Who said Rihanna and Kanye SHOULD be role models?
I heard on the news last week that one of Rihanna’s corporate sponsors is considering dropping her as she’s being seen as an unfit “role model.”
When I heard this, I had to laugh. Not because of all the drama transpiring between Kanye and Rihanna, but because of the public outcry at their misbehavior.
Of course, this exchange of violence should not to be applauded or supported.
Of course, the whole story is being spread all over the news.
Of course, so many young men and women “look up” to these two stars, and are paying close attention to their actions.
Of course, the world is watching their private lives fall apart.
And of course, as they pursued careers as entertainers, they signed up for inordinate attention.
BUT, did they ask to be designated as today’s role models?
…or is this the unfortunate consequence of a culture that worships celebrities?
Why is it that if we ask a group of ten-year-olds who they want to be when they grow up, the “firemen and police officers and mommies and presidents and doctors” have given way to “movie stars and pop stars and TV stars?”
When did the celebrity become the new American hero?
I call it the “lazy generation”. Had to happen somewhere in the late 80’s, early 90’s.
Fitting enough, I had this conversation with my 7 year old yesterday.
Me: What do ya wanna be when you grow up?
Gabe: Football player
Me: Anything else, in case that doesn’t work out?
Gabe: Well, no, they work too hard….How bout a singer cuz they just make lots of money and don’t do much.
I am confident he didn’t get that from home….Speaks volumes about this generation.
.
I have some work to do
I think it was the inventions of recordable media and Elvis.
Ric: I think there’s something there…
But, if the emphasis is on mass-media, why weren’t highly distributed authors the heroes before radio/audio/video came into play? Or were they?
This touch a chord with me this morning. I have two teenagers and a eight year old. If you ask my Isaac (8) he would tell you a CSI agent.
But if you would ask my teenagers it would be what they don’t have. ouch!
Both my Col and Elij want cars, money, notority, something that would allow them to stand out in the crowd of the ordinaries.
They don’t wear hear, you’ll have to wait. They want instant glory.
Because being ordinary, (as of yet) hasn’t been fulfilling yet for them , again ouch!
Mass media, gives us a false hope and then when people show there true lives, ordinary. We place blame, and loose hope.. shame… When all along they were looking for the same thing and beause we glamorized and celebrated their talent instead of their ordinariness, they became hollow and brittle. Then they lost hope.
I pray all the time, that my kids find Hope in themselves FIRST. Because a true role model is someone whom is ordinary.
Personally, I’ve never looked up to any celebrities. The one that really gets me is when 8-year-old girls say they want to “be a rock star like Hannah Montana.” Just makes me sad. However, I did find some hope when I interviewed a little 6-year-old girl for a class and that what do you want to be when get older question came up. She said a mommy. There’s hope!
I honestly don’t know how I’d handle being a parent in this day & age… I know every “age” has its own issues, but there’s so much info and influence flying around the airwaves that we’d basically have to isolate our children to protect them. That is not possible (or healthy) so I guess parents and churches (and the like) have to work extra hard to counter-act the culture around us… Bringing other “role models” into the mix, offering alternative ways of thinking, teaching at a very young age that we don’t always have to do what everyone else is doing.
That’s a hard calling in life.
But a noble one.
And a necessary one.
I’m fairly certain it was BEFORE Angelina Jolie started adopting children from third world countries.
I think it is sad that people are judging her and saying she is now “unfit” to be anything. I have (I think) only heard or can recognize 2 songs, but she is way popular, right? I have no idea about any of Kanyes music or what you are talking about (why he is mentioned here)…but why in the world are “we” the judge and jury of people when (at least for me) my life could use a little support and love. Maybe she needs some love and guidance rather then scrutiny and shame. It really irritates me how quick we all are to tell people their value based on their decisions. I think I read that she is 19 or 20. I know I had not a clue what “life” was all about at that tender age. Shoot, I am almost 20 plus 11 and I still don’t.
Kristi: I really appreciate your thoughts and perspective, and you bring up a good point here: that they, like everyone else, need to be loved and not judged. I hope that my words weren’t interpreted that I’m pointing fingers at Rihanna and Kanye. My intentions were to point fingers at the culture that surrounds us – the culture that set the up on a high pedestal and stood back to watch them fall.
