I really like this song, Mandy!
I love the steady build, the haunting feel, the minor chords, the hand claps…all so nicely done. Good stuff.
Can I offer 2 constructive thoughts? I know you didn’t ask for any, but I just have 2 ideas to play with…
1) maybe putting a measure or two in between verses? I thought verse 2 was a continuation of verse one (because of the rhyme) and I was thrown off for a second by the repetition until I realized it was another verse. I think an extra measure or two would fix that and give the listener a moment to sit with the sadness of the stanza before moving on.
2) maybe trying the whole song in the 1st person. It would change the song into a kind of confession: “this is who i am. this is what i’ve done. i’m blowing this 2 bit town, leaving it all behind, and i’m going to have some fun while i burn.”
feel free to ignore me because I really do like the song as is. I know that once I go to the trouble of recording something, it means I’m done editing. And I don’t think this song really needs anything changed. Like I said, just some thoughts to play with. Congrats on the 50 mark!!!
Thanks Robin! Luckily, I’m hoping to do some re-writing next year, and I’ll go back through – pick my favorites – then check blog comments for feedback, and go from there.
One thing though, I’m singing this with the 12-bar blues pattern, so I don’t have any idea what slipping a few extra measures between the verses would do. This is my 3rd attempt at a blues song, so I’m still playing by the rules. But I get what you’re saying – the verses don’t have a break. Need to study other blues writers to see how they pull it off!
Blues clearly isn’t my area of expertise at all, but I think the crisp stop idea will work really well regardless of the genre
The loop you’ve got going on this makes me think of Suzanne Vega, but the song, obviously, doesn’t sound anything like her. I like that dichotomy in my mind as I listen.
And as Russ said – congratulations! Amazing achievement.
That sounds like a good idea. I’d really like to hear that! And I think it’s an amazing idea to spend a year writing and then another year going back over what you’ve written and editing songs once you have some distance from them. It’s probably a little crazy to sit and stew over songs until they’re absolutely perfect, especially when you have such a large goal at hand. Waiting a bit to edit probably makes for better edits. I should remember that next time I’m annoyed at a song for not perfecting itself right away. : o ) Thanks for the tip.
i really like the creativity in all the different parts and stuff in the production. it’s really good. i don’t have any cool equipment like that. and even if i did, i’m not sure how creative i’d be with it.
Emotion. Thanks, Ed! I think I posted a while back that my heart went through the ringer when I recorded in Oregon. Singing back through the emotion of each song was a heavy and difficult process. I was emotionally worn out. And that’s when I realized how much of my heart went into each song. It was eye-opening.
I like it. Very different than most of your music I’ve heard so far. And I’m intrigued by the fact that you’re not just writing songs about different topics or with different sounds, but completely different styles. I don’t think I’m really saying that right. But I love what you’re doing – way to go hitting #50!!
Even if the story is somewhat of a downer (but then most blues songs are i guess huh?) i think the song could be a winner.
I’m a little uncertain about your vocals though?
To me they sound a little to ‘soft’, too ‘considered’?
I note you used the ‘angry’ tag – but the singer does not sound all that angry? Is that by any chance due to where you recorded it and consideration of neighbours etc??
i thik it would sound better if you really got angry and ‘let ‘er rip’ as we say in the Antipodes
yes. My singing is HIGHLY constrained by neighbors. This wasn’t an attempt at an album-worthy performance. Just enough of a sketch for me to have the general idea. When I present these songs, I present them as “written” not as “performed” – there’s a significant difference, which you are picking up on. I think you’ll hear the difference in my songs on the upcoming CD. You’ll hear me sing as I LONG to sing… Finally.
Wow, 50 songs! that’s crazy lots! Anyway, feedback – TOTALLY LOVE this song – To be honest I haven’t heard a single song of yours I didn’t like! but yeah, REALLY like this one
and THAT is why I’m your fan club president.
anyone else want to join? http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=86749752742
Congrats!! What an accomplishment! Keep up the good work!
I really like this song, Mandy!
I love the steady build, the haunting feel, the minor chords, the hand claps…all so nicely done. Good stuff.
