Monthly Archives: April 2010

The Greatest Suffering

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16

“As far as I am concerned, the greatest suffering is to feel alone, unwanted, unloved. The greatest suffering is also having no one, forgetting what an intimate, truly human relationship is, not knowing what it means to be loved, and not having a family or friends.” Mother Theresa

I’ve been in a few conversations recently that really tap into depression and mental well-being… Some people would say that depression is the worst feeling in the world. Some would say grief.

But me? I’d say loneliness.

What would you say?

[gosh. To counterbalance the dark tone of this post, I can't wait to tell you what I've been up to this weekend! Y'all are going to luh-huh-huvv it. :) Video coming next. Have a sun-shiny day.]

Yeah, but what if we’re having a bad day???

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16

We have Christian radio stations down here. Yes, emphasis on the “s” – because I don’t think there were ANY Christian radio stations (FM, at least) in Boston.

Now, when I flip the dial and run into the latest worship song, it’s just… jarring.

Oh, and then sometimes I walk into a business and hear Christian music on muzak. That’s some crazy stuff right there. For a public place to have… anyway.

Back to the radio. These Deejays are so … happy. Positive. Energetic about life. More happy than the average person on the street. I can’t help but wonder what it’d be like to have that gig, especially when I don’t have that bounce in my step or voice most days.

Maybe they feel this need to prove, by their tone of voice, that God is worth it?

Maybe they really genuinely are that happy?

Maybe they have been told that the station is an upbeat and positive resource for listeners, and that’s a part of the job?

BUT, BUUUUTTTTT… What if they have a bad day? What happens? Do they take a sick day when they’re feeling down? (I know this sounds critical and tongue-in-cheek, but I’m serious.)

I ask all these questions, because Christian radio personalities aren’t the only representatives of the faith. We all are. All believers, from the church staffer, to the radio Deejay, to the stay-at-home mom, to the college kid, to the plumber.

We all are.

And, well, what if we’re having a bad day? Does this ruin our “witness?” Is our mood an indicator of our faith? Is our faith defined by feelings? Is our faith more evident when the sun is shining or when it’s dark? When we’re having a good day, or when we’re facing a really tough time?

What if we’re angry? If we’re sad? If we’re hurt? If we’re afraid? If we’re stressed out?

What proves our faith in those days?

Does Anyone Else Have a Spiritual Rule?

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12

Back on staff at a church. And I’m really being challenged.

The main challenge? My personal spiritual development.

Our staff homework this week was to develop a Spiritual Rule, or a Rule of Life, which outlines how we want to grow and mature in our faith and in our daily lives. Most of us weren’t really clear on the assignment, so we held a secret meeting where Drew (yes, my star-student husband) helped clarify things a bit.

(A helpful doc that explains everything can be downloaded HERE.)

Our pastor encouraged us to develop a Rule that fit our personality and “make it our own.” It just had to be focused, practical, encouraging, and holistic.

Anyway, this was quite a challenging process, but I had a whole lotta fun “making it my own.” So here’s my first shot. It has a few challenging elements, as well as activities that I’m currently doing. And, of course, I already want to make some changes. I mean, hello? Is exercise a spiritual discipline, because it sure as heck feels like it sometimes!

[click to enlarge]

Husbands: How to Lead Your Marriage, and Make Your Wife Fall In Love with You Again.

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29

What a presumptuous title, eh?!? But, listen…

Husbands, I have a fool-proof way for you to do some leading in your marriage, AND make your wife fall in love with you all over again. Trust me, it can be done. It’s a win-win! :)

Drew got this idea from our pastor & his wife, who pick a theme for their marriage each year. Or maybe he got it from the “hey-let’s-do-this” look I gave him during that convo. Either way, he still gets credit.

Our 7-year-anniversary was last week, and during our long weekend-getaway he unveiled our theme for this year:

The Year Of Attention

It might not sound romantic, but it dang sure lights my fire. Wait. I mean, I really like it. He picked this theme because this is the first year in a long while where we have to push through life to pay attention to our marriage. And it also may be the last year we have the freedom to pay so much attention, with hopes and dreams of Tiny Thompsons taking over our world eventually (cue squeals of delight from almost everyone we know).

Now, for you systematic thinkers like Drew, the action steps are split into two sub-points:

  1. We talk. This involves things like a marriage small-group or book or seminar. Things that improve our communication and help us understand one another.
  2. We time. We’ll do stuff like take a few getaways together. Or have a regular date night – and not just mindlessly watching a movie.

Stuff like that.

And it was Drew’s idea, remember? He is leading us through the theme this year. He thought it all out over weeks, considering both of our interests and needs.

The idea of a “year-theme” sounds simple, but it may be the best thing we can do for our marriage. It’s an “us” thing. Exclusive. Achievable. Goal-oriented. Beneficial. It gives us a rallying point to stay focused on the most important relationship we have.

So, whaddya think? What if you fellas did this, too? What if you to initiate this in your marriage?

I think she’ll love it.