The one thing I consistently hear about my worship leading style is that I point the congregation in the direction of the song, then I get of the way and let them focus on God.
When translated into other terms, they’re saying I have a very comfortable and unassuming stage presence. As a worship leader, this would be considered a compliment, since it’s not about drawing attention to myself.
As I learn more about myself, I’m realizing that I don’t like attention. I’m the wallflower, the people-watcher, the quiet one in the group. Not at all the life of the party. I’ve never been an athlete because the little-girl Mandy was petrified of all the eyes in the stands. I’ve never been a performer for the same reasons.
Don’t notice me. Don’t evaluate me. Don’t pay attention to me.
As a musician that doesn’t want to be noticed, the worship leading role is a great fit.
But, now that I’m doing this band thing, I’m thinking through the fact that people are going to literally look at me.
gulp……….
So. I wanted to ask for your help and advice and all that. How do I shift my mentality? Better yet, how do I grow more comfortable with people actually watching me and all that blah blah?
Just be you.
The roles really aren’t that much different. The fact is, as the lead singer/front person you’re actually just filling one of 5 roles in the band. Your “Stage Presence” if you will, is a part of your instrument…part of your part.
Just be you.
I think we need to work on our dance moves as a band!
The kicking and shaking. yes. ahuh…
Shave your legs more often.
I know it always helps me feel more confident.
ha! I’ve gotta see that!
Actually, I don’t wanna see ‘em. Nevermind.
i’m with josh. there’s a lot of confidence to be found in smooth legs.
As a person who is wired to be energized by public scenarios (I’m one of the less than 1% that likes public speaking) I have to say that it has more to do with being excited about the message than being the messenger. If your song speaks from your heart then you want to share it. If your vulnerability comes with risk (of being rejected or otherwise) then it also comes with rewards of communication to an understanding audience.
I am a terrible singer compared to so many others, but I sing anyways because I love to share a good song. Share the song because it’s from your heart. Share your heart because it is being transformed by the Lord, share the Lord because he wants to reach the audience through you.
Great thoughts, Randy! I’ll try to remember that it’s all about sharing.
I agree with Russ. For me, when i perform, it’s still about the song, the message, and the emotion. I also try to remember that God is my most important audience. It’s not about me.
I think worship leasing is way scarier!
You think worship leading is scarier? Really? wow…. That’s so interesting!
I mean leading
worship leasing is a fun thought too, though, caroline. i feel especially close to God when i rent houses for a year at a time.
teeheeeeeee! You’re a funny one, James!
i was in a band once. we played one concert ever. it was in a trailer park when i was a student at auburn university. it was a lot of fun, but i was really self-conscious the entire time. not because i didn’t like being up there in front of people. but because i let a girl/friend choose what i wore that night — and i didn’t like it. i wanted jeans, a t-shirt, and a pair of boots. she wanted khakis and a polo.
so i played a gig in a trailer park dressed like i was going to play golf. what a loser.
and you could always do the hannah montana thing and get a wig to wear on stage…?
lol
ew. yeah. um. Not so much…
Go War Eagles! I mean, Tigers. Sorry.
forgiven.
You are blessed to be happily married with what I’d guess to already be an amazing group of friends. With that, I say just have fun. It literally doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. The people who matter already love us in spite of ourselves.
I think you’re right about that one.
I’ve just inherited 4 brothers. They are a LOT to handle. But they are fun!
Separate the persona on stage from who you want to be off stage. Kind of like you did way back whenever with Amanda and Mandy. (And like I did with Me and Nor.) It is, I think, the most effective way for you to handle this. Once you step onto that stage, all those eyes won’t be on you — but what you’re doing. There will come a time — and it happens quickly — when the people cheering won’t care that you have laundry to do or coffee to make or that your car needs an oil change. They won’t care about all the things that make you YOU — only your family and friends do, like they do now and like they will later (well, hopefully). So, if you want my advice, just try to remember that that lead singer on that stage is an aspect of you — but she is not entirely you. Only you are. Try to create the persona — or the idea, at least — in your head to overcome your anxiety, and remember, when the show is over, you’re always and entirely you.
(Besides, people who don’t know the difference between the show and the reality sometimes get seriously confused and consumed and then they lose everything; and that’s not cool, you know?)
I’m so tracking with you on this… Really really really really really. Have you ever heard of Sasha Fierce? She was the alter ego that Beyonce created for herself a few years ago, to separate her personal from professional–to give her shy/reserved personality a safe way to get out there and be big and bold. Granted, in doing some research, I noticed that she let go of “Sasha Fierce” early last year, saying she didn’t need her anymore. But, still, I totally and completely understand why she would want the alter ego to begin with.
Yes, I have heard about Sasha Fierce being Beyonce. Just like Garth Brooks was Chris Gaines. And Vincent Furnier is still Alice Cooper and, well, Samuel Clemens was Mark Twain.
