My iTunes shuffled through songs while I was fighting to reinstall a program on my computer, watching the snow fall, wishing I was out on the beach somewhere between here and the equator.
My laptop started playing this song for me, a track from an evening of my life – lived maybe 4 years ago. This was (and probably still is) one of my favorite praise songs. Not just the funky groove by a band that was out of my league of leading, but the words – the tones – the feel of the song.
And then there’s my unmistakable southern accent. It’s there. And it made me smile.
This little track – this little four minute glimpse into my past – this might possibly be a highlight moment in my worship leading experience. Everything was right. The songs, the hearts, the band, the group, the message. And I didn’t know it at the time.
Our seminary days are drawing to a close. Nine more months, and then who knows. As I look towards the “who knows” I wonder if the best is already behind me… If it’s a distant memory that streams from my laptop not-too-often.
I don’t know where we’re headed after this, but something deep inside me wants to believe that it’s not over yet. We’re just getting started.
When did you get started? Are you there yet? Or is it all behind you?
“Love Me Like You Do (So Amazing)” written by Scott Keller.
i feel A LOT like my best is all behind me right now. i know that’s a lie, but it’s how i feel nonetheless. [that hope is an elusive little bugger...]
[oh - and you know, i'd love this to come up on my shuffle every now and again too. i'm just sayin'.]
Will email the mp3 to you when I get home.
yesssss!
[thanks, friend.]
[i love love love hearing you lead worship.]
I have been pondering on this… am about to make a post on it, but saw this post and decided to stop here with it first. Having been through related seasons, I promise two things: 1) each season gets better, 2) God is already there.
In your processing as you prepare for what’s next, I hope you continue to celebrate as you do so well here at your site. That is mostly the gift you give me when I visit, and I hope it continues.
So, in the meantime:
* * *
“Live it Up!”
Take time to celebrate. Celebrate your sucesses, your growth, your accomplishments. Celebrate who you are. For too long you have been too hard on yourself. Others have spilled their negative energy – their attitudes, beliefs, pain – on you. It had nothing to do with you! All along, you have been a ft to yourself and to the world.
You are a child of God. Beautiful, a delight, a joy. You do not have to try harder, be better, be perfect, or be anything you are not. Your beauty is in you, just as you are each moment. Celebrate that.
When you have success, when you accomplish something, enjoy it. Pause, reflect, rejoice. Too long you have listened to admonitions not to feel good about what you have done, lest you travel the downward road to arrogance. Celbration is a high form of praise, of gratitide to the Creator for the beauty of God’s creation. To enjoy and celebrate the good does not mean that it will be taken from you. To celebrate is to delight in the gift, to show gratitude.
Celebrate your relationships! Celebrate the lessons from the past and the love and warmth that is there today. Enjoy the beauty of others and their connections to you.
Celebrate all that is in your life. Celebrate all that is good. Celebrate you!
By: Melody Beattie
From: Recovery Devotional Bible
Application: 2nd Samuel 6:5, 14-15
I’m just getting started. I’m looking forward to all that’s in front of me over the next few years.
Well I don’t know how to answer these questions. I don’t think that I’m there yet. And I don’t think its started yet. But then again sometimes I think its all behind me. I don’t know.
Since we can’t predict the future with certainty, we can’t know what is around the next corner. Maybe be a pot of gold or a big old train rushing at us. All we can do is live in the moment , as best we can, and prepare for the future, as best we can.
Being an atheist I lack the comfort of believing that eternity with God in the heaven awaits me after I die. I would think a good test of faith is how certain are you about that.
If you are certain then nothing you can accomplish in life can match that. The best is waiting for you in the afterlife.
Love the song. Very creative music and production. Thanks for sharing it. I have added it to my library.
Ed. Thanks for your honesty… And you have a good point. Maybe not in this life, but certainly in the next… Do you wish you had that kind of certainty, though? I can’t imagine life without it…
Mandy, when my uncle Jim developed advanced cancer he knew he would not get better. His belief that we would join God, and his late wife, in Heaven did more to help him get through this trial than the medication his doctors gave him.
