Will we ever understand it all?
Last week y’all dumped it out here.
I asked if any of you were learning hard lessons, and dang did we get some responses.
It’s my job to fulfill, not to understand.
This one hit me hard. It’s from a comment by Gitz, who is a phenomenal woman with a heart that is even more beautiful than she is. Gitz wakes up every morning (if she’s lucky enough to get some sleep) to a debilitating disease that leaves her house-ridden. (Gitz: Is that the right phrase?)
But she hasn’t lost her faith, her hope, or her heart.
I want to take a minute and chew on what Gitz is saying…
In order to fulfill our purposes in life, do we have to understand it all?
Wow, that is so where I am at today. By nature I want to understand it all. I guess for me I have to believe that what I am going through does serve some divine purpose and that it is not just some random stressful situations and bad genetics. Will I ever understand it? No, I don’t so but I think I have to find enough understanding to keep pressing on, even when I want to give up.
Understand: to be thoroughly familiar with; apprehend clearly the character, nature, or subtleties of.
That takes too much time.
Listen and go!
To understand everything, we have to stop and think and let our biases and experiences filter in.
I will fulfill my purposes and sometimes won’t know why or how. I think I have fulfilled several of them many, many years ago and only learned what they were a few months ago.
You have fulfilled a purpose or two with words on a screen that I’m bettin’ you didn’t understand.
Keep living, keep writing, keep loving….Listen and go.
Thank you… Very encouraging to me today. Sometimes I have no idea why I put these words on a screen.
Something in me gnaws at things I don’t understand…as though, if I kept trying, I might “get it”.
And I think it might always annoy me, not to know answers in life, until I lay back and allow peace (that passes understanding) to fill me.
Becca: I think the answers sometimes come. But hardly ever do they come in ways that we want… Or even when we want…
Oh I’m so glad you made this post. Just getting familiar with Gitz’s blog and I was blown away. Glad you are connected and spreading the goodness of her heart. oxox, R
Good heavens, I’m going to go with a no. B/c if so, I don’t know that I’d be living and breathing with any ounce of joy! ‘Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.’ 1 Cor. 13:12
And if part of a purpose for suffering is that we might ‘know Him’ (Philp.), we are unable to understand it all to start.
This verse keeps coming up right now. Like in a crazy way. Like in a: I think I’m ok with what I’ve “suffered through” sort of way… Thank you for reminding me again.
(Ram: This is stemming from your comment.)
I don’t think suffering would be nearly as unbearable if we knew why we were suffering. If we knew there was a “reason” and I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask why we’re suffering… But I think sometimes we have to continue living, even when we don’t understand why.
Wow… didn’t expect to see “me” when I opened your blog! So humbled by you today.
“I don’t think suffering would be nearly as unbearable if we knew why we were suffering.”
~I don’t necessarily find that to be true. For me, it became about trust. I don’t know why I’m suffering or what good will come out of it, but I know that HE knows. And I trust Him. And that’s all the “why” I need to know. I pray a lot, too, about having a servant’s heart. I’m chewing on a post now about the fact that it’s not enough just to accept new limitations (the past few weeks I have new nerve issues that is taking this pain thing to a new level)… I can’t accept the limitations begrudgingly. Like with not being able to go outside or open a window… I can’t pout about it anymore. I need to open my curtains and decorate my patio and find joy in the sunshine that I can’t go out and be in… otherwise I’m just a pouting child saying ok but not really meaning it. I don’t want to begrudge my God, I want to rejoice in any ounce of beauty He gives me. That’s where I find my joy and understanding… just simply understanding that He wants me to trust Him. That what I have is enough. That He gives me what I need when I need it. I trust that more than I need understanding.
Your words are such a treasure in this discussion… You, more than the rest of us, have experience and wisdom and grace to bring to this.
And I think you’re right… The trusting in God is all the “why” we need sometimes, even though it might not bring a complete understanding. I can’t imagine suffering without that “why.” I don’t think it’s psychologically possible to undergo massive suffering without some sort of why. Without seeing any present tangible benefit, just the belief that God will do something good with it is, in itself, purpose enough. (Which does incredible things for people’s faith. I think James knew what he was talking about when he started his letter that way.)
But without some sort of “why,” I think people would break under the load. There’s no “reason” to endure. How can they bear under pointless, ceaseless agony? Why would they want to?
I’m so glad we have “why’s” to hold on to… I’m so thankful, even if it just is a quiet trust.
I understand what you mean now, reading this, and I so agree. We may not get the concrete, definite-answer to the why, but when we know that there IS a why… there is a greater purpose, even if we don’t know what it is… there is a reason to keep moving forward.
I don’t think I understood what you meant when I wrote my response, but I totally get that. And it’s absolutely what keeps me moving forward… trusting that there is a why, that He knows it, and that the more I rest in that, the better off I am spiritually and mentally. And while it sounds crazy, knowing my physical situation, I wouldn’t trade the peace in my heart and my spirit for less pain in my body. Fulfilling rather than fighting is just a better way to live, regardless of the circumstances.
Who am I kidding? I was no where NEAR clear in what I was saying the first time… LOL. ah the joys of trying to quickly type out a deep and ill-formed thought.
And, yes, it does sound crazy. But it also sounds EXACTLY like the Gitz we all love. You’re an amazing woman with an amazing story. Girl, preach it!
You were probably clear… I’m just on enough pain killers I should have read it twice.
And I appreciate you valuing my opinion… but while my circumstances are a little crazy, I don’t think I’m doing anything more or less than anyone else. I’m just trying to live the best life I can with what I’m given. And the more complicated life gets for me, the more simple my faith has become. When everything gets stripped away from you and leaves you with nothing but the ability to trust or lay down and die within, trust becomes so essential… and it becomes easier. It really does. I’m not saying I don’t have a hard road. I do, and it’s getting harder. But I’ve also been given more blessings that I can hold.
