Monthly Archives: April 2011

The first step in fighting your own demons.

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19

We all have them… Those “haunts” that keep us up at night or make our heart pound or make us cringe in guilt after a wrong decision.

And man they get on my nerves.

I want to start getting on their nerves. Yeah. Yeah. I want to fight them in my own life… But, I can’t if I don’t know what they are. Right?

I think that’s the first step in fighting our demons: Find out what they are. Identify them. What’s that proverb (not Biblical, just proverbial)? Know thy enemy; thy enemy is self.

Or something like that. Maybe Sun Tzu and Pogo fell in love and got married and had some sort of quote-baby in my brain. But, you get what I’m saying…

If we don’t know our enemy (which may be within) then we won’t be able to smack it in the face with a wet glove and spit and walk away.

So, I’m out to discover mine. Call them out from hiding. It’s time for them to show their faces (I’m speaking rather figuratively here, y’all. Nobody panic.) I’m on the hunt for those things that just fray me. That wear me down. That tempt me and try me and test me and make me feel weak and weary.

Things like:

  • Conflict: I absolutely fear it. I’m a bit too non-confrontational.
  • Doubt: I sometimes wonder if maybe there’s a slight chance that somewhere out there “on the other side” of this world there really just might be nothing…? (cringe for honesty.)
  • Anger: I think I’m entitled. Namely, to be able to start a family with ease. By not getting my way, I’ve become a sort of a spiritual brat. Not so good.

That’s a start. And there are more. And some of them may be easier to beat than others. And, you know, some of them just might be around for life. But if I know these “demons” and can see them for what they are, I’ve already begun to strip their power.

So, take that, demons. I acknowledge that you annoy me. And I’m not interested in cooperating.

What are some of your demons? Can you identify one or two? Even in that, you’re stripping their power!

I totally changed my mind on the interaction in this post. You know what I really want to see happen in the comments? Y’all share how you’ve fought particular demons in your own life. There are others who face the same, and could really benefit from your stories.

Feel free to be anonymous, just be sure to change your email: anon@anonymous.com works well.

Thanks y’all!

On jumping out of an airplane.

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18

More than one of you mentioned Jumping Out Of An Airplane as a bucket list item.

I just can’t figure out why.

Ok. Maybe it’s My Current Fragility–the same Fragility that keeps me from signing up on Failin.gs right now–or it may be the fact that I already experience the “thrill” of slight hints of worry and anxiety on a weekly basis (mostly unfounded) so I’m not looking for actual legit reasons to panic. Either way, I can’t for-the-life-of-me figure out why someone would eagerly raise their hand if asked “ok, so, who in the room would like to go jump out of a plane?”

Not.

Me.

It’s the whole “you could really die” thing that’s getting in the way. My mom is probably thinking that this is in direct contradiction to my desire to turn a corner at 50-miles-an-hour. And, yes, I know rolling a car is a potential life-threatening activity. But, still, it’s not the same as free-falling. In the air. For an extended period of time. Especially when there’s that looming question of whether or not the parachute will open.

I don’t need that kind of excitement in my life.

Now, that doesn’t mean I don’t wanna watch the video of your jowls flapping as you scream your lungs out at 90-bazillion-gravitational-miles-per-hour. Oh yes I want to see it.

And I will applaud!

So, for all you thrill-seeking Bucket-Listers (ok. Maybe the Bourne in me fits that description) we need documentation of the event! I’m talking pictures, videos (including screaming-your-head-off audio) and the like!

Oh. And guess what? I got a call this week. I might be able to fulfill this bucket-list dream sooner rather than later! Stay tuned!

[CRINGE!!!] How to really find out what people think about you.

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34
My So-Called Life

Image via Wikipedia

Y’all. Did you know that “My So-Called Life” is streaming on Netflix?

Believe it.

And I’m pretty sure it single-handedly cured my snotty-itchy-watery-stuffy-sneezy head cold last week.

Ok. And maybe the Zicam + Airborne + Contact helped as well. But I’m not keeping score.

You’ve gotta remember that show. Mid 90s. Glam-rock hair. Claire Danes as the young heroine (not a drug). Fifteen year-old drama. That awful awful plaid was in style. And overhauls/overalls/whateveryoucallthem.

One of the things that constantly happens in the show is that some teen finds out what people are really thinking/saying about her. Notes passed in class. Fights in the bathroom. Informal polls about who’s the hottest, nerdiest, etc etc etc.

It happens in many forms, and it usually hurts.

So why would someone just voluntarily ask for that information? I don’t know. Maybe it’s some form of self-improvement, dressed up like self-abasement?

Either way, there’s this website that gives you the opportunity to allow others to anonymously tell you what they think of you. The site is called “failin.gs“

Ouch, right?

Right?

Maybe not. Some people are actually using this site. I’m in a rather fragile moment in my personal development, so I won’t be enjoying the benefits of this online service.

At least, not right now.

But, will you? Would you want to know “what others really think about you”?

ht: Lifehacker’s mention of failin.gs

1 reason why I’ve never had a bucket list…. until last week.

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33

The only reason why I’ve never had a bucket list is this: disappointment.

Period.

That’s it. See, the things we put on our ‘bucket list’ are things we really want to do before we “kick the bucket,” right? But what if we can’t do them? What if they are outrageous or superfluous or impossible?

It all ends up in a big disappointment… That’s why I’ve never bothered to have a bucket list. I don’t want to sign up for any more disappointment.

Until recently… I recently came up with one really cool thing I’d wanna do before I “kick the bucket” and it’s disappointment free; if I don’t do it, I’ll still be ok. I’ll survive.

But MAN I’d love to do this if I could. And I, in some half-awake nap stage, decided that I’d start a bucket list just to officially declare to friends and fate that I really wanna do this.

Yes, it’s the only item I have on my bucket list. But that doesn’t matter. What matters is that I now have a bucket list. And that fact alone makes me feel like I’m alive! Like I’m actually finally living–taking life by the horns and claiming my 8 seconds. (Or something leathery and gloved and dusty and daring like that.)

So, friends and fate, listen up!! I want to experience one of those high-speed driving courses. Yes. I want to drive (not like Sydney Bristow, as most of you would expect) but like Jason Bourne.

I wanna go all “Jason Bourne” behind the wheel, y’all…

Ah huh.

So what’s on your bucket list?