Well, I think Shakespeare and Samuel Clemons were each pretty popular in their day within their genre and locale. Composers and their choice musicians were pretty popular as well. But again, more locally. Technology has made the world a stage.
I can’t tell you anything about their music. However, what was reported in the news is that they are apparently in a relationship together and he, for lack of a better term, beat her up and I believe sent her to the hospital.
To the original question, the truth is children will process what they know of the people and the lives of the people, which they are exposed to. My job is to be the parent. If I don’t think someone or something represents an ideal that my child should embrace, then as the parent, I must stop or limit the exposure my child has to that person, idea or activity. When the inevitable happens and my child is confronted with something that I deem unfit, then I must teach and inform.
Is it possible that those who are screaming the loudest about appropriate role models in the entertainment or sports world or else where have relegated the job of parenting their kids to others? Or worse still, maybe they have neglected it all together?
I’m not trying to throw stones and yes I have failed at points in my diligence with parenting my child, but in the end it is my responsibility. Not the village, not the school system, not the government or music, movie or sports stars, etc. Long answer made short, No they Should not be role models, at least not for my child.
Critzpastor: Thank you for joining in this discussion… I think the Church can and should address parenting/culture/role models. I’m not a parent, but I’m a mentor – and I’ve been a “role model” for many young women… My heart is to apologize to them for the bad example I’ve set and still continue to set. I have no idea the pain and struggle that goes into being a parent.
I think I’d be overwhelmed with fear and humility.
You raise a good question, Mandy. But one thing – Kanye is not the one who beat Rhianna. That was Chris Brown. Kanye, on the other hand, is being charged for some bad behavior at an airport last Sept. 11.
I think these celebs need babysitters or something!
HA!! No wonder we’re all so tired of this. Who did what to who? And why?
Thank you Mary!
we lift them up (we being the media and the people who eat it all up)
then we tear them down.
one wrong move and theyre toast.
i think the part of us that elevates these people is the part that would love to walk a day in their shoes. envy. stuff like that.
the part of us that tears them down is the part that secretly wants them to fail…out of our own jealousy. envy. stuff like that.
im not speaking for me or any one here by saying “us”…but if you happen to fall into this description, then, i am.
this reminds me of an article i saw recently on espn that was addressed to pro athletes regarding the fact that though they might not have directly CHOSEN to be role models, they are and they need to own up to that.
it’s a sad truth that our culture expects celebrities to be superhuman. then we are outraged when they fail to be.
Wow. That’s a strong article.
And I don’t know if I’d agree. I think forcing celebs to be held to a higher standard will only perpetuate the notion that they should be followed.
When, in fact, I’m gonna argue that most of them shouldn’t (and an even greater number probably don’t want to be) emulated.
Any celebs out there??? Do you want to be a role model? Do you want to be viewed as an exemplary citizen? Hello….?
I agree with you. It’s a vicious cycle that needs to end.
Here’s the article: http://sports.espn.go.com/espnmag/story?id=3930609
I think the example the writer uses is a little different than what his concluding statement implies.
I need to check out that article. Interested in his view.
When I see faces on magazines in the checkout line at the grocery store, I have no idea who they are. So this is the first time I’ve ever heard of Rayna and Kane.
I simply can’t help but ask, since you’re a writer: Did you intentionally misspell their names?
Of course.
What the honk? That’s not what I was implying…
I was trying to say that soooo many (but one in particular) times in my life people have “told” me what I am worth based on my decisions and not based on truth. I think we are saying the same thing. Sorry Mandy. I didn’t mean to get all whatever.
It is dark here (night time), so I am confused. Please forgive me.
HAHA! I’m trying not to laugh at work. sshhh… I can hear you in my head saying “what the honk!?” HAHAHAHA!!!!
yes. We are saying the same thing. I know you. Know your heart. But some crazy honking lurkers might’ve read into both of our statements the wrong way. So I was aiming for clarity. You gave it.
I puffy heart you.
Now go turn on a light. xxoo
Your mom’s a lurker.
SHH!!! You weren’t supposed to tell anyone. TAMMIT
did someone call me???
Stop making me laugh, I’m in class!! shhhh.
Your mom calls me.
my mom calls you what?
Mojhito.
I don’t think expecting people, whether they are celebrities or not, to act in a halfway decent manner, is “holding them to a higher standard” than anyone else.
