i hear your music, i will not just be hearing your lyrics, your voice, your instrumentation… i will be hearing your heart beat. and that means more to me than anything else.
because your heart is so beautiful. and i love you.
I have chills. I also think that weeping is good sometimes.
I am so glad that you were in a safe place and with people that love you and knew what you would need.
Hugs
Strength and
Mojitos…
can’t wait to hear…
I have already told you this like a kazillion times….I AM NOT A MUSICIAN…not like you anyways, but that (what you wrote) is why we are all drawn to music. What it does to our souls. And that my Friend, is why you make it, and we listen. Praying for you.
I love how you described your experience! I can’t wait to hear it all!!!!
Completely empathise. Had this feeling after a stage performance when I was acting. And it does make it authentic. It will sound that way in each and every song. Which is exactly who you are. Real.
And I’m with Alece. What a wonderful gift to us!
you are a true musician, through and through. getting to watch you go through this process and experience is something i will never forget.
people, i can NOT wait til you hear what mandy has done this week! i sat jaw dropped so many times sitting in on the sessions and hearing play back. this, all BEFORE the finished product…..its already THAT amazing. truly!
I’m proud of you Mandy!
People, this lady belted out stuff I have never heard in person before. She is an artist, a song writer and an amazing vocalists. It is my privilege and honor to work with her and we can’t wait to share the stuff we are doing together!!!
Fred, I’ll see what i can do
Girl, that is exactly what I imagined that process to be like a million times in my head when I’ve listened to other cds. The moments, the emotions, the reaching past your toes into the places in your soul you didn’t know existed … all so you could share a story and be a part of His plan.
I am sooooo phenomenally proud of you and cannot wait to hear and feel it for myself. And I love that your experience is with Brent and Tam and they have their hearts on it through you. So cool to be so collaborative.
I love that I get to say I knew you when. Even though we haven’t met
Oh! I can’t wait to hear the finished product!!
No wonder some say that the process of creating a project like you have described, is like childbirth… well, sort of…
Can’t wait to hear the results and pray you are rested and refreshed after all that. Isn’t the memory a wonderful thing – and a seeming curse at the same time. Things happen and you say “well, there was this time, this person, this event, this pain….” Music helps keep the emotion alive and promotes the healing as well. Keep it up!!!
Very honest and forward. Thanks for sharing.
I can’t wait to hear them, girl! You are brilliant!
that’s kind of what I feel like every time I do my interpretive dances.
whoooshhh…..
LOL@Drew
I do the same thing with stuff I’ve written years ago… go back and read it again and realize that I’m experiencing it all again. It’s incredibly draining, and yet at the same time, draws me closer to the Lord who saw me through all of those challenging times. What an awesome Father we have!
I seriously want to see Drew dance!
I have a picture of it in my head and I am sure it doesn’t do it justice…