You mentioned your faith growing, and your trust being stronger. But, tell us about your other blessings – the things that are too much for you to hold. I wanna hear more from your perspective!
oh my gosh, so much.
first, i was blessed that i got to do things before i got too sick. i wrote for a magazine. i sang all the time, which i’m so grateful for now. i was able to establish real relationships with all my nieces and nephews before i stopped being able to travel to see them. i was in plays and musicals. i was still well enough to be at hospice with my best friend as her daughter died, and was able to sing at her funeral. i was able to really live life with people.
now that things have progressed and i’m homebound and not very functional, i’m forging a better relationship with my parents. i am blessed to be approved for disability and have a waiver so others can shop for me and clean my home. i have a home. i have this ridiculous dog that makes me laugh when there’s nothing to laugh about. i have friends who let me love their kids like they were my own. they have faith sharing at my house so i don’t miss out. they all bought skype cameras so i can see them and their kids when they have colds and i can’t be near them. i have neighbors who stop by to see if i need my garbage taken out or bring my honeycombs because they saw me mention that i like them on the blog.
i’m never going to be able to go outside again or open a window, but i found all of you on these blogs and on twitter. i’m secluded but not alone. i have good doctors now who are doing everything they can for me. i decided to sell my canvases and i had so many friends call and ask what i needed… did i need them to run to buy canvases or help me organize my closets to store things? my friend susie videotapes her husband’s band gigs so i can watch them and celebrate the fun with them. my brother videotaped my aunt’s funeral when i could be there so i could watch and process her death. they still included me by playing my recording of Breath of Heaven at her funeral so it would be like i was there. kindness and blessings abound.
and in all of my losses, i am able to give. i can’t go out, so i gave away my coats. i can’t go out, so my friend got my dresses and shoes and fun jewelry. i can’t drive so my nephew is getting my car. i am blessed and able to bless in return. it’s almost more than i can hold.
That what I have is enough. That He gives me what I need when I need it. I trust that more than I need understanding.
wow, gitz. so eloquently and sweetly spoken. you have a precious heart, lady.
you’re awfully nice. thanks.
It is human nature to ask why. I just don’t think it’s possible to know everything. The human brain is a miraculous piece of engineering, but it does have it’s limitations. It is also interesting to me that we often ask why when bad things happen to us, but rarely ask why when good things do.
Searching for why something happened can be constructive if it helps us reinforce positive behavior, or correct mistakes of the past. It is not a good thing if at some point we can’t accept there are limitations to our ability to understand.
That is where the trust Gitz wrote about comes in. We need to learn from the past, not live in it. We need to accept some limitations so we can get on with life.
It I was offered the opportunity to know everything, I would turn it down. It’s the mysteries that make life interesting.
I guess I am learning that is why faith is so important. Even when life throws us a curve ball and circumstances get rough some time,it has to be faith that keeps us going. I don’t think I could face what I am facing without faith that God’s timing is perfect. I have to trust that God is still good regardless of how I feel or I wouldn’t be able to make it though each day.
That’s it right there. That’s the “why” that Gitz and I are talking about up there in that string… Glad you’ve got something to hold on to right now. Stay strong, Angela.
I just want to say I love what Gitz wrote : ‘fulfilling rather than fighting is a better way to live’
Very true. Of course, sometimes fulfilling will involve some fighting…but it’s a good fight (with/for God), not against Him.
We won’t understand it all. That’s why His ways are higher than ours.
Hey – I like the header you have up there right now!
As for your question, it’s just not possible for us to understand it all. So I hope it’s not necessary for us to fulfill our purpose. God is so very big. And part of what makes Him big (in my eyes) is the fact that I can’t understand it all. So, even though not understanding often drives me CRAZY, I’m thankful for it at the same time.
Thank you for this, Miss Mandy! And Gitz!!!!!
I love reading your thoughts, Gitz, because when I’m feeling sorry for myself, you always have the words to say to lift my spirits.
You suffer well. I know that’s strange to say, but honestly, it’s what we’ve been called to do. In suffering we become more and more like Him, as we submit to His will for our lives.
Your spirit is a blessing to see and your words are encouragement for me. Love you, Sweet Thang!!!
And again, thanks Mandy, I really needed to read this today.
GITZ AND MICHELLE:
Red, I’m so glad you stopped by.
Thank you to both of you!
GITZ: Wow.
You know – I’m most excited about you selling your canvases as well… I’m excited FOR YOU, because I know the blessing you’ll receive will be tremendous. You’re gonna be a professional artist. And we both know THAT is what I aspire to be as well!! I’m so excited for that little bit of extra income that you’ll receive, and for the exposure of your story to the world.
You are an amazing woman. How many times have I said it? not enough!
xxoo
No, we don’t understand everything.
Some of the things that have happened in the past, we only get to understand in the future.
But I think we need to TRY to understand, so we would know there is meaning to what we are doing. Getting a glimpse of the whole picture, however small, is better than seeing nothing at all.
Understanding what we are doing, and why we are doing it, would give us the strength to go on despite the odds.
a friend recently told me she feels God whispering “are you willing?” and she’s struggling with it. willing to… WHAT?! she doesn’t know. keeps asking. is waiting to hear. i told her maybe God keeps asking simply “are you willing?” because He just wants to know if she’s willing to do ANYTHING He asks. or does she need to know exactly what she wants before she agrees.
i think He waits for all of us to be blank-check-willing.