Tag Archives: conversation

Who gets in a fight over having family devotion time???

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28

We do.

The conversation was so tense that we might as well have been yelling. Our words were slow and careful and calm—the kind of eery calm that holds back the rising tide.

The conversation rolled in waves over a span of a weekend. Oh, it was supposed to be a wonderful weekend, but he said he wanted us to start having family devotion time together and, well, I didn’t take so kindly to that idea.

Before bed that Saturday, I spent a good 20 minutes holed up in the bathroom trying to figure out what I was going to do about this. And he tried desperately to keep me from shutting him out. That’s our dance. I’m the quiet one. He’s the pursuer. And he bravely pursues.

This kind of disagreement meant going to bed angry, which also meant waking up to the mess on Sunday morning. And doing church together as the preacher and the worship leader.

Oh, mercy.

Oh, Sunday.

I try hard not to talk to him all the way to church that morning, even though he kept pursuing with his harmless questions and me with my short emotionless answers. And I run to practice with the band. And I’m not even thinking about the lyrics, I’m thinking about how I’m going to get through the Family Devotion Time Fiasco of 2012. What do I say to him? Do I say anything? Do I tell him how I feel about this? Or do I just comply?

I mean, seriously, just days before I told a young woman that the backbone of marriage is communication and if that breaks down there’s little left between the two of them.

He walks into the sanctuary—my handsome preacher husband who I know would die for me and who knows I want to kill him and who probably isn’t sure why because I’m not sure why, but here we are and I don’t even want to make eye contact with him. How do we get to these places?!

Yes, the grown-up thing is to talk about it. I can at least tell him how I feel. That is a very strong gesture towards maintaining open communication and open relationship. He’s a big boy, he can handle it.

So, between practice and service, I walk up and hug him and then I keep moving with very little eye contact. But that hug said “Ok, let’s do this church thing. And then let’s keep walking.”

After church we went out for lunch. Tense “conversations” are so much better in public when we know others can hear us. And I told him that I didn’t want to change his mind about any of this and that I really do appreciate his desire for us to share more of our spiritual journeys with one another.

But, I needed him to know how I felt about all this.

Inhale.

I told him how I felt. And I admitted that I was very messed up and that this family devotion time topic seems to bump up against an overwhelming number of sensitive areas in my life and I’m having a hard time with it.

And he listened.

And he knew that my only goal was to maintain open communication. Not change him. Not change our plan. Just give him an understanding of my side of this conversation.

And you know what?

That made all the difference in the world. And there is peace in Casa Thompson now. And, yes, we are having FDT and it is weird and slightly unconventional but it’s a middle ground and it fits us. And we’re both happy.

And I kinda like him again.

I guess I should tell him that, too, huh?

Belonging: So, the “cheers” bar in Boston is really big. A lot bigger than the one on TV.

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18

I’m in a group of women who are on this semi-secret mission to support a mutual friend as she completes a major life task. She invited us to walk beside her, and we’ve become a sort of sorority with secret bracelets and books. (Don’t ask questions. That’s all you’re gonna get outta me. I’ve been keeping this secret for 6 months.)

I’ve also been jamming with a bunch of my favorite girlfriends who have decided to be a bit of a girl-band. It’s like… it’s like pure security. It’s like I can walk into the room and know that I have a place at the “table.” It’s the complete opposite of my High School lunch periods, but that had more to do with me and my issues than any of them. (And I mean that, y’all. I know some of you read this.)

I felt that very same belonging feeling with my group of friends at seminary. We all rallied around one another for foot soakings and bible studies and birthday parties. I miss them…

I want to be a person who can share that sense of belonging with others. To create a “community” around my life. Especially since not everyone has that feeling. But, I know that the more people I invite in, the bigger the group gets. And, soon little groups split off from one big Cheers bar where everyone hangs out, to a two story bar/restaurant with lots of rooms and tables and mini-conversations happening all at once. And not everybody knows everybody’s name. Gah. That’s when my introversion kicks into high gear and I just wanna hole up in a corner of the room with two or three other people and have our own little thing going.

But, instead, I’m going to float between tables–spend deliberate time with deliberate groups in deliberate conversations.

*Here’s to making time. Cheers.*

How do you find that sense of belonging in life?

Would You Rather…?

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26

Drew and I had a fun lazy summer afternoon convo a few weeks ago. Here’s a snippet:

  1. Would you rather have no ears OR no thumbs?
  2. Would you rather live off of Chicken Noodle Soup and water but be able to read for the rest of your life, OR spend the rest of your life eating/drinking whatever you want but remain illiterate forever?
  3. Would you rather have endless money but no traveling out of state, OR unlimited traveling while living off $40,000 a year?
  4. Would you rather have 4 inch long fingernails or toenails?

So… Go on. Feel free to answer the questions. :)

WHAT are you talking about?!

Posted on
17

Friday February 5, 4:40pm

I’m sitting in my new hang out spot – Wake Up – with Alece (more on that later) beside me click click clicking away at her keyboard with earphones in.

I don’t have earphones – and I don’t have noisy keys (thanks to Steve Jobs) and I can’t help but hear what’s going on around me.

This blonde just walked in on the phone saying loudly: “What are you talking about??! Say what you’re trying to say to me!”

My mind is spinning with scenarios of what the person on the other end of the phone might be saying to her. I have my theories. I wanna ask Alece what she thinks is going on with this lady’s conversation. But those dang earphones… Oh well. Maybe I’ll just write a blog post about it. Maybe y’all will have ideas.

Do you? What do you think this convo could be about?

The Privilege of Knowing

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2

I sometimes take my friends for granted. I don’t mean that I take them for granted in the sense that they’ll be there for me… but in the sense that they’ll want me to be there for them.

I don’t think of my friends based on who will come over and knock on my door. I think an even deeper indicator of friendship is that, if I knock, they’ll open the door and let me in. They welcome me into their world.

There are friends who want to know all about me.

Then there are friends who want me to know all about them… In a deep sense. In a real sense. The types who brave the waters of disclosure for the sake of being known. For the sake of sharing. For the sake of connectedness. For the sake of friendship. They are transparent and honest and authentic and vulnerable with me, and that’s what I value most in a friendship.

My friends aren’t just people that I can tell my heart’s secrets to – but they are people who also trust me with their secrets.

Knowing these secrets is a privilege that I don’t take lightly.

It’s a privilege that I treasure.

What do you value most in friendship?