(Yes, I just mentioned Alice Cooper and Mark Twain in the same sentence; I figure if Vince can talk about Shakespeare, why not?)
You have the advantage, though, of knowing all of these things now. So you can be Mandy Thompson: Lead Singer for The Band and Mandy Thompson: Entirely You.
So, you might not need an alter ego like Beyonce — so long as you remember later what you’re learning now. Very important.
I realized the necessity of being Nor when a friend of mine, who is a cop(Dale B. from Storm Stories), answered a call for a young man who was having chest pains. He asked a few questions and when the young man collapsed, he did exactly what he had been trained to do — but, it was too late. The young man, who was just about 24 years old, passed away. He had, as I recall, a ruptured valve in his heart…
…that young man died.
And, well, Dale B. thought of me.
Because that young man died.
(I’d seriously much rather people stop and see a sunrise and think of Me. I mean, geez!)
So — well all right — I know that’s an extreme example, but take it from Me: keep tracking.
I have to be Nor. Because just being Me — and Me alone — would be absolutely unbearable.
I think the trick is going to be in fighting duplicity… I think I’ve done a decent job of being a blogging version of myself here… So maybe I can find a singing/dancing version of myself to be on stage. As long as I:
1) don’t take myself too seriously
and
2) remember that it’s only a facet of who I am
Then I think I’ll be ok. I mean, it’s not that big of a deal. It’s just an extended moment when I’m inviting everyone to watch/listen to me & the band… And I’m only 1/5 of the band as well. That’s also important to remember.
i guess it comes down to knowing your purpose and hearts intent. also, not shrinkin back from the gifts God has given you. own it. rock it. be you. be authentic you. thats what people will notice. and they’ll be more able to appreciate your gifts.
imo.
Dang I hope you’re right!! “Entertainment” has never felt right on me, but connecting has. Connecting always has.
walk with confidence. don’t worry about what other people are thinking saying doing. Who cares if you are in the middle of the song and some guy is picking his nose. keep on singing
The biggest thing that I know I struggle with is taking things personally. IF someone critiques something that I am doing especially if I don’t know them really well I take it personal. I see it as an attack on who I am. I wonder why they are critiquing me and not the person next to me because they sure need the help more than me. totally kidding
It is a working progress I am trying to take this advice and put it into action actually work on what they were trying to tell me instead of writing them off as someone who knows it all!
Interesting thoughts….. I will take this into consideration as well. There is *always* the flip side of people that won’t like our music. And what are we going to do about that? whew…..
Having watched hours of Inside The Actors Studio, Biography, and other behind the scenes interviews with “stars” and the like, they all have one thing in common – they all seem to be introverts. They describe themselves in the same way you did, and performing allows them to take on a new character, while adding some of themselves to it as well. Through that they make a connection with the audience while remaining true to themselves as well.
And as hokey as it sounds, the judge on American Idol have been emphasizing this with a lot of contestants this year, make eye contact. It’s amazing the connection that is made when you look at someone – whether it’s speaking or singing. Most of all, have fun.
“make the contact” ugggghhhhhhh oh man that scares me. I’m a big weenie!! I LOVE to make contact when leading worship though, because it creates a relationship, a safe place, and people are more likely to participate when they feel that. Is the same true for “performing?”
I think to a certain degree it is. You are making contact with them on a different level as a performer vs a worship leader. The environment will dictate the type of connection too. Obviously a bar setting will be different than a church. It’s a different side of you, a different character that you are presenting when you perform. If you can approach it that way, maybe it will be a little easier.
I think the songs will also make a connection. Think on some of your favorite songs and how they make you feel. What emotions they evoke. How do you connect with the lyrics or the melody. This will happen in performing too. And not just from you, but the rest of the band.
I think you’re right on in saying we need to use the connection we have with the song to be a reaching out to others…. Let the lyrics do the talking, I suppose! I like the sound of that.
(I haven’t read all the responses, sorry if I repeat or something.)
I don’t see the difference. As a worship leader or a lead singer of a rock band you are a Christian. You should be trying to point people to God using the talents He has given you either way.
hmmm…. Our lyrics are a bit tricky though. And I can’t really say “Sing this one with me” so the dynamic is rather different from where I’m standing.
i actually didn’t love the attention on me when I sang, either. but i loved to sing. for me, it was more about getting lost in the song… when i got lost in the music i didn’t care so much if eyes were on me or not. and the more lost you are in the song the more lost the people will be as well… so even though the attention is on you it’s really on what you’re saying through the music.
don’t know if that works or not, but it’s the only way i was able to get up there and do it. i was the same way with acting. i loved performing on stage but hated the thought of people seeing me… until i got so lost in a role that even i didn’t feel like me up there anymore. get lost in a role of who you are on stage as you get lost in the music…
Wow…. yeah I like this. I totally like this. thanks Gitz!!
