Tag Archives: christianity

The first step in fighting your own demons.

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We all have them… Those “haunts” that keep us up at night or make our heart pound or make us cringe in guilt after a wrong decision.

And man they get on my nerves.

I want to start getting on their nerves. Yeah. Yeah. I want to fight them in my own life… But, I can’t if I don’t know what they are. Right?

I think that’s the first step in fighting our demons: Find out what they are. Identify them. What’s that proverb (not Biblical, just proverbial)? Know thy enemy; thy enemy is self.

Or something like that. Maybe Sun Tzu and Pogo fell in love and got married and had some sort of quote-baby in my brain. But, you get what I’m saying…

If we don’t know our enemy (which may be within) then we won’t be able to smack it in the face with a wet glove and spit and walk away.

So, I’m out to discover mine. Call them out from hiding. It’s time for them to show their faces (I’m speaking rather figuratively here, y’all. Nobody panic.) I’m on the hunt for those things that just fray me. That wear me down. That tempt me and try me and test me and make me feel weak and weary.

Things like:

  • Conflict: I absolutely fear it. I’m a bit too non-confrontational.
  • Doubt: I sometimes wonder if maybe there’s a slight chance that somewhere out there “on the other side” of this world there really just might be nothing…? (cringe for honesty.)
  • Anger: I think I’m entitled. Namely, to be able to start a family with ease. By not getting my way, I’ve become a sort of a spiritual brat. Not so good.

That’s a start. And there are more. And some of them may be easier to beat than others. And, you know, some of them just might be around for life. But if I know these “demons” and can see them for what they are, I’ve already begun to strip their power.

So, take that, demons. I acknowledge that you annoy me. And I’m not interested in cooperating.

What are some of your demons? Can you identify one or two? Even in that, you’re stripping their power!

I totally changed my mind on the interaction in this post. You know what I really want to see happen in the comments? Y’all share how you’ve fought particular demons in your own life. There are others who face the same, and could really benefit from your stories.

Feel free to be anonymous, just be sure to change your email: anon@anonymous.com works well.

Thanks y’all!

My top 5 Madeleine L’Engle quotes (so far)

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About a week ago I started reading “Walking on Water: Reflections on Faith and Art” by Madeleine L’Engle. I’m telling you. It’s incredible.

Regarding “being:” intentional stillness, reflection, solitude, refreshment

“I’ve long since stopped feeling guilty about taking being time; it’s something we all need for our spiritual health, and often we don’t take enough of it.”

“When I am consciously running there is no time for being. When there is no time for being there is no time for listening.”

Regarding “Christian Art:”

“‘Christian Art’ is that to paint a picture or write a story or to compose a song is an incarnational activity. The artist is a servant who is willing to be a birth-giver.”

“If the work comes to the artist and says, ‘Here I am, serve me,’ then the job of the artist, great or small, is to serve. The amount of the artist’s talent is not what it is about.”

For artists who may not profess faith in Christ: “We may not like that, but we call the work of such artists un-Christian or non-Christian at our own peril. Christ has always worked in ways which have seemed peculiar to many men, even his closest followers. Frequently the disciples failed to understand him. So we need not feel that we have to understand how he works through artists who do not consciously recognize him. Neither should our lack of understanding cause us to assume that he cannot be present in their work.”

Soooo…. What do you think about that last quote? Can the work of unbelieving artists hold an element of divine presence, inspiration, and glorification? Or does their lack of faith negate any Creatorship within their work…?

Becoming Visible.

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The one thing I consistently hear about my worship leading style is that I point the congregation in the direction of the song, then I get of the way and let them focus on God.

When translated into other terms, they’re saying I have a very comfortable and unassuming stage presence. As a worship leader, this would be considered a compliment, since it’s not about drawing attention to myself.

As I learn more about myself, I’m realizing that I don’t like attention. I’m the wallflower, the people-watcher, the quiet one in the group. Not at all the life of the party. I’ve never been an athlete because the little-girl Mandy was petrified of all the eyes in the stands. I’ve never been a performer for the same reasons.

Don’t notice me. Don’t evaluate me. Don’t pay attention to me.

As a musician that doesn’t want to be noticed, the worship leading role is a great fit.

But, now that I’m doing this band thing, I’m thinking through the fact that people are going to literally look at me.

gulp……….

So. I wanted to ask for your help and advice and all that. How do I shift my mentality? Better yet, how do I grow more comfortable with people actually watching me and all that blah blah?

I didn’t ask to be healed.

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We’ve gotten a few reports of healing in our church on Sunday. I don’t know how else to say it than like that. We had an extended time of prayer during our service. And something happened.

Let me provide the context for that starting sentence: We are a contemporary UMC congregation that is growing rather quickly. We’re a t-shirt & jeans kind of church, with a praise band and practical teaching. Not so much “charismatic” but we do believe that God can do (and is doing) incredible things today. And we offer opportunities for our congregation to intersect with this God in a real way. As the staff person to oversee planning of the services, I knew a moment was coming Sunday. We’d allotted a good 15 minutes for people to respond to the sermon by praying–in whatever fashion they desired. And we invited those who wanted prayer for whatever reason, including healing, to come forward.

And when the moment came I thought: I’m a candidate for healing. My body is broken. Infertile. Mysteriously lacking. But I’ve already asked for this. Often. And Drew still prays for this. A lot of people do. And it hasn’t happened. And there’s been ample opportunity for something to happen. And I’m ok with the fact that it hasn’t happened. I’m ok. I’m in the “acceptance” phase of grief, I guess.

I left that thought in the seat and, instead, took my place behind my guitar… In coming to the place of acceptance, I think I’ve stopped wanting/wondering for things to be different. I don’t know if that’s right or wrong, but it’s where I am.

Then I heard about some of the healings that took place on Sunday…

Why not me? Ok. Fine. “Ye have not because ye ask not.” whatever. I asked I asked I asked I asked.

My only response is to continue to accept.

Aaaaaaand…. The winner is:

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DAVID JOSHUA!!

Congrats, David! Thanks for coming by here and for your interest in the All About Worship retreat. I hope it is a refreshing and inspiring time for you personally, and for your ministry.

I’ll get your info to the AAW team and we’ll make this happen.

Thanks to everybody else who participated! Y’all have a great weekend. Stay warm. :)