Tag Archives: confession

What if I told you I got help…

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I’ve never seen anything like this before.

An overwhelming number of us have things locked deep down inside us that are ruling us. That are causing harm to us and to others. And we are paralyzed by shame and fear and guilt. We are silenced. Muted. For fear of rejection. For fear of losing our jobs. Our families. Our lives.

If anything has been made clear to me, it’s that we are bound by the chains of fear. We are enslaved to it. We are silenced by it.

  • What if I told you I battle depression.
  • What if I told you that I couldn’t get myself out of this darkness.
  • What if I told you I got help.
  • What if I told you my body needed supplements for my brain to work like it should.
  • What if I told you that I’ve been seeing a therapist for months.
  • What if I told you I just started group therapy. Yeah. Like the Bob Newhart/28 Days kind of group therapy.
  • What if I told you I’ve been afraid to publicly admit this because I’m having a hard time facing these facts myself.
  • What if I told you I’m winning the battle, with the help of my doctor and therapist.
  • But, what if I told you that I’m coming out with it right now, in the hopes that you, too, will talk to someone.

Anonymous internet confessions only go so far. They give us a tiny taste of the freedom that we can know. But, there’s a hitch: nobody knows who you are, so technically you’re still hiding, right?

There’s one thing I’ve wanted to say over and over again: Say this out loud. Confess it to a safe person. To a person who can give you, or help you find, the help you need. It doesn’t have to stay this way. It doesn’t have to end this way. Talk to someone.

James words have echoed through my mind over the past two days: Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.

Please get that healing we so desperately need. For the sake of your soul. And for the sake of your loved ones.

A Day For Anonymous Commenting

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We’ve gotten to know each other around here. But we still don’t know everything. And there’s no way we know each other’s secrets.

But, we find ways of telling them on the internet, don’t we? I have them, too. And I don’t share all of them in these posts. But sometimes I’ll type out something in a comment on some blog–and leave it in a comment in some other corner of the blogosphere, knowing that most eyes will never see it. Why do I do that? Because it feels good to get it out there anyway. It feels good to release it–release myself from its hold. It becomes powerless. Benign. And I am free from it.

I read this powerful list of confessions. Here’s an excerpt:

What if I told you…
i’m glad he died.
What if I told you…
i was scared for my life, many times.
What if I told you…
how much showing weakness scares the hell out of me.

What if today was a day where you could get it out? Type it out. Let it go. And walk away from it. Leave it anonymously – with a fake email address that won’t link back to your avatar, like nonsense@anons.com. But leave it. And walk away. We don’t have to know who you are.

Finish this sentence: What if I told you ____________

**UPDATE**
Thank you for reading this–for being here–for praying for those who have commented–and for commenting. I can’t believe the response that has come from this so far… It’s my bedtime, but I will check  back first thing in the morning. Keep the confessions rolling. I pray this is a moment of release for those who need it.

** UPDATE TWO**
Bedtime again, but this conversation is still alive, so I’m going to let it run its course for another night. There are so many confessions that have been poured out in this. And so many people have been praying. I’ve lost count. I think dozens of people are praying. So say what you need to say, and if you need to get some life-level help, please get in touch with me. mandy[at]mandythompson.com… There are people out there who want to help.

Confession is good for the soul.

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I’m reading this book that explains the only way to fully engage in community and connectedness, is to let yourself (with your pain and your heart and your quirks and your worries and your issues) be known. That sounds like fun, right!?

The book is called “Healing is a Choice” – but don’t let yourself get distracted by that title – or by worrying about me – or by wondering why in the world I’m reading that book. I simply mention it to give proper credit to Stephen Arterburn, the writer.

I’ve just raised expectations to the level of: “Wow. Mandy’s about to spill something about some sin in her life.”

Sorry. That isn’t the case. But, this is about confessions of a sort…

…the “things you might not know about me” sort:

  • I really like red tattoos, even though I don’t have one.
  • I recently got another piercing. Hi Dad.
  • I miss our 500 sq ft seminary apartment. (read: I miss how easy it was to clean.)
  • I hid the empty wine bottles I was saving for a friend, when Drew called to say our pastor was giving him a ride home after a meeting. (read: I have an artsy fartsy friend who melts them down in a kiln, although I’m still not sure why.) (read: I didn’t drink all the wine by myself.)

In short, I’m a tattoo-wanting, body-piercing, bad-housekeeping, wine-sipping minister’s wife.

Well, dang. I guess this is some sort of legitimate confession.

Got anything you need to confess today?

69. It’s the Right Time

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I wrote this a few weeks ago, with a specific purpose in mind. And did a quick demo recording. Close enough to give you an idea of the song.

What do you think?

We singe our souls by the sin of greed
& turn our eyes from others’ needs
while living lives of peace and ease
& it’s the right time

We’ve let our mouths fill up with words
that make us sound just like the world
no sanctity found on our tongues
& it’s the right time

To wash our hands
confess our sin
return again
It’s the right time
It’s the right time……

We make them preach what we want to hear
rewriting truth that is so clear
dismiss the Words that we should fear
& it’s the right time