IMHO, the second you step on to ANY stage of influence you need to hold yourself to a standard worthy of that realm of influence. It’s downright absurd how sheltered a lot of these celebrities are from the realities of life and how warped their perspectives are because of fame and fortune.
They think they can get away with just about anything.
Are they human? Yes. Do they need to be allowed to be human and make mistakes? Yes.
Should they face the SAME consequences that normal joes like me face if I screw up? Yes.
The difference is when they screw up they do it on a stage of so much more influence and the ramifications of that are what makes them “role models” by default. They have no choice in the matter.
If I step onto a stage of influence, I AM A ROLE MODEL. Good, bad, or ugly. Role model doesn’t just mean someone who exemplifies good character qualities.
Dictionary.com says a role model is a person whose behavior, example, or success is or can be emulated by others, esp. by younger people.
That INCLUDES bad behavior. So YES, they are role models whether we or they want them to be or not.
Russ:
I understand what you’re saying. That they should recognize the level influence that they have. But my question is still the same: Why are celebrities seen as role models to begin with? If you think about it, news reporters have huge exposure… Paper columnists… Teachers, even have a high level of exposure in young lives.
But there’s something about our culture that says the greatest thing in life is to have a mic in front of your face or to be plastered on the big screen.
WHY is that?
Why do today’s kids think that’s the ultimate?
Why is the stage that they’re on so disproportionately influential?
Is it really that disproportionately influential?
Let a news reporter do some of the stupid things celebrities do and I’m sure they’ll be looking for a job the next morning.
Let a columnist write something stupid or do something stupid that offends a large group of people and I’m sure they’ll be filling out crossword puzzles in the same magazine or newspaper they used to work for.
Let a teacher do something stupid, especially when a child is involved, and they’re gone.
Consequences are consequences, and because of the DIFFERENT levels of perceived (maybe that’s key) influence there are going to be different levels of perceived consequences.
I don’t disagree that it seems like celebrities and athletes are on an otherworldy level when it comes to their “influence.”
But I go back to my original point. EVERYONE is a role model. Why? Because someone at some point is looking at your life.
Role model doesn’t mean “I’m a great person with wonderful character traits and non-existent flaws.” Role model means “I’m in front of someone and because of that fact I can be emulated.” Be it good, be it bad, be it ugly.
Everyone is a role model. Those who think they can shun the “role” of role model are only fooling themselves.
I would also say that the onus of responsibility in this situation needs to be equally shared by the role models and the emulators.
One of the reasons, I believe, that it appears to be such a skewed situation is because the emulators have just as little character as the people they are emulating. Put a lousy role model and a lousy joe emulating and idolizing them and you’ve got a society full of lousiness.
I think you and I might be making two different points.
Yes. Everyone is some sort of “role model” if someone else is looking up to them.
In terms of disproportion, my emphasis is on how many kids would rather look up to a pop singer than a teacher.
…how many boys would rather be Ryan Seacrest than Tom Brokaw.
…how many young girls want to be Beyonce Knowles rather than Mother Theresa.
Maybe it’s just me, but I think things are a little off.
I think dictionary.com’s definition further highlights my frustration, by putting the cart before the horse.
Role models shouldn’t be defined by whether or not others are following them.
They should be defined by whether or not they are worth following.
That’s where I think you’re trying to squeeze a square peg into a round hole.
Role model does not equal good role model.
And a model doesn’t mean someone who looks good. A good-looking model looks good. A hand model may not. A model is a model.
A role model is one who models a role (neither good nor bad). It’s the descriptive word in front of role model that we should focus more on.
I want to be a good role model. He’s such a bad role model…etc.
And, I do agree that things seem to be skewed in the amount of influence celebrities have as opposed to say a music and media coordinator like me.
But such is life. It’s always been that way. We didn’t invent celebrities in the 21st century, there have always been the rich and famous.
I think what makes them seem larger than life these days is the perceived closeness that 21st century technology gives us to them. Kids these days don’t know what it’s like to live without reality tv and “living” reality tv shows along with their celebrity idols.
Just so you know, I agree that it is sad the level of influence some of these thugs and bimbos have. But that’s where we come in. We’re ultimately responsible for our own families. When you have kids…raise them up right and you won’t have to worry.