08: Portion
2009 February 2
I don’t pray… much at all.
I don’t write “worship” songs, either.
This defies both of those rules. My way.
Weary
Empty
Needing
Something
In this life, there are many things.Will You be my portion?
Be my bread of life?Nothing
Fills me
Only
Kills me
In this life, there are many things.I WILL OPEN WIDE MY MOUTH
I WILL TASTE AND SEE
hauntingly lovely. i so would have chosen to sing this after communion back in the day.
(i put an old recording of amazing grace a capella on my blog today if you want to hear it.)
Wow. Don’t change anything.
mandy thompson, you confuse me woman… you don’t pray??
I think you NEED to rexamine..
This is so beautiful. So You..
(), BTW , stop reading over my shoulders.. this would so be on my journal girl…
This SOOOOOOOO moved me, I have to listen to it again.
Rexamine = writing more worship songs
THIS
WAS
UNBELIEVABLE.
Anna: No. Not enough to say that I do.
H: Still wouldn’t consider this a worship song – nothing for the congregation to sing along to.
worship songs are not for congregations..
They are for people like me who need to sing along during a tough day and seek Him. Him and His portion (goodness).
I CANNOT stress enough HOW MUCH this song ministered to my heart in the LAST 30 minutes. I am not even musically inclined AT ALL. But I am already humming this tune. WHY?
Because I am talking softly (or praying )in HIS ear to fill me with His portion.
Isn’t that what worship is?
I don’t even know what to do with comments like that… Thank you, Heidi.
Keep writing..
Keep (praying) in your writing..
lovin ya ALOT
oh! I like this a lot. Very pretty, very raw.
I honestly don’t listen to worship songs very much anymore (just certain ones).
But this is how I like worship to be done.
Really enjoying the song writing challenge. I love all the different things you have done….nothing sounds the same which can be a challenge for a songwriter I am sure. I write songs in my dreams but I can never remember them when I wake up. That sucks because I have always wanted to write a real song! Look forward to hearing more.
This was beautiful, Mandy. It’s amazing not only that you’re taking this challenge so seriously … but that you can do it … and that you share the raw song with us. That is a lot of vulnerability.
I keep coming back to hear this, and I know you want to sell songs more than perform them yourself, but I can’t imagine another soul meaning it as much as you in this moment. If you sell this someday, I’m always going to like you performing it better.
I really like the lyrics. I don’t see this as a worship song, at least as well as understand what a worship song is, because it does not end with an answer, such as “I have found God.” You want, need, something, but at the end you don’t say you have found it.
Ed: yep. exactly. That right there is the “my way” I’m talking about. I considered changing the final chorus to “You are my Portion. You are my Bread of Life…”
But, it doesn’t quite fit right now…. Not right now. This song is much more of a prayer – a request – than an affirmation… MUCH more.
I think if you change it to “your my portion” you are taking the WHOLE meaning of the song. Maybe I am out in left field but I think, you are just looking for God in this song. Not claiming God in this song.
That’s why it gripped me today… I just want to be broken before Him with no agendas and to be “raw” like someone said before.
This is what makes this a POWERFUL worship song. It’s personal.
thanks for sharing.
i love the transparency of your heart in this song. i love that the transparency of my heart reveals the same prayer as yours.
I don’t think I can say anything here that hasn’t already been said – just ‘thanks’.
Wow. You’re welcome… All y’all.
H: I thought through it – thought through past feedback on some of my songs. Thought about how Mr. Love would say “there’s no resolution!” and what would I do about it….?
Then, I thought: Wait. This is my song from my heart and in the realness of what I’m feeling… To put the pat answer at the end of the song would lose all manner of authenticity. Couldn’t do it. Just couldn’t do it.
Love it! Finally posted last week’s song from me over on my blog too. Yay.
Here’s my feedback from a composer’s standpoint.
1) Structurally I wouldn’t change a thing.
2) Oddly enough I had a hard time feeling the beat through the first verse…it wasn’t until the chorus that I realized this was in compound meter (multiple of 3). For the sake of losing that odd “where am I rhythmically” feeling I might layer one more piano part in there, or a light acoustic strum to keep the song’s flow moving until the chorus.
3) The verses: I like the simple, poetic vibe there. Wouldn’t change much if anything. One thought I had though (my comp teacher’s voice is ringing in my ear’s now) is that you might ever so slightly vary the 2nd and 4th lines’ melodic line so that is doesn’t get monotonous. Even 4 words can be monotonous. So maybe on the 4th line instead of going up you just go down. Just a thought.
4) Choruses: Beautiful. Simple. Catchy. Moving. I wouldn’t change a thing.
Those are my thoughts, take em or leave em.
And hop on over to my place and shred my song this week!
amen
Seriously…pure.
There’s no solution.
Now – what you gonna do about that?
I didn’t want to disappoint you ( further)
<B
What i REALLY feel is…
There is always a solution – to every ‘problem’ just not always one we find in any way satisfies our ego’s needs.
i believe ( but cannot ‘prove’) the answer lies in: ‘Less of me – More of Thee’
and by ‘me’ i mean the ‘i want’ me ( which is basically the ‘i lack this’ me) and the Thee is everything we think of when we think of God in His Highest – that is also capable of being expressed through each one of us.
Powerful, creative, active, generous, patient and most of all loving.
