Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Police!
Police WHO?
Police stop telling all these stupid knock knock jokes.
(snort snort)
Let’s tell jokes today. The above will suffice as a prime example of why I’M not the one telling all the jokes around here.
Ok. GO.
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Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Yo momma.
Yo momma, who?
Seriously, it’s yo momma, open the dang door!
Oh boy. It’s gonna be a long Saturday…
Knock Knock!!
Who’s there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrup—
MOOOO!
So this priest walks up to a woman on the street corner and says,
“Young lady, what would your mother say if she saw you on this corner?”
And the girl answers,
“Oh she’d kill me! This is HER corner!”
HA!
You need to stop it right now.
Your mom needs to stop it.
What’s the kind of cheese that isn’t yours?
Give up?
Nacho cheese.
It’s Saturday?! What would I do without blogs to tell me what day it is?
I’m no good at jokes. At. All.
so i don’t tell jokes, i just laugh at them. =)
just wanted to say hi.
hi.
HI!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Dwayne.
Dawyne who?
Dwayne the bathtub! I’m drowning!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
The.
The who?
[Insert creepy music here.]
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Eisenhower.
Eisenhower who?
Eisenhower late!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
B. A.
B. A. who?
B. A. Pepper!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Parkay.
Parkay who?
Parkay-ing tonight?
Shoot me now. Please.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Surely.
“Shirley, you can’t be serious!”
“I am serious. And don’t call me Shirley.”
Ahhh… classic line
aaahahahaha! LOVE that movie!
Want to have some fun?
Walk into an antique shop and say, “What’s new?”
<And now for something we hope you’ll really like!
Headlines!
“Chef Puts His Heart Into Helping Feed The Hungry”
“Iraqi Head Seeks Arms”
“Global Warming Linked to Temperatures”
“Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers”
“Jet Crashes; ‘Something Went Wrong’ Says Expert”
And now the coup de grace…
“Typhoon Tears Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead”
“Thank you! Thank you all very much! But I ACTUALLY SERIOUSLY LITERALLY must be going now!”
Dude. When you show up you go NUTS!
Hope you’re having a great weekend.
What did the one strawberry say to the other?
If we hadn’t been in the same bed together, we wouldn’t be in this jam.
My one and only lonely joke. : D
What do you call a cow that just had a calf?
Decaffeinated.
For me J-R has had the best so far.
Finally, the good-natured boss was compelled to call Smith into his office.
“It has not escaped my attention,” he pointed out, “that every time there’s a home game at the stadium, you have to take your aunt to the doctor.”
“You know you’re right, sir,” exclaimed Smith. “I didn’t realize it till now. You don’t suppose she’s faking, do you?”
<B
why thank ya! always like to keep it clean
hehe! that’s a funny one.
What did the snail say while on the turtle’s back?
…..
“WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!” (you have to say/read that part in a really high pitched voice)
ya know, cause for a snail, a turtle is reallllly fast!
HAHAHAH!!! I’m glad you explained. I didn’t quite get that one!
What is brown and green and if it falls out of a tree on top of you it will kill you?
A Pool Table.
[i can never remember jokes.]