So. About three weeks ago (blame it on the cough meds then) I wrote this song. That morning, I think I stayed home sick or something… And started thinking about how my mind works – active – awake – alive, and about how weird you’d think it was if you spent some time in my mind… And then started thinking that if I spent time in your head, I’d probably think the same about your mind…
Then I started writing. “If you climb inside this piece of mind…” I knew it wouldn’t work without a big production, just to bring the feel of hypnotic weird psychedelic mystery. And, I also wanted to find some of the weirdest sounds possible and add them in. So I’ve been chipping away at this one for a few weeks, just for you! 
(Your best experience will be had with earphones or full speakers. Your computer speakers won’t bring the fullness to your ears.)
If you climb inside this piece of mind,
let me tell you what you’d find:
Oh I know… It’s a world awake.So jump on board and take this ride
to places otherwise unkind
& you’ll find a world awake.If you see this You won’t believe your eyes.
If you see this you might change your mind.
A world awake. A world awake.Softly sifting memories
composing little secret dreams.
Keep walking through a world awake.Sunset singing melodies
and whispering. Keep listening.
You’re finding a world awake.
Hi. I have nothing important to say. Because it’s late. And I’m tired.
I just wanted the first comment.
Well, then, ya got it!
…owl hooting outside my window at 3am… wide awake… very frustrating…
Love coming to your site at any hour for a pick me up. This song was awesome!
xoxox,
R
Perfect song for your wide awake night!
Wow. I love the big heavy intro…and then was kinda of thrown off by the synth stuff. I love the concept. Not so sure it’s “finished” though.
Keep pushing this one. It is a diamond! Might have to chisel away at it a little more though! Just my 2 cents.
Thanks for the feedback, Russ… So, if I want it to be slightly “strange” in tone, how can I keep the weird stuff (ie: synths) but not jolt listeners? Have it in there, but make it more smooth??
Wait! I have an idea!
I have to agree with Russ that the intro comes in rocking hard and the synth feels out of place. You might consider adding in a bunch of the echo & reverb effects to the guitar to fade into the synth stuff to give it some flow.
Also: with headphones (how I listen to stuff in my office) the intro guitar is panned too hard to the left for my taste.
Keep it going though: like Russ said this is a diamond, it just needs some shaping.
I couldn’t figure out how to convert the song to where I could download, burn and listen to it (simply to help in the feedback process of course), but I did listen to it on headphones on the ‘puter and I have the following suggestions (remember I’m a layman on mixing and have never tweaked knobs myself so if you’ve got a pro doing that then just take it with a grain of salt):
I think your main vocal needs to come up a bit and not get too lost with the music in the first two-thirds of the song.
As far as the synths, I like them in general. You might need to knock out a track or two of them but don’t do away with them completely.
Overall I love the concept and its grittiness. I’m from the arena rock school of thought for the most part in so I latch on to those concepts any time I hear them; i.e., strong resonating chords, reverb on vocals, simply anything that will sound good in a big auditorium or outdoor venue).
Crank your chords up a bit too; not to metal strength but just enough to latch on and grab your listener.
Is this making any sense?
Thanks for asking for my feedback. Remember it is worth the price you pay for it, but it is indeed a privilege to offer it.
On a second listen on speakers, I’m talking about your main vocal isn’t buried everywhere, just a few spots, and by chords I mean those intermittent bursts.
Thanks y’all… To answer any questions, I don’t have anyone working to mix this for me. It’s all in my head/ears.
I think holding the electric out in the intro, to create a foundation for the synths, will work beautifully.
And mixing my vocals up a bit is a great idea. Change the pan of the dirty electric, crank the bursting chords in the choruses. Thanks y’all!
I really like the music, background singing, and the lyrics. You are showing a lot of creativity, and artistic courage, by trying different musical genres.
I do agree with Paul, that there was something about the way your sang the first two verses that seemed a little off. Sorry for not being able to explain myself better.
12 comments and 5 of them are yours.
You’re slipping, Mandy!
Who isn’t slipping these days??
“If you could read my mind, love,
What a tale my thoughts could tell…”
Gordon Lightfoot 1968 – a little before your time
Great song nonetheless.
<B
Thanks!!!
I’m not slipping. I’m sliding away. But it was all that time I spent running away…err…I mean, travelling. And plus, I have to say that. Say something. You know…
Because I don’t Twitter!
It’s my secret theory that twitter is taking over blogging… sshhh… Don’t tell anyone.
But I’ve gotta keep mine going, because I love the people, contacts, and creativity too much. It may “slip” but we’re not done yet!
i love the lyrics on this one…
…what is it that grabs you?
the imagery of climbing inside this piece of mind… the way it makes me think “piece of my mind” and “peace of mind” all rolled into one… how it might change someone’s mind about me if they could see inside me…
Yes. Exactly. That’s exactly why I wrote it. And the duality of Piece and Peace is SO there!
Glad you caught it.