Hi.
My name is Mandy.
And I spend a lot of time in social media. (There’s a confession in and of itself.)
And sometimes words on a screen can be misunderstood.
By you.
And by me.
I know that I’m not the only one who sometimes struggles to say things clearly. To find words that carry the tone and emotions of what I’m saying. But sometimes there aren’t enough words, and not enough 
s and 
s and 
s to make things come across the way we intend.
Earlier this month, a good friend of mine left a really thoughtful comment on my blog, and I think I may have misread his intentions. I may have missed the tone; and, as you would expect, I responded based on that misunderstanding. (No, I’m not gonna tell you who or when. You’ll just have to wonder.)
It happens sometimes, as hard as we try to be clear and friendly and warm and all that. It still happens. There aren’t enough emoticons to overcome limitations of typing expression-less words in a text-box.
I’d love to learn from your experiences… So, how do you compensate? How do you make up for those limitations?
We do our best Mandy. We need To be quick to listen and slow to speak – that is scriptural. Words on a screen, on a blog do not show the emotions behind them. Many times I weep as I type – my heart is there
Another thought speak slowly unless you have to say “I Am sorry!” – say that quickly and mean it.
papa – i always love every single thing you say. you are so full of wisdom.
I agree… Papa knows just how to say things to get right to my heart.
I’m learning that if there is any question …. or if there COULD be any question, to follow it up (soon) with a “just to make sure you know” … or a phone call, etc. Even then, there’s been misunderstanding.
I think being genuine and sincere (even in our misunderstandings) carries a whole lot of relational weight (in a good way) that isn’t otherwise there. Which is definitely one of the negative sides of this whole interconnected small digital world that we live in. We can almost parachute in throw a few grenades and then extract ourselves as quickly as we came.
That being said, I’d much rather have a friend misunderstand me in a conversation and respond in ANY genuine way they choose, even if it’s not positive, than to always speak with a candy coated tongue and win the “affections” of the world…if that makes sense!
To answer your question: I think the biggest thing is to be yourself. Whatever my response to any situation (good, bad or ugly), my prayer is that it comes from an authentic place, the God made me. Not some faux Russ made Russ!
Thank you for that perspective, Russ…
Papa’s advice “quick to listen and slow to speak” is very good advice. However I grew up in a conversationally very competitive culture, and still live in one. If we are slow to speak we may never be heard. This was one, of several, reasons that throughout my childhood I hardly spoke, except to say NO, my favorite word as a child.
I try to listen carefully, than ask questions to try and understand, as best I can, the meaning behind the words.
Asking questions also shows the other party I am interested in what they are saying.
My perception is that us city folk tend to talk to anyone, about anything, anytime, and very loudly. Also with some ethnic groups there will be a lot of hand waving involved.
(I thought I should add the smiley icon in case Alece, Grit and Glory, is reading this.)
Of course we all have different personalities that will be reflected in how we talk, or in my case how often I have to extract my foot from my mouth.
:-/
haha!
Nothing profound to add here, but I always type with the hopes that if someone reads me as being mean and hateful, they will know I’m simply failing at being funny.
for so long, if I forget to add the 
or 
, people automatically assume I’m serious.
….
Speaking of emoticons though, I have used the
Morons!
hahaha
I “haha!” and “LOL!” and “heehee” a lot if I’m being lighthearted along with the
and 
and 
If I’m annoyed or being totally serious or trying to get a very important point across, I ease up on it. Even still, sometimes that comes across as sarcasm and I lose anyway.
I’ve recently found that in my everyday face to face conversations, I’m just as easily misunderstood…. so at some point I have to wonder how much is me, and how much is it others? We may say or do or type something with the greatest intentions and STILL be heard incorrectly or misunderstood. A lot of what is perceieved by what we say is in the ear of the hearer too and eye of the beholder. We all think and process differently. One thing I’ve heard repeated in relational seminars and counseling is that most people don’t set out to be hurtful, they have good intentions. They are good hearted and not setting out to be spiteful or sarcastic. Even still, miscommunication happens. I know I’ve been on both ends of it. Relationships and communicating are hard enough without a computer screen in the middle.
i once used too many
happy faces while fb chatting with a guy friend. turns out he took if for flirting. so another brother of mine and i joke about the NFHF the non-flirtatious happy face. aaah.
oh funny!
I am often misunderstood, especially when I am face to face. Because of my speech impediment I don’t deliver my message so accurately., Especially after I had my stroke in 2007. (even my written word can be effected). So I when I am misunderstood or when I misunderstand someone’s comment. I evaluate it and restore it.
“Err is human” but like papa said if we are slow to speak, I think God gives us all the time and resources to RESTORE it when we flub it up.
H