i think He waits for all of us to be blank-check-willing.

Some of the things that have happened in the past, we only get to understand in the future.

But I think we need to TRY to understand, so we would know there is meaning to what we are doing. Getting a glimpse of the whole picture, however small, is better than seeing nothing at all.

Understanding what we are doing, and why we are doing it, would give us the strength to go on despite the odds.

GITZ: Wow.
You know – I’m most excited about you selling your canvases as well… I’m excited FOR YOU, because I know the blessing you’ll receive will be tremendous. You’re gonna be a professional artist. And we both know THAT is what I aspire to be as well!! I’m so excited for that little bit of extra income that you’ll receive, and for the exposure of your story to the world.
You are an amazing woman. How many times have I said it? not enough!
xxoo

I love reading your thoughts, Gitz, because when I’m feeling sorry for myself, you always have the words to say to lift my spirits.

You suffer well. I know that’s strange to say, but honestly, it’s what we’ve been called to do. In suffering we become more and more like Him, as we submit to His will for our lives.

Your spirit is a blessing to see and your words are encouragement for me. Love you, Sweet Thang!!!

And again, thanks Mandy, I really needed to read this today.

first, i was blessed that i got to do things before i got too sick. i wrote for a magazine. i sang all the time, which i’m so grateful for now. i was able to establish real relationships with all my nieces and nephews before i stopped being able to travel to see them. i was in plays and musicals. i was still well enough to be at hospice with my best friend as her daughter died, and was able to sing at her funeral. i was able to really live life with people.

now that things have progressed and i’m homebound and not very functional, i’m forging a better relationship with my parents. i am blessed to be approved for disability and have a waiver so others can shop for me and clean my home. i have a home. i have this ridiculous dog that makes me laugh when there’s nothing to laugh about. i have friends who let me love their kids like they were my own. they have faith sharing at my house so i don’t miss out. they all bought skype cameras so i can see them and their kids when they have colds and i can’t be near them. i have neighbors who stop by to see if i need my garbage taken out or bring my honeycombs because they saw me mention that i like them on the blog.

i’m never going to be able to go outside again or open a window, but i found all of you on these blogs and on twitter. i’m secluded but not alone. i have good doctors now who are doing everything they can for me. i decided to sell my canvases and i had so many friends call and ask what i needed… did i need them to run to buy canvases or help me organize my closets to store things? my friend susie videotapes her husband’s band gigs so i can watch them and celebrate the fun with them. my brother videotaped my aunt’s funeral when i could be there so i could watch and process her death. they still included me by playing my recording of Breath of Heaven at her funeral so it would be like i was there. kindness and blessings abound.

and in all of my losses, i am able to give. i can’t go out, so i gave away my coats. i can’t go out, so my friend got my dresses and shoes and fun jewelry. i can’t drive so my nephew is getting my car. i am blessed and able to bless in return. it’s almost more than i can hold.

As for your question, it’s just not possible for us to understand it all. So I hope it’s not necessary for us to fulfill our purpose. God is so very big. And part of what makes Him big (in my eyes) is the fact that I can’t understand it all. So, even though not understanding often drives me CRAZY, I’m thankful for it at the same time.