I saw this commercial recently and thought, “Thanks, Verizon. You confirmed my hesitations to get a smartphone.”
I know, I know. I’m a techie. I’m all into the internet and gadgets and such. If I ever break down and get an iPhone or a Droid my life will quickly become out of control. I have a hard enough time putting my mac down… Imagine if I could take those capabilities with me wherever I went. I know better than to give myself that ease of access.
Because, I’m also into solitude. I’m also into unplugging at the beach. I’m also into weekend getaways where I can actually get away.
And I’m also into quality time – really engaging in face-to-face relationships with people who are right here right now. I know better than to send a quick text to one of my favorite funny friends before I go into a lunch mentor meeting. The phone would beep “text” and I would die from trying NOT to pick up the phone and read what they sent.
In some ways, I think we have forsaken the “now” for the sake of the “next” – next phone call – next email – next funny thing on twitter – next person who wants our attention through our gadget. What about the now? What about the person sitting across the table from us?
Let’s admit it: Sometimes we can be downright rude to the person we’ve invited to spend some time with us.
And, yeah, let’s admit this as well: It is SO HARD to step away from the gadgets. SO HARD.
How good are you at stepping away and unplugging? At giving attention to relationships? Why do you think this struggle is so hard for people like us?
There’s nothing I love more than sitting next to someone (at their or my house or in a car or a restaurant) while he or she yaps away on the phone and ignores me. It really makes my day.
Apparently, technology robs people of any sense of manners.
You went there. Yep. You did.
I’m glad we’re having this discussion today.
It took me a while, but I have learned not to do this for the most part. I let phone calls go to voicemail, I turn my ringer off so I do not spend all day listening to the constant “ding-ding” of my iPhone. I know many who are more slave to their regular phone and text than I am to my full featured smartphone.
It drives me NUTS for someone to take a phone call or read a text when I am in a meeting with them, or really doing one on one time. If we are just hanging out it is no big deal, but when we are talking and you stop, look at your phone — then ANSWER it, I feel cheated and less important. It’s just rude, and if I ever do that to you — slap me.
I use my iPhone — alot. It helps me keep up with my work and life issues when I would otherwise have downtime. I’m not talking about time spent in solitude or quiet time, I am talking about sitting in the Dr’s office, or (grin) — in the bathroom. I steal little wasted moments of my day and add them to my productive time. It is a valuable tool. It helps me do so many things I cannot do with a regular phone, but until you experience this, you will not understand.
Like anything else, it can become something you are a slave to. Like everything else, you have to not let it rule you, and you decide when you will use it, or it will use you!
I think that’s the best solution, Dennis – to learn how to use it properly. I just know for me and my addictive personality, it’s bad enough already.
The honest truth? I don’t like people….i know, very Christian of me, huh? All of my gadgets keep me from having to face them. And I can’t remember the last time I ‘unplugged’…..have no intention of doing it any time soon either
.
Now, the psychiatrist will tell ya I’m afraid people won’t like me and whether or not that’s true, I dunno. I don’t feel like I care if they do or not, but maybe somewhere, deep down, I do.
There ya have it…..I don’t say that out loud too often
.
Wow. I absolutely LOVE the honesty of this comment. And I think there’s some truth to it. We may be able to stay engaged while also holding people at arms length…. hmmmmm….. I got a lot to talk about!
To be honest, the Blackberry has helped me unplug. Yes, I do hit the email / Twitter / foursquare apps from time to time in “public” places, but I spend MUCH less time with the laptop and less time wondering about the emails. It seems contradictory, but that’s how it works for me.
I try to ignore phone calls from people – except my wife, who doesn’t call excessively – when I’m involved with a conversation of some sort. Having the capability to be on the ‘net doesn’t mean that I always am. Having it on my belt lets me use my time BETTER, though.
I’m a smartphone fan. I see far more people texting like mad on dumphones than I do smartphones. The addiction is to a certain type of communication, not to the device.
Interesting, Bernard…. I like that it helps you… Not sure I get it. But I’m glad it does. And I agree that the addiction is more to do with communication and less about the device itself.
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In some ways I think the gadget thing taps into our desire to sit on the throne of control . . . a throne reserved for only One. We spend so much time ‘creating our own world’ with all the gadgets we carry around that we completely ignore the world in which God has already placed us.
Wow Jim. I’m guessing you’ve been thinking about this… How do you think we can USE technology to better care for and relate to the world we’re in?
Me? I’m an addict. I want an iPhone terribly bad, but alas, AT&T has no signal in my home. I’m getting a Droid or HTC Incredible within the next month. Then, I’ll REALLY be accused of being a social media junkie.
