Well… now that you all know, you’ll probably figure out that Mother’s Day can be a hard day for me.
And you know how the whole church service might be about moms? Try to be a secretly-infertile worship leader on that Sunday.
This year I won’t be leading worship. I’ll be doing my thing in the tech booth. Tucked away. Not worrying if anyone can read it on my face. (But, well-loved Chapel-people, please don’t get too huggy on Sunday. I gotta maintain my composure. I work there.)
And, don’t get too worried either, because I don’t think it’s going to hurt as bad this year. Let me tell you why.
I recently had a conversation with my mom that really changed things for me. We were in the car, and we often have our best conversations in the car. Takes me back to when I was a kid and we’d go shopping together and we’d talk in the car.
Anyway, we were talking about the “new” me. The “Post-Seminary” me. The “I’ve been through some tough stuff in the past few years” me… And, you know what she said to me? She said that she can tell all this crap has really changed me. That I came back from seminary a different person. A better person. A stronger person.
She said I came back as a woman.
I’m a woman. A woman.
And even though I’m not a mom, I can still be a woman. Because my mom said so.
With or without kids, that’s means a lot.
“Even though I’m not a mom, I can still be a woman.” Different. Better. Stronger. And altogether His.
I’m praying for God to show up in unexpected ways just for you on Sunday.
Thank you friend. Thought about you and your beautifully feminine hands when I wrote this last night.
This made me smile.
Your mom is brillant!
Mandy, I was so proud of you for making it public.
( I wrote this on a napkin at a coffee shop (where I was reading yor blog)
You couldn’t be doing all these things that I know about or have seen in you if you weren’t ‘waiting well.’ You are “numbering your days aright, you are gaining a heart of wisdom.”
Mandy, Don’t ever mark down that you are also ‘living’ as you are waiting and because of that you are making an impact on others. You are not avoiding the pain or ignoring the loss, you are acknowledging the fact that God is in control every time you reach out.
You are living and I am so proud of you. You are present in the moment…waiting, hurting, wishing, but you are present and that is what life is all about. Being present in the moment and living for others.
You are of great worth.
I am waiting, too. I am waiting to see what God has in mind for both you and Drew.
Your maturity and love for one another is so rare these days. (so rare)
I can only think that even God is waiting to see just how He will best make the most of you and Drew…
a couple that is crazy in love with each other and is committed to walking a journey that is so painful.
But not unnoticed by a Gracious, Amazing, ever-giving Daddy God.
Love You friend!
Thank you for these words, H. And thank you for taking the time to get them to me. I’m going to think hard on your words this weekend… Think about how I am living this out. How I am influencing others. How I am spending my time while waiting…
(((hug)))
Mandy, I don’t know what to say and I’m afraid I’ll say the wrong thing. But I also don’t want to read this in silence.
So I’m reading. I’m praying for you and Drew. And I’m thinking.
Your honesty is a blessing and God is going to use this.
These words were perfect. Thank you for letting me know you’re reading and praying.
i love you.
Love you too.
“And even though I am not a mom, I can still be a woman. Because my mom said so.”
Beautiful.
Inspiring.
Encouraging.
“And even though I am not a mom, I can still be a woman. Because my mom said so.”
those words hug my heart.
What a gift your mom is to you!! She is very wise.
I agree, Jennifer… And I hope she reads this.
Mandy, thank you for opening your heart and sharing. I will be praying for you both to be encouraged, to trust more deeply in God’s faithfulness. What an encouragement you are!
Thanks for your prayers, Storie.
I wish I had something insightful to say or something meaningful to add. I don’t, though. But I couldn’t just look at your posts in Google Reader and NOT say something, NOT let you know that I’m reading, that I care. So…here I am…reading, caring, respecting you and your story and the way you share it.
Mary:
It’s nice to just know you’re here reading. I’m not asking for advice or meaning. I’m just putting my story out there – for others, and for myself.
Thank you for your sensitivity and care.
Blessings,
m
Your mother knows just what to say. And it’s the truth. She’s brilliant.
Do you know that I very very very rarely cry? And my eyes just got all misty right now. For no other reason than the fact that I love you very much.
I had no idea!
Mother’s Day is hard for me, too, but in a different way. I have three kids, one bio, two step. I don’t usually make that distinction because they’re my boys. Period. But Mother’s Day doesn’t do a good job of including the mother’s of a different sort, the mother’s who came by their children in less-than typical means. The day makes me feel “less than.” Mother’s Day usually makes me cry, because of what I had and lost. What I dreamed about, but never will be, at least not in the traditional sense.
This year I prepped myself better than I have before, and it was a good day. Primarily because I chose to recognize that my value isn’t wrapped up in my role and what others think about my role. Almost like your mom’s sage advice: I’m a woman, unique, valuable, purposed. Regardless of the children (or lack there of) helping me celebrate Mother’s Day.
I’m glad you’re talking.
I had a “better than usual” Mother’s Day as well… A little prepping goes a long way, doesn’t it?