The question for me is what would I have to give up to have that same belief in God and Heaven? Of course my first requirement to believe God exist would be to feel his presence.
I have been told that I would have to surrender my will to God. That has never worked out for me. I refuse to surrender my will to any one else.
I’ll get back to you if I develop advanced cancer.
Funny. I’m a control-freak, too. But I don’t think God forces us to do anything.
I pray it won’t take cancer for you to feel His presence, Ed…
I have lived a couple dreams now. One was being a teacher, which I prepared for most of my growing up. It was a good season. Then I became a stay at home mom and that definitely is the best job I’ve had. My kids will be off to school full time in a couple years and who knows what, but one thing I do know is God goes with me. And just as he has delivered in the past he will in the future.
My life has only gotten better and I doubt with God it would go any other way.
I have so been where you are right now, Mandy. I remember very well the “who knows”. I graduated seminary in Dec ’06. In January, I was laid-off at the church that my wife and I had attended for 3 years while at seminary. The same church that I had done two years of internship at. I was devastated. I struggled to find a job and when I finally did, I was laid off after only 4 days. Three months later, God placed me in a wonderful loving church.
I say this not to discourage you but to let you know that God is in control and He already knows the steps that you are going to take. He is already preparing a place for you, but know that sometimes He as to prepare us for a place as well.
My advice – Hang on, dig in, chain yourself to the knowledge (whatever it takes) that “It’s not about You…It’s about Him!” I would not be the person, the pastor, the worship leader, the husband that I am today without the journey that I went on.
“Blessed be Your name when the sun’s shining down on me, when the world’s all as it should be…on the road marked with suffering, Though there’s pain in the offering – Blessed be Your Name!”
I don’t know how to answer this question. (Although that has not stopped me from clicking over to comment!) Like Alece, I find myself often believing the lie that my best is behind me. That I peaked in high school and early college. That maybe I’ll never get anywhere.
But I know that’s not true. What I’m trying to learn now is that while it’s good to look forward to what God has planned for my future, I shouldn’t ignore or wish away the gift of my present.
All that to say, I think I’ve “gotten started” many times in my life. I think that I’ve had many journeys already. And I think, pray, hope that there are many more starts and journeys to come.
Will: Thanks for stopping by… And for that post-seminary no-job encouragement! I hope we won’t need it, but the job market in non-profits and churches is hurting right now… I’ll keep your words in mind.
Mary: HEY! I LOVE that you’re still leaving a heart-felt and thought-out comment, even though you don’t know what to say.
makes me smile. I heart comments, but only because I heart hearing from y’all.
The pastor of our little church plant is my former worship leader. The day he and his wife drove their u-haul down my driveway towards Ohio, I thought my days of being part of an authentic worship team were long gone (not to mention my dear friends). Fast forward 2 years, tonight is praise team practice at my house (YAY!), and I’m so excited about what God has in store for us that I can hardly stand it. I’m actually giddy! If I can figure out how to put a track from the CD we made on my blog, I’ll let you know. Or, if you shoot me an email with your mailing address, I’ll send you a copy. It’s good (if I do say so myself).
That was a wicked awesome clip, btw. Feeling the presence of God when we worship him — not too much that can compete with that! You and I have similar voices, except that yours is much better than mine!
You are just starting.
God is stirring the water, the ripples are gaining strength and His embrace larger around you as you brace for change.
And then there’s my husband’s beautiful tenor and what is even more touching about this post is that the person who was most likely standing at the mixing board drinking his coffee and striving for the best mix has said goodbye to his love this morning and is still hopeful that it’s not over….. the realization that God is sovereign…..
“When did you get started? Are you there yet? Or is it all behind you?”
My starting over had to start over.
You’re never there until you’re there.
And when “there” becomes “here”, there will be another.
Only yesterday is behind you.
And only tomorrow awaits you.
I’ve finally got a mission that I’ve promised I’ll complete. (Paraphrase from Audio Adrenaline’s song Hands and Feet)
a bit of each