3. How to stop a train

Considering today’s fast-paced, high-productivity, workaholic lifestyle, we are at great risk of being hit by a train – even if we’re on the right track.

Ok, so, this is not about a real train. A figurative train. A train of stress, fatigue, and even sickness. Plus, if we’re walking with others in this life, the train might hit them too – usually in the form of relational stress and all that blah blah.

About the title of this post. There’s no real way to stop a train, unless you’re the conductor. And, those of us who think they’re in the driver’s seat are the ones who are most likely to get hit by that train.

Let’s review: We can’t stop the train. And we’re not on the train. We’re just on track. It may be the right track; it may be the wrong track. But, that doesn’t matter. What matters is that we’re walking walking walking.

We’re not sitting. We’re not stopping. We’re just walking.

… and here comes the train.

So far this week we’ve focused on having some alone time and getting to know ourselves, but that’s not the point of the Selah. What we’re really supposed to be doing is stopping. Now, as I drag this metaphor out as long as I possibly can, let’s take a minute to stop. Stick our ear to the ground & listen. Or just sit on the tracks to feel the rumble.

Because here’s the point: how close is the train – and do you need to step off the track for a moment to let it pass?

2. Get to know yourself

*screenshot of  blank diary entry

For a while now, I haven’t really known what’s going on in my brain. That’s a huge reason why I took a “selah” last week.

To know myself better, I’ve recently started “journaling” – but not like what typical people do when they journal. Been keeping a record of my inner-workings for about two months now, and it’s really helping. It’s helping me pay attention to what happens each day and how it affects me.

My atypical approach is a piece of software called “Chronories.” I stumbled into being the guinea-pig for this German software dev company to re-write a version that would work with my Mac. More on that later…

Back to the journal and how it’s revolutionized my self-awareness.

Among a few other features that help me keep track of my life, these are the seven questions I quickly ask myself at the end of the day. It usually takes about 5 minutes. So, for those of you who are on this Selah journey with me this week, it’s time to answer a few questions. Use the comments, or feel free to turn this into a blog post and link back here, so we can keep track.

  • What was your HIGH today? (meaning, what was your highest most exciting experience today)
  • Your LOW? (what was your toughest moment)
  • What FOOD have you eaten?
  • What are you PONDERING?
  • Have you had any MOOD SWINGS through the day? (fellas, you can answer this one too)
  • How did you SLEEP last night?
  • Did you make any personal decisions (or RESOLUTIONS) today?

1. Solitude

If we’re going to Selah, we have to be comfortable being alone. We have to find ways for our conscious thoughts to merge with our subconscious thoughts. This is best achieved when our minds become more inwardly focused than outwardly focused. To be inwardly focused, we must find time to eliminate external distractions. In short, we must find time for solitude. Real solitude:

Pause

Some of you will remember the topic of “Selah” coming up in the comments a few weeks ago. And you’ll remember there were a number of you who asked if we could do a type of facilitated Selah around here. You asked in response to these words:

And these days, I’m blind to reasons why I’m not as introspective now as I used to be. Why I’m not as self-aware. Why I can’t tell you what I think or feel about certain things.

Maybe I should just sit more. Away from the laptop or cell phone or to-do list. Away from productivity and information overload.

Sit.

And listen to my own soul tell me its secrets – tell me stories that I haven’t heard in a while – or stories that I haven’t heard told before. Maybe then I will know myself again. Maybe.

I haven’t forgotten.

In fact, I probably think about that every week – trying to find a way to help this bloggy community (which I dearly love) quiet down from the chatter for a moment. I even asked my Biblical scholar husband what this word means: ”nobody knows for sure what this word means, but it most likely indicates some sort of pause or key change in the singing.”

So… Here’s what I’m gonna do. I’m going to pause for a breath – a long inhale. I’m going to “change keys” on this blog and in my life, and I’m gonna sit. And listen. And try to dig down deeper into my own soul. And I’m going to think about ways we can “selah” together.

And, we’ll start our “Selah” on Monday August 23rd.

See you then.

When I hurt, I run…

My ear hurts – the one that I had pierced just a few months ago. I recently had the piece changed out, and then went swimming in a public place. I think it’s infected. Not sure though. But I try to avoid touching it or sleeping on that side… I just don’t want the pain to get worse. It’s tender.

Drew and I recently talked about moments when we’re in one of those tense disagreements. I will shut down from the conversation. Check out. Not wanna talk anymore. It may seem like I’m punishing him or something. But I’m not… I just run from the potential hurt that our discussion may cause. I don’t like tense conversations. They make me nervous. They make me think that hurtful words are coming and, even thought that’s never really happened between us, I still wanna run. It’s a knee-jerk reaction for me. When conflict hits, I back off.

I’m beginning to wonder if that’s what’s going on with my spiritual life…

Maybe I’ve run from God.

Maybe it’s time to turn back.

Has anyone else out there ever withdrawn from God?