Can I offer 2 constructive thoughts? I know you didn’t ask for any, but I just have 2 ideas to play with…
1) maybe putting a measure or two in between verses? I thought verse 2 was a continuation of verse one (because of the rhyme) and I was thrown off for a second by the repetition until I realized it was another verse. I think an extra measure or two would fix that and give the listener a moment to sit with the sadness of the stanza before moving on.
2) maybe trying the whole song in the 1st person. It would change the song into a kind of confession: “this is who i am. this is what i’ve done. i’m blowing this 2 bit town, leaving it all behind, and i’m going to have some fun while i burn.”
feel free to ignore me because I really do like the song as is. I know that once I go to the trouble of recording something, it means I’m done editing. And I don’t think this song really needs anything changed. Like I said, just some thoughts to play with. Congrats on the 50 mark!!!
Thanks Robin! Luckily, I’m hoping to do some re-writing next year, and I’ll go back through – pick my favorites – then check blog comments for feedback, and go from there.
One thing though, I’m singing this with the 12-bar blues pattern, so I don’t have any idea what slipping a few extra measures between the verses would do. This is my 3rd attempt at a blues song, so I’m still playing by the rules. But I get what you’re saying – the verses don’t have a break. Need to study other blues writers to see how they pull it off!
I’ve got it! I can put a quick, crisp STOP at the beginning of each verse. That’ll indicate that there’s a break and a new one is starting!
Blues clearly isn’t my area of expertise at all, but I think the crisp stop idea will work really well regardless of the genre
The loop you’ve got going on this makes me think of Suzanne Vega, but the song, obviously, doesn’t sound anything like her. I like that dichotomy in my mind as I listen.
And as Russ said – congratulations! Amazing achievement.
That sounds like a good idea. I’d really like to hear that! And I think it’s an amazing idea to spend a year writing and then another year going back over what you’ve written and editing songs once you have some distance from them. It’s probably a little crazy to sit and stew over songs until they’re absolutely perfect, especially when you have such a large goal at hand. Waiting a bit to edit probably makes for better edits. I should remember that next time I’m annoyed at a song for not perfecting itself right away. : o ) Thanks for the tip.
I wanna play the dulcimer part!
i really like the creativity in all the different parts and stuff in the production. it’s really good. i don’t have any cool equipment like that. and even if i did, i’m not sure how creative i’d be with it.
#50 is definitely a winner. I especially like the music and the feeling you put into singing it.
I can’t think of anything to improve it.
What makes a song a “Mandy” song is the emotion you sing with.
Emotion. Thanks, Ed! I think I posted a while back that my heart went through the ringer when I recorded in Oregon. Singing back through the emotion of each song was a heavy and difficult process. I was emotionally worn out. And that’s when I realized how much of my heart went into each song. It was eye-opening.
I like it. Very different than most of your music I’ve heard so far. And I’m intrigued by the fact that you’re not just writing songs about different topics or with different sounds, but completely different styles. I don’t think I’m really saying that right. But I love what you’re doing – way to go hitting #50!!
Even if the story is somewhat of a downer (but then most blues songs are i guess huh?)
i think the song could be a winner.
I’m a little uncertain about your vocals though?
To me they sound a little to ‘soft’, too ‘considered’?
I note you used the ‘angry’ tag – but the singer does not sound all that angry? Is that by any chance due to where you recorded it and consideration of neighbours etc??
i thik it would sound better if you really got angry and ‘let ‘er rip’ as we say in the Antipodes
Loved the intro!
<B
yes. My singing is HIGHLY constrained by neighbors. This wasn’t an attempt at an album-worthy performance. Just enough of a sketch for me to have the general idea. When I present these songs, I present them as “written” not as “performed” – there’s a significant difference, which you are picking up on. I think you’ll hear the difference in my songs on the upcoming CD. You’ll hear me sing as I LONG to sing… Finally.
Yayyyyy!
and ‘Finally!’ is right
I can appreciate the difference you kindly confirmed in your statement – it’s nice to know i read that ‘part’ right
<B
Wow, 50 songs! that’s crazy lots!
Anyway, feedback – TOTALLY LOVE this song – To be honest I haven’t heard a single song of yours I didn’t like! but yeah, REALLY like this one 