Yesterday I sat still with her 5 month old boy hunched over my forearm, fast asleep amidst the noise and music and distractions that come with a post-church lunch at a semi-fast food burger joint. And we laughed. And I got to hear bits and pieces of her heart – of her life and what God is doing – how she’s changed and yet is still the same old friend I knew in highschool. And I was quiet – and I listened - and I learned.
Later that night I spent hours on a new friend’s back porch- from the heat of day ’til well-past sundown… Talking. Telling stories. Telling secrets. I was quiet again. I did a lot of listening, but I got to know my friends so much better. And I learned about life, and parenthood, and college stories, and world travel, and all sorts of random things.
All from sitting.
And these days, I’m blind to reasons why I’m not as introspective now as I used to be. Why I’m not as self-aware. Why I can’t tell you what I think or feel about certain things.
Maybe I should just sit more. Away from the laptop or cell phone or to-do list. Away from productivity and information overload.
Sit.
And listen to my own soul tell me its secrets – tell me stories that I haven’t heard in a while – or stories that I haven’t heard told before. Maybe then I will know myself again. Maybe.
What do you do to know yourself?
sit…sit alone w/Jesus, and let him tell me about myself…he knows me so much better than i do…
More sitting? I guess I’m on to something. Just need to do it!
walking is good too
I love sitting on the front porch and watching the world go by. It’s one of my favorite things.
My great-grandfather used to do that. I think there’s merit to it even today!
“Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in Him….”
This Psalm REALLY struck me last night, and I’ve been thinking about it for several hours. Let ALL that I am wait QUIETLY before God… I don’t do that often enough. And when I do wait quietly I’m not usually fully present.
All that I am… Imagine what He will reveal to us and about us when we give Him ALL that we are.
All…
timely, Steph. Thanks for leaving that here.
I love that! May that be a part of my resurrection…..
Joining the sitting brigade. But, usually after hiking a mountain or something like that.
You and my husband both. I think it’s surprising to hear that all of us chat-all-day-long-on-the-internet people actually do get some solitude in life. Score
Last year you did the Do Something campaign; which was timely and pertinent.
Maybe this season calls for a Sit for a Spell campaign (or something like that).
There is surely power in the Selah.
Selah. That word always strikes my heart.
This post rattles me…. mostly because I’ve not been sure of who I am now for about 6 years. I know what I stand for, I know who I want to be, I know what I care about and what I love….. but who I really am is wrapped up in daily chores and taking care of others. And I get selfish and sometimes wish I only had to worry about ME for awhile.
But then, in true fashion, the first day I had to only worry about ME I’d still be worrying about everyone else. Guess it’s time to figure out the me of now…… while sitting and folding laundry.
I think the fog of depression also keeps us from really being able to think – to process – to feel – to work through things. I think it masks our everyday realities – makes everything blurry and it’s hard to focus in on what really is going on in life.
Just my thoughts, though, as I figure all this out for myself.
“I think the fog of depression also keeps us from really being able to think – to process – to feel – to work through things. ”
Oh yeah – depression is a fog in my life, too…. it DOES make it hard to focus…. maybe what made it so difficult to do what was necessary in my own life recently…. hmmmm (Starting to think out loud…)
So I thought I replied to this earlier….but clearly did not. hmph.
I agree with this wholeheartedly. Sometimes I see the fog as either one of two things….. When God brings you into that fog it can be for a time of resting in Him, so long as we acknowledge that and go to Him. Then there’s Satan, who can use that fog to his advantage and pull us away…. it’s easy to be pulled in the wrong direction when you’re in a fog and he knows that. That is when it’s of the utmost importance to keep our focus on the Light to see us out of it. Truly… so many times I’ve been in that fog and let myself wander farther than I know I should…. just makes it all that much harder to get back. But God, He’s always there right where I left Him. I commented on Alece’s blog about this today too…. and someone commented after me something that has made my wheels turn a LOT today…. I need to take this time to rest in Him. See the fog as my peace in Him, my chance to rest in His embrace.
Rest sweet friend.
You did respond sorta – in an email. xxoo
Going to check alece’s blog now.
see, it’s that fog…. confuses me. haha!
I understand this full well. I have been in an identity crisis for at least a year now…. when I started my sabbatical from ministry, I couldn’t pull away from the whole ‘praying for others’ thing… it took MONTHS before I could stand and NOT pray for someone that needed it – because *I* am the one that needs the help right now….
But I realized – fairly recently – how much of my identity was WRAPPED UP in the whole DOING for God thing… when I was not doing it anymore I was like, “Who am I, really?” I have felt like I have missed out on a part of my development because I grew up in the church, got saved as a young child, got married early … but never fully figured out ME…..
So I get what you’re saying Bran…. I have no idea who I am…. Yeah I hear the confessions in the Scripture: “I am the righteousness of God in Christ”, “I am the head and not the tail….”, but what do they MEAN – for ME??? I’m trying to figure it out.
And sitting quietly is hard coz I feel disconnected if I’m not in front of my computer for any length of time LOLOL ….
But I think that I will have to work that into my life.
And, dare I say, I love the “SIT quietly” or “Selah” series idea …. just sayin’ lollolol
How would I even do a series that’s about “Selah?” About pausing – about listening rather than singing? I have no idea.
Any suggestions?
this makes me think….. aren’t singing and listening kissing cousins?? Don’t you have to listen to life around you to be able to sing about it?? And don’t you want others to listen to what you sing about?? I think you have more of an idea than you realize.
Dang. My wheels are spinning now…
Mandy – thanks for writing this. God speaks to me through nature and changing weather and sometimes when I can’t sleep and just get out of bed to sit in a slient living room. I’ve ignored so many times, the promptings to sit and listen either a good friend, a total stranger and worst of all my Heavenly Father. Thanks for your gentle reminder today!
Gee. You’re welcome.
to know myself i usually write.
and then i think.
and write some more.
the older i get i’ve learned that i process life through the pen and i’m surprised at what i find there sometimes.
miss you.
I miss you too, friend…
i’m with you on this.
i often need to step away from all the busyness and STUFF and just sit. sometimes i read. sometimes i write. sometimes i think. and sometimes i sing a little. but not for productivity. just any old tune that comes to my head.
“sometimes I write”
yes! I’ve [kinda] started this journaling situation. I’ve never been a journaler – because I don’t re-read what I’ve written. But I recently acquired this amazingly cool software that – well – I’ll just have to post on it sometime soon. But it’s lovely. And it helps me keep track of my insides. Of course, it doesn’t work unless I sit.
thought today about… “be still and know that i am God”…how else will we hear that still small voice? i know with my allergies, he speaks volumes when i am down and still..other wise its not in my nature to just sit….
I agree. I think we can only really really know that God is God if we sit still and let Him take care of things. But how flippin’ hard that is!!
extremely hard! i give it to him, take it back , give it to him..sit still about as long as a three year old…short attention span…and then sometimes (mostly) HE shows me things about me that need changed….but HE knows the Truth of me..haha not always fun and not always easy..but always worth it. Love ya Princess!
Thanks for elaborating! Love you too Darla
All I will say is that when I sit I go to sleep.
Maybe my body’s saying something????? *grin*
I think that’s definitely a sign!
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