Hey mandy… long time (sorry I do read though … just haven’t been able to comment.
) )
So I briefly ran through the comments… tons of great advice and encouragement coming at you.
) There are many of us who also preform (for more than church) but one thing does remain the same… you are still preforming, participating, “entertaining” an audience of ONE. When your eyes are set there the connecting with the audience…the participation…. the captivation… well it just happens. You are doing what you love. You are ultimately using the gifts He has designed in you and I think the “fear” keeps us humble. To often when we are focusing on others in the wanting to “please” or stand out because someone else says that’s what being a musician or actress does (“make themselves known”) we can easily fall into the trappings of pride. Having said that though … not embracing the gifting and talents He has specifically designed for you to use in a big way for His glory .. well that can be pride too.
So I all in all … what I am trying to say is that… just as in worship where you are directing others to God, and participating together in praise and coming before Him in worship, do that with the band on stage. The connection will happen. The difference is that your music is telling Your story … and calling others to think… you pose questions, encouragement, and praise… all directing back at Him. You don’t need to say “sing this one with me ” because they will. Someone will connect with your story … your struggles… your journey in salvation. That in it and of itself with make you visible because of who God is and how he connects us like fantastic shattered pieces in a Mosaic art piece.
I have been working in the green room for a few years now and meeting fantastic people (like yourself) who love the Lord with all their heart and long for that for others… and that is why they do what they do. The utilize the way the Lord has S.H.A.P.Ed them to share that love and call with the world. And Most of them are NOT extroverted…. they too were wallflowers… but in this they illuminate. they illuminate because people are seeing the working of God and that makes them visible. I think what your congregation is telling you is not that they don’t see you but that you don’t have pride and arrogance mucking up lines of communication.
)
Anyhooooo… for what it’s worth… I would continue to be who you are and have been created to be. Keep your eyes focused on Him and He WILL sort out all the details. Be obedient to his call and it all works itself out WAY better than you could have ever planned, prepared, or even imagined.
)
He is using you to move the hearts, minds, and lives of others in wonderful ways … and guess what WE SEE YOU ;o) Your authenticity, vulnerability, and just being real penetrates all that you do so don’t worry… He’s got this.
)
Much love from a sister in Christ … also a work in the sanding. ;o)
Heyyyyyy!!! You’re here!
Thank you so much for taking the time to write out these words of care and advice for me. I feel “understood”… And I really do want to make sure what I’m doing isn’t just about music, but about a bridge — about having something that’s bar/club/radio friendly, but that also asks certain questions and makes certain encouragements. And, with that, it acts as a bridge to reach out and pull people in who need hope and assurance and guidance. I hope that our lyrics will do that for people. And, this wallflower is risking much to be a part of things, but it’s important. 
girl you make my heart giggle!
One day we really must meet..he he he he. 
(this side of heaven I mean. 
)
I have been learning a lot through this adventure we call life and mostly in the last 3 years of deep burrowing into the rain forest jungle (the crazy life I have right now). One of the things I have learned most is keeping my eyes fixed on Him will always turn out good regardless of the storms and fears. I have let fear encompass most of my life and really dictate everything I did (or did not) do. The Lord has made it very clear that He has come to set us free and when we get focused on all the stuff that really He’s got totally control of then we tell him “nah… it’s okay I like it here… in chains … just .. ya know.. here.” Wowza … was that a kick in the britches. I am mad crazy in love with the Man who saved my soul and I have seen him do some radical thing and longingly waiting for me to just dive in with Him so he can show me how Radtastic He is at handling the details. There are practical things we need to do and be aware of but the rest of it will take care just fine in His mighty creatively genius hands. Really …. lets look at JC… rather homely guy… who knew he was God but gave up His divinity to feel and suffer through as we humans do. So instead He ALWAYS turned to the Father. Then we look at Ester… Ruth… Paul (once big meany Saul)…. man over and over again… the details took care of themselves because they were God’s details.
He is all about restoration and redemption … drawing EVERYONE to himself… He is the ULTIMATE BRIDGE BUILDER and architect. Just be the you he has intended and walk boldly to him… everything WILL work exactly as He has designed it for… each of you in the group and as a whole. 
I am so excited to see what God is going to do. 
y’all will have to come out to the PNW for a tour…I can get you some production contacts out here. 
Don’t worry, love, He’s got you!
Just … JUMP 
hugs from a wretch like me finding beauty in the shattered pieces
“rain forest jungle” — that’s one way to name it! Doesn’t life feel like that sometimes? sheesh.
A tour in your world would be awesome!! We’re hoping to have demos and press-release stuff in the not-too-distant future. Still building our repertoire and all that! I’m hoping to make some serious noise on the blog soon.
Get ready.