I’m noticing a pattern. These faith songs usually end up a bit dark and lamenting. This one, though dark, pulls up.
In listening to this demo (of my own voice, which is always an odd experience), I’ve gathered a few notes of things I wanna change. But what I really wanna know is what you think:
1) what does this song say?
2) what lines/concepts could be more clear?
So, if you have a second, listen to the demo–and/or read through the lyrics. And please look past the lack of punctuation, because I don’t use it because I don’t sing commas and periods and that colon that should probably follow the third line.
life leaves no survivors
hiding every eye to
the more beyond unopened doors
no suffocating sadness
no graying day of cynics
and they will see if we will fight
bring the bread and bring the wine
bring the sword and bring the sign
for the lost that will be found
we’ll march on the killing ground
we’ll march on the killing ground
for every hallelujah
waiting to be whispered
for every soul escaping more
we will fight until forgiven
with songs of our redemption
with shouts of light into the night
raise your eyes to paradise
there’s no time to compromise
when redemption bells resound
we will take the killing ground
we will take the killing ground
and all we know is all we’ve lived
and this is all we have to give
bring it there to bring them home
this life through death is all we know
breathe new life in every soul
turn the broken into whole
tear it up and tear it down
wiping clean the killing ground
wiping clean the killing ground
wiping clean the killing ground
I wanna hear it!
Duh, player up top.
Being a warrior isn’t about being cast into a mold – female, petite, what have you. It’s about having a heart bent toward seeing something through regardless of cost. You make it very plain to the listener that following Christ and seeing people come to Him isn’t a dog-and-pony show. It can get downright bloody and messy. You convey this beautifully. I don’t see anything major to fix lyrically or otherwise. Awesome job!
Thanks Paul. Coming from you, a wordsmith, that means a lot. I like how you said it’s not a dog-and-pony show. So true…
Such a powerful song!!! I can hear some drums and piano already in the background. This is amazing song. Thank you for allowing me to sit here and absorb and enjoy it!!
for every hallelujah
waiting to be whispered
for every soul escaping more
we will fight until forgiven
with songs of our redemption
with shouts of light into the night
raise your eyes to paradise
there’s no time to compromise
WOA!
Thanks H! Any words or phrases that are confusing?
No, I think it flows. Confusing? no This is not a song where you sit around a firepit and sing Kumbayaa.
This is a song that you can reflect with, mediate on. So the words don’t need to catch you or rhyme, but more in alluring you into a place where you can see the fight of freedom with our Holy one on a personal direct way.
Good. I wrote the whole thing because I liked the title “The Killing Ground.” The rest sort of flowed out of the idea that this world is, for many, a “killing” ground. We only come out alive if we accept forgiveness & redemption. And, if we (the Body) don’t extend this to the world, there will just be more “killings.” Maybe I should put some words like soil & dust to dust in there somewhere… Still chewing on things. But I’m glad it’s clear and meditative–that’s what I was aiming for.
Well lyrically I loved it… It brought to mind a hymn feel. What I have now after hearing it is a pretty cool sound that feels like redletter meets vigilantes of love.
I really like this one a ton. Would love to see it polished up a bit and recorded with really dirty blues sound. Would be killer with slide and dobro too.
It is rather manly, isn’t it Joel? Drew mentioned that as well. The feel is raspy man voice-ish, but he said I didn’t do a bad job singing it myself. ha! And, yes, bring on the dobro!!
agreed!
I like it!
Could you elaborate a little bit on your thinking behind the lyric “we will fight until forgiven” – that one jumps out at me a bit. I’d like to hear your “picture” …if that makes sense.
Well. I wanted something that sounded resolute & action-oriented, for the sake of others. Maybe I should change it to “We will fight until forgiveness brings songs of their redemption” — I don’t think that part came through clearly.
Keep challenging me.
Yeah, I think on first listen it (for me at least) is a bit challenging (because of phrasing: see below) in the sense that if this is a “faith song” we’re already forgiven and no amount of fighting makes that happen (we don’t earn it).
I do understand that it’s paired with “for every soul escaping more” so when reading it like poetry it reads pretty clear. And I get that the fighting isn’t for OUR forgiveness but for others’. So lyrically it’s strong.
But the way you’re singing 3-line phrases it kind of breaks those two lines up. I don’t know if that makes sense! So it’s more of a phrasing issue than a lyrical clarity issue. When reading the lines
Thanks fellas (and H). I’ll step away from the song for a bit and then revisit it with fresh eyes. It’ll help me ensure that the phrasing doesn’t cloud the message, but enhances it. When it comes to theology, I don’t wanna make the issue more confusing than it already is. ha!
Gives a new light to Jeremiah 46 – A chapter that reallly like “Prepare your shields both large & small, and march out for battle! Harness the horses, mount the steeds! Take your positions with helmets on! Polish your spears, put on your armour! (the exclaimations are mine, of course).
I love the line “with shouts of light into the night”
Jeremiah 46. I need to sit down and read that passage now!
It’s pretty profound all through the chapter. From vengeance, the balm that heals, punishment, and assurances to Jacob not to be afraid. It has all our Big Papa can offer! You’re an amazing writer, singer, songwriter and this might be my favorite so far.
ah… ok I read that line differently as well then..
I read it as “We will fight untill (they) are forgiven… using our songs of redemption”
but I think you mean “we will fight until they’re given songs of redemption”
My original thought was as you read it. But, I the second way might make “them” more clearly a part of that lyric. Which do you think works better?
Well I think the second angle dissipates theological issue… because technically the lost are forgiven. They just have not cashed the check (accepted it yet)
I’m just gonna say it: “It’s Triple Coupon Wednesday” at the House of Redemption!
hahaha!!!
trade you feedback for feedback
Well-played, C. Well-played!
This:
bring the bread and bring the wine
bring the sword and bring the sign
is briliiant. Good lyrics throughout. Compelling imagery … and I love “The Killing Ground” title.
I’m with Joel on the dirty blues sound. This song is definitely a keeper.
Thanks for listening Bobby! Anything I can do to improve it?
Great song and lyrics. Nothing to add beyond I loved it.
Thanks Ed.
so i don’t write songs – so I just really liked it {I appreciate the sheer hard work it takes to get it out on paper, let alone sung!}. I am with the whole bluesy thing…I have a killer piano riff in my head already, just listening to it once! I especially love the message of grace in the last stanza – totally powerful.
Play me that riff, Cori. You know you wanna.
If you wanted to go with the meaning:
“we will fight until they’re given songs of redemption”
You could simply change the lyric to:
We will fight til they’re forgiven.
That would preserve the meter and make the line more theologically clear. I don’t necessarily think you need to make this change … it just depends on what meaning you want to stress for that line.
Thank you for the suggestion, Bobby–I like your thoughts! I’m noting the different options here and will pick the song back up in a week or so to see which option comes out as the best choice. Sometimes I just need to get away from it for a while, so I can hear it with “blind” ears.