If you could be the opposite sex for a day…?

Yesterday :: 3:30pm EST

I’m driving down “the spur” (for all you locals), sipping my Chick-Fil-A peach milkshake (aka: Heaven With A Straw), while thinking VERY happy thoughts about how amazing the weather is right now (even though I spent a large chunk of my day doing something that I’m not crazy about, but this is a first since I started my job four months ago. More happy thoughts all around.).

Anywho, back to the drive. The radio happens to be on the local Country station, and the DJ is talking faster than I’m driving. And, even though I don’t like a lot of talk-talk-talk on the radio when there should be tune-tune-tune, it doesn’t ruin mood. My beautifully invincible mood.

The DJ prattles through future topics of conversation on their show, including the question: “if you could be the opposite sex for a day, what’s one thing you’d do?”

And that’s when it hit me, surpassing the euphoria of perfect weather and perfect shake:

This’d make one heck of a blog question.

So, I ask you, dear sunshiny readers, if you could be the opposite sex for a day, what would you do?

Impossible Things

It’s time for a creative challenge: Each of us can come up with one “impossible thing.”

Where’d I get this wacky idea? From this blog post about boosting creativity. The thought is to stretch your imagination by coming up with “impossible things.”

So, I’m thinking we can all take a minute today, stretch our creative muscle, and come up with an impossible thing or two. Something that’s not out there. Something impossible…

Ok?

Ready!

And….

…Stretch!!!

If I had more time…

1) I don’t even know how, but I started following (or following-back?) @PreMiddleAge on twitter. (For those who might not understand the previous jargon, just know: I somehow found this chick on the internet.) Eventually, I started paying attention to the little things she wrote the twitter-net, and in a late-Saturday-night-wandering I decided to click on over to her blog. It is fantastic, y’all. Funny. Witty. Sarcastic. Witty-some-more. And, if I had more time, I’d read on…

2) I sat on my couch with a friend recently, and the more she told me about Madeleine L’Engle’s writings, the more I wanted her books in my hands. ”Our truest responsibility to the irrationality of the world is to paint or sing or write, for only in such response do we find the truth.” See? How could I not want more of that wisdom in my life? According to my friend, this woman knew faith, knew doubt, and knew the fitful path of creativity. If I had more time, I’d let her words mentor me…

3) My kitchen is avocado green. A wall in my bedroom is Boston-Legacy brown, with white birch trees stretching up it. (Yes, it’s my fave wall in the whole house and it was Alece’s idea.)Everything else is a pale creamy off-white. If I had more time, I’d paint our living and dining rooms a corresponding color.

4) Well, let’s just be honest. If I had more time, I’d think of a fourth thing to put on this list.

What would you do if you had more time?

A Thousand Winters

Working on a song.  Yes I’m about 10 songs behind where I should be in my goal of 50 songs in 2010. But whatevs. My house is now settled enough to live in. So there.

Anyway.

I wrote this one last year, and am tweaking it as a rewrite for this year. I really like this song. I’m not a fan of most songs I write, but this one has something to it. And I want to make it work. But I can’t quite figure out how to clearly tell that he didn’t come back. He died or just left or something. Whatever. Either way, she lost him, and her heart/calendar is stopped on that day. I need some help. Again, leaning on you TRUSTY and TALENTED blog readers to come through for me.

So, help!

Ready? Here we got:

SHE STOPPED MARKING THE DAYS
& LEFT HER CALENDAR STILL
FROZEN IN TIME, FADED BY YEARS
& ON THAT DAY HER HEART WOULD STAY FOR A THOUSAND WINTERS
IN THE DEAD OF WINTER’S CHILL
THEY SOARED LIKE THE SUN
HE SANG HER SUMMER SONGS, HELD HER SAFE & WARM
& ON THAT DAY HER HEART WOULD STAY FOR A THOUSAND WINTERS
(Chorus)
A HEART CAN HOLD ON FOREVER
A SOUL WON’T FORGET IT’S HOME
NOTHING CAN COME BETWEEN WHEN
WE HOLD ON
WE HOLD ON
FOR A THOUSAND WINTERS
WITH A MIDNIGHT GOODBYE
HE LEFT HER BY THE FIRE
DISAPPEARED INTO THE GRAY, INTO THE DARKEST OF NIGHTS
AND ON THAT DAY HER HEART WOULD STAY FOR A THOUSAND WINTERS

(Back to Chorus again)

What if we actually said it…?

What if we actually told God that we didn’t like the direction our lives have gone in? What if we told Him that, in order to avoid all the crap and pain that we find ourselves in, we were going to figure this out on our own? What if we told Him that “His way” just wasn’t working out for us?

There exists, out there in real (but hidden) corners of Christianity, a group of individuals who are familiar with the road of suffering. I had a chance to talk to a member of this group recently. She said she’s never felt more free in her faith than when she actually owned up to the fact that she did not like the path that was laid out for her. If suffering was what God intended for her to walk through, she did NOT like His will for her life.

She didn’t want it.

Read: A good Godly devoted Christian woman did NOT want God’s will for her life.

So she told him.

I’m realizing that maybe I’ve been punishing God for a particular circumstance in my life, even though things seem to be dreamy right now. Yes I’m back home and loving it. Yes I’ve got an amazing ministry at a church. And yes I’ve got some unbelievably awesome new and old friends. And yes I love being this close to my family again. And yes I have a tan. What else could a girl ask for?

But this one thing has left me heartbroken for quite a while. Years, actually.

My brain says God doesn’t necessarily want this for my life.

But my heart says He’s the only One who could fix it. Prevent it. Do something about it.

And my heart is winning the argument. And misbehaving. My heart is silent. Punishing. Withdrawn.

If I’ve already pulled away, my friend says I need to tell God that I did NOT sign up for this and I really really don’t like it and I don’t want it.

She says good will come of it.

Although, I can’t imagine what, other than a Spiritual spanking for talking back. Right? Won’t I break the number one rule of Christianity if I own up to my un-surrendered, maverick heart? Aren’t I doing the unthinkable?