I knew this day was coming, but I didn’t think it’d happen so soon.
In fact, I’ve done a number of things to prepare for it. And now, even though I’m way ahead of schedule. Even though I have a handful of half-written songs that I could pull from right now. And even though I have some song ideas in the back of my mind that I really believe in.
Even with all that, I’ve hit that place in 2009 where the mere thought of writing (what will likely be a really crappy song) makes me want to cry.
(And, let’s just be honest, everything makes me want to cry right now.)
My heart pounds at the thought of typing this: I don’t want to write.
I don’t want to. I don’t don’t don’t don’t don’t.
I think it’s the swirling spinning stormy combination of all the excitement in my life. blah blah I’m not complaining. I genuinely AM excited about life and what’s before us. I just need a nap. A nap that’ll last about 4 days, because, well, there’s a lot going on. (This is the part where I remind myself that “negative stress affects us in the same way that positive stress does.”)
I’ve got 5 songs staring me in the face. FIVE. And the 95 behind me are doing nothing to contribute to any creative momentum I once had…
The pen feels heavy.
My brain moves like molasses.
These 5 feel as impossible as the 100 I started with.
5 to go.
Piece of cake, right?