If we all lived such a life there would be no time for self pity or self doubts.
<B
Russ: Good thoughts on the 2nd, 4th lines thing… But I might leave the rhythm the way it is for now – I like thinking the listeners feel lost in it. I do…
Love: Is it ok for a song to be only about the problem and not about the solution sometimes? I don’t want to answer this question for Him. I NEED Him to answer it for me.
Miss M – ’sometimes’ is it ok??
Seems to me there is no ’some’ about it – everyone writes songs that tell how miserable/confused/ hurt by love/blue they’re feeling slash wrists
Many people relate to them and feel : ‘Well, maybe i’m not the only one suffering like this. Now i don’t feel so bad and i can carry this weight some more”. And then 100 million people still have the exact same problem and a theme song for it, but they take comfort in the fact it’s not just them who think one aspect of their life sucks.
I cannot think of many songs ( Don’t worry – Be happy by Bobby McFerrin is about the only popular one i can recall) that HAVE solutions in them – unless you count a number ( but not all ) ‘gospel’ songs.
So sure it’s ok, heck it seems compulsory to some folk.
As for Him answering the question for you… what if He just did but your expectations won’t let you see that it was Him??? Should He cater to your needs or should we cater to His Plan? Are we here for Him or is He there only for us?
The Lord works in mysterious ways…sometimes.
Sometimes the answers we seek are right under our noses and we reject them and keep right on looking for one that suits us ‘better’.
Folks with Kids would probably get that so clear.
Maybe i should just pray you hear His Answer soon huh?
Not that it has anything to do with me of course.
<B
Love:
I appreciate how everyone has related to this song, in varying degrees. But this is one of those songs that wasn’t meant for others.
Not at all.
If it was, I would’ve written it in 3rd person, just as when I pray prayers for others, I say “them” or “we” instead of “me.”
For me, the point of this song is simple – to ask God (chorus) to fill those places in my heart (verse 1) that I so often have a knee-jerk reaction to fill with other things (verse 2)… For this moment, this time, this week, this song is my prayer. It’s my reality. And, even though I’ve posted it here for the world to see, this one is definitely between me and God. I’m very aware that others are listening, but I don’t think I’m directly responsible for how they interpret or apply it… But for me to have written it otherwise would’ve been nothing short of a lie.
This asking is the purest and truest thing I can offer right now… And I’m hoping that ‘having not because I’ve asked not’ will turn into ‘having because I’ve asked.’
Aren’t our prayers to be supplications to our Heavenly Father who wants nothing more than to give good gifts? I’m hoping He’ll give me Him. Whether it be by opening my eyes to Him under my nose, or whatever.
Maybe it’s better to say this song is not so much about the problem as it is finding a solution. And, I believe there IS a solution, or else I wouldn’t have asked…
I don’t care how He answers.
I don’t care how “wrong” I might turn out to be…
I just want an answer.
I don’t know if it’s hard to believe – or not – but i knew all of what you just wrote from reading to and listening to your song!
Two things all Christians should know concerning prayer they want answered by God.
Matt 6:6
then Matt 6:8
He knows what you need BEFORE you ask of Him – if you are to receive it you have to believe you already have it in order for your wish to be granted.
Asking for the faith to believe in Him be strong enough to be able to believe your prayers are answered before you even asked them – that’s what trips most of us schmucks up right there.
We either have it – or we don’t. Some of those who don’t believe they can ‘fake it till they make it’ If they keep on putting the right energy into a thought ( or prayer) eventually it will come to pass.
That does not always work though because of the way our minds have been ‘programmed’ to believe by our past experiences.
Good luck on this one, Hun
Ever asked what it is precisely that is telling you you he hasn’t answered you yet?
<B
Aren’t our prayers to be supplications to our Heavenly Father who wants nothing more than to give good gifts? I’m hoping He’ll give me Him. Whether it be by opening my eyes to Him under my nose, or whatever.
Maybe it’s better to say this song is not so much about the problem as it is finding a solution. And, I believe there IS a solution, or else I wouldn’t have asked…
I don’t care how He answers.
I don’t care how “wrong” I might turn out to be…
I just want an answer………….
WE ALL do Mandy… We all do.. You’re not alone.
This song is still ministering to me today.
I need His portion. I need Him
Love:
re: Matt 6:6 – I guess I blew that one by posting this prayer.
re: Matt 6:8 – Then why even ask to begin with? I can never figure that part out…
re: “Ever asked what it is precisely that is telling you you he hasn’t answered you yet?” You’re assuming that I’ve been asking this of God for a long time… but I haven’t. I wrote this song on Sunday. Looking forward to an answer!
H: Thanks… again. and again.
[mandypants, i just need to thank you again for your transparency and raw-ness in all this (not just your song). thank you, sweet friend...]
You’re welcome. always.
Why ask to begin with?
To strengthen our Faith in Him – if things just ‘happen’ the way we would prefer without us having to ask for them we could very soon think we don’t NEED Him and relegate Him to Something ‘other’ people have need of.
By asking with Humility for what HE prefers for us (not what our selfish egos want for us) we (ideally, but so very hopefully it seems) learn valuable lessons in life.
Imagine how your kid would turn out if he/she was given everything they wanted without asking you first (asking – not PESTering)
And would it be good for them – what would they learn from that?
S P O I L E D!
How does that sound to you?
<B