I used to tell people what to do. I mainly did this when I thought I knew what was best for them, which was – unfortunately – a frequent occurrence. To perpetuate this bossiness, my behavior was reinforced by others who told me I was good at giving advice… Wise… An old soul…
This had such a huge influence on my life that I planned to go into counseling, to spend all my workings hours telling people what to do. Little did I know, a good counselor actually listens more than she talks. She asks more than she advises. She lets the person make their own decisions.
About two and a half years ago, I decided that I didn’t want to tell people what to do anymore. I also didn’t want to spend all of my day listening to others’ drama, which – as I said before – is what a good counselor does.
Since I made this decision, my life has been much calmer. But something interesting happened. I found many internal issues that I’ve needed to address within myself (surprise surprise). I can no longer ignore just how undeniably messed up I am – and how, until I get my own personal life on track, its’ not wise for me to tell anyone else what to do.
Until then, I’m only going to tell me what to do
Self-realization is fun isn’t it? While I can’t offer any solutions, as I am quite the messed up one too, I can tell ya, you have support and people looking out….NO, people looking UP for you.
I may not get a chance to put it in words daily on this blog, but I pray for you and appreciate all who you inspire with this corner of the world that is yours.
I’m a little further down the road away from bossiness to reflectiveness. It’s a good way. Keep on that path, and I’ll walk with ya.
I’ve been thinking a lot about talking more with & asking advice of those in my parents’ generation & older. They usually have much to offer, yet are just as often forgotten about or not asked. My dad is one that doesn’t offer words of wisdom unless he’s asked, which I respect. I want to become more like that – & not talk so much. Didn’t someone once say that even a fool is thought to be wise when his mouth is shut?
There is a saying that goes: ‘it is better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt’.
Praise the Lord for Jesus Christ who comforts our heart and soul.
‘Until then, I’m only going to tell me what to do.’
Something you may like to spend some time ‘considering’ is just EXACTLY what ‘part’ of you is doing the ‘telling’…?
i mean, is it a human ‘wise’ part of you? a human ‘bossy’ part of you? a scared part? a hurt part? All parts combining equally to achieve a ‘consensus’ and balanced opinion?
Or is it maybe a deeper, purely spiritual part? Does your wisdom of what to ‘do’ come from you – or from Him? or is it a ‘combined’ effort??
or is it sometimes more of you and your past and at other times Him and His?
is there anything You can do (are doing?) to ensure there is ‘less of you and more of Him’ doing the ‘telling’?
i would hope that all of us consider these things.
<B
Love-One step at a time, right? This took a lot of courage to write I imagine.
TJ – we can all only take one ‘step’ (hop, skip, jump?) at a time and so ideally make our progress and path through life.
i prefer to look at it as His wisdom more than ‘courage’ – but it does indeed take courage to look carefully, critically and conscientiously at what it is inside of us that makes us ‘do’ what we do.
at first we take ‘baby’ steps and then growing in confidence we may take larger ones – hopefully, as we ‘grow’ we learn to do so through Him and not through ‘me’, first.
<B
busted…
ouch, ouch, ouch.
um…i think i needed to read this.