In meetings? I’ve tried to turn my ringer off, and turn my phone upside down. (because if I see it light up, no matter if I touch my phone or not, the voices in my head asking what it’s about are always louder than the person talking to me in person).
Well, at least you’re honest!
yes. i totally get this. up until recently, i was super bad at not unplugging. at first, when i got the iphone, i would go days without opening my computer and brag about it. BUT…i was constantly on that darn phone because it became my “other computer”.
now…even before i gave up my iphone last week…i used it way less. i got rid of most my push notifications. all but texts (just in case my kids needed me from school and couldnt call) but i no longer have twitter and email notifications pop up. they were too distracting to me, and others, and it felt more obligatory than desired when thinking of looking and responding. (wow, that was a big run-on)
so, ive learned a lot. and when i get my new iphone – i will continue to learn more tact.
well, thats the plan
Wow… yeah. If I ever do get a shiny smartphone, I’m coming to YOU for advice. Will you be my interneters-anonymous sponsor?
yes. if you make me dumplins and sweet tea.
You know I’d make ‘em for ya even if you weren’t my IA sponsor!
and i’d let you. all while i stood next to you, supposedly listenin to you boss me around or give me a challenge or sumpin, playing words with friends on my iPhone.
=D
love you!
“supposedly listenin” ??? whatever! You totally listen! I have proof.
what?!
prove it.
http://www.taminprogress.com/thematical-4-of-4/
and
http://www.taminprogress.com/roosters-are-sleeping/
and
http://www.taminprogress.com/i-do-not-smoke/
And the kicker:
http://www.taminprogress.com/a-month-off/
BIG GRIN
-.-
I have been noticing the same thing lately. As much as I would love to get an over-priced-mini-computer, I think it is just another way of replacing our real connections with people with a facade; 90% of my “friends” on Facebook are not my real friends, yet I have them all grouped together and let them know what is going on in my life via updates, so that they do not have a need for calling me. And vice versa, of course.
Also, texting has killed romance. I used to wait anxiously for the guy with my number to call me for a date–but now that we are together, we can text throughout the day and have nothing to talk about later. So it becomes a text which reads, “goodnight iloveyou.”
Sweet and everything, but why not come see me or call me to say the message personally?
Where are the modern-day Darcys and Shakespeares who would love nothing more than to describe their feelings fully in a letter, just in case you do not see them for weeks?
Le sigh, clearly I have been thinking of this recently.
Great post!
HI!!!
Do we know you? Have you been here before?
Fabulous comment, btw. Thanks for stopping by. You make me grateful for a husband who’d rather call than text. mmmmm…. le sigh, indeed.
I *try* to give my attention to whomever I’m with… However, I will allow my bride, Patti, to interrupt pretty much any time.
On the flip side though, if it were not for online media, most people would never know me. I do not talk nearly as much as I write. Nor do I hear as well as I read.
I agree, Ric.
Social media has really pulled “me” out of me.
Plugging out (sorry, thinking like a Bajan hehe … I mean unplugging) is hard for me too… I work on the PC, I relax on the PC, I chat on the PC, I blog on the PC….I come home and go straight to the PC (forgot what TV was!)
It has been so bad that I went out by myself one time recently and realized – I have NO idea how to do ANYTHING remotely entertaining anymore that does not involve a PC and an internet connection ….
What’s worse is that I’m supposed to be getting a BlackBerry as a late birthday present … and I can’t even say no because I will need the technologies for work! (It’ll make checking up on my database servers remotely easier.)
What with blogging, chatting, Facebooking, Twitterring… Will I add BBMing (Blackberry Messenger) to the list…. oh the horror!!!!
yep… You’re in trouble!
I don’t own a cellphone, but I could spend 24 hours a day online. I am interested in everything that is happening, everywhere in the world, to everyone.
Being retired I have the time to also enjoy the world outside my door, the beach, the park, and the friends I meet there.
If I was working, and had a family, my guess it would take a lot of discipline to not want to stay connected 24/7.
Part of this is because I am something of a control freak.
I think the more control we like to have, or try to have, the more likely it is we will want to stay on top of everything, and everyone, in our lives.
Good mental health requires that everyday we have some of that alone time you talked about. As well as giving the other members of our family their own alone time. I todays face paced world this takes a lot of discipline.
You’re such a student, Ed. Have you ever thought about getting a general studies degree just for the heck of it?
