Sarah‘s crew moved in two doors down just as we were settling into our seminary apartment. At the time, I referred to her little ones as “talking” and “not talking.” (I’m well-educated in child development, as you can see!) Two years later, I refer to them as “talking” and “more talking,” but Sarah doesn’t know that – so don’t tell her – kthx. There’s something else she doesn’t know. More than once, we’ve watched Sarah or her husband deal with their kids, and my husband has said to me, “Now, that’s good parenting.”

I asked Sarah to write here this month because I’m a firm believer that, if there’s ANYTHING that can change our world, it’s GOOD PARENTING:

A few years back, I had a conversation with my brother about leadership and success. I remember talking about well known leaders in the business and political world and my brother asking how these leaders knew which choices were the right ones. How did they always seemed to know which way would lead to success.

I didn’t have an answer to my brother’s questions then, and I don’t have an answer now. But, several years later as a homeschooling mom, I have contemplated practical ways that I can encourage and develop leadership in my children.

• · “’Live your life in chapters. You don’t have to do everything you want to do in life during this chapter…’”* This is a quote that I read when I first started homeschooling and I have tried to keep it fresh in my mind. Leadership is not effective when the leader is exhausted from trying to do everything at once. Saying no to an opportunity right now doesn’t mean that I won’t be able to say yes later in life. Pursuing endless opportunities only leads to burnout so leadership is developed through narrowing down our areas of influence until our actions can effectively serve others.

• · Look around. If you want to do something now but have to say no during this chapter of your life, look for another way that God may be filling that desire. For example, I would love to go on the road this fall experiencing the inner workings of a political campaign. That would be awesome. But my life with my husband and children supersedes that desire right now. However, as a homeschooling mom, I can throw myself into teaching my children about the political process, and we can look for kid-friendly opportunities to volunteer locally during the election process. Or, if nothing else, I can take my kids with me when I vote.

• · Reach out first. We are currently living on a culturally diverse campus and I love this opportunity for my children. But, I am realizing that as adults, breaking the cultural barrier can be intimidating. I know I’ve lost wonderful opportunities to learn and grow from international students because I have been too afraid to reach out to them and they have been too afraid to reach out to me. I don’t want my kids to be intimidated by cultural barriers. I want them to lead by reaching out first.

Sometimes training children up is a balancing game – hoping that the good choices we make as parents outweigh the bad choices. I have no guarantee that my children will be leaders in the future, or even that they will make the best choices, but I hope that I am giving them the ability to live with the choices that they make.

*Quoted by Jessie Wise in The Well-Trained Mind by Susan Wise Bauer, pg 619.

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I’m not a parent, so you could easily discount my words. I’m the product of intentional parents, and I want to encourage those of you who are weary – who don’t know if you’re making the right decision – who try to get through the day without doing any more damage:

You CAN and WILL make a difference in your kids’ lives if you don’t give up.

Keep at it. Their futures are worth it.

One day the tantrums and protests will silence, and they will look at you with adult eyes and you’ll see nothing but gratitude.