Ohhhh, I still don’t know what to do with this question! On the one hand, I am so not good at unplugging and being fully there, yet that is so what I crave and desire. Because oftentimes I get off the computer and am like…what was the point of that? that was a waste of time…but then there are relationships and people and connections that I am thankful for, but at the same time, I wonder if I am missing out on face to face ones because I’m cultivating a community online instead. I don’t have a smart phone and I don’t know how I would handle it….hmmmm. good discussion though! looking forward to seeing what everyone else says.
Missing out on face-to-face ones because I’m cultivating a community online instead…
wow… what a thought. I think there’s a bit of that. But, also, social media has allowed me to connect with a lot of people that were back here in GA before we returned home. In a way, I feel a bit more connected. In a strange and twisted way.
When I got my iPhone last year it helped me unplug. I don’t generally browse twitter or the web on my iPhone so glancing at it for a text message or email is actually far less threatening than wondering about it and grabbing my laptop. When I grab my laptop it begs for more browsing or whatever. There was the newness factor for a while that had me playing with it all the time for a month or so but that is gone. I love having access to email and calendars with ease. I do enjoy having Echofon, Google Reader and other things to fill in down times while waiting for something. All in all I can grab my phone, check/send email or whatever and have far less distraction in my life than before.
As for the annoying person in the room or whatever. I think that is way more about the person than it is the device in their pocket. I have been with plenty of people with “dumb” phones that still can’t put them down. Guns don’t kill people, people kill people… it is not the fault of the device in someone’s pocket, it is the fault of the (addictive?/socially unaware?/aloofness?) person using it that is to blame. I’m not saying that I never grab my phone while at lunch with a friend at look at it, I’m just saying that it didn’t start with an iPhone. I’ve never been a text messaging fiend though.
you make a good point in that first paragraph, Travis.
And you know me.
And you know that Gracie is the only person who wants to play with my phone when I’m at your house. haha… But I’m scared to think what might happen if I got a REALLY fun phone
Oh my. Talk about truth in advertising. These guys aren’t even trying to pretend this isn’t an excuse to ignore the real world going on around you. The guy on the horse was the worst I think.
I own a phone. That’s all it does. I recently upgraded to one with a camera, but that’s it.
When it rings while I am talking to someone, and I silence it or put it in my drawer, I get funny looks. It makes people uncomfortable that I would rather talk to them than answer my phone.
It makes people uncomfortable that I would rather talk to them than answer my phone.
wow… This just shows how we’ve grown to expect people to choose technology, or at least the demands and instant access that comes from technology.
It is a little like when you ‘phone someone, and they actually answer. You are so used to leaving a message on their machine, that you don’t remember how to talk to an actual person.
BTW I just want to clarify that when the phone rings I put it in my desk drawer, not in my drawers. Because then I think the strange looks would be justified.
HA! Oh yes. So thankful you clarified.
And, I will confess: sometimes I call wishing they don’t answer. 
Confession: I CRINGE inside (and sometimes outside!) when people do anything on their phones in front of me. Absolutely makes me batty. And most of these people aren’t RUDE people by nature, but that dang phone brings the rude right out. I love them regardless, but it does leave me frustrated and ALWAYS wondering if they’d rather be elsewhere. Always. Once a friend was here watching a movie and she answered her cell phone and talked on it for 20 MINUTES. During that time, I washed my face, got ready for bed, cleaned up a little, and started shutting off all the lights to go to bed. leaving her on the phone in my living room. Just as I was about to go to bed, she got off the phone, apologized profusely, and I begrudgingly finished the movie. I just wanted to go to bed at that point. Then there are times when I’m out with someone and they try to text under the table, or off to the side, or in their purse….. Okay, you can’t be two places at once, so pick one. And give one your full attention.
I think you’re on to something here!
“You can’t be two places at once, so pick one.”
well stated.
And I LOVE that you started turning off the lights! haha
I used to be hopelessly obsessed. I couldn’t be without my phone, my laptop, etc. Until I moved into an apartment in Beverly and didn’t have internet for 2 weeks. I took walks! I went to the beach! I went to Atomic Cafe with my friends! I talked to people face to face! I left my cell phone at home.
It was so freeing, that this week, since I’ve gotten internet, I feel as though it and my phone are almost a nuisance.
Interesting! And good for you.
Drew made me take a week off one summer… shortly after I’d started blogging. I thought I was gonna die.
First sign of addiction.
Makes me glad my computer got stolen.
I only use my BB to check the Six and read the paper and, about once a week, I will actually read a blog.
There was an interestiong articke in the NY Times about the affect of tech on the brain, including the myth of multi-tasking.
I’d leave a link, but I’m not that much of a techie anymore…and never was, really.
SOX ***
(and we can google the link)
(Let me know what you think if you do. I’d love to hear that.)
Oh I’m SURE I’ll blog about it!