Tag Archives: facebook

My fast and furious five fall facts.

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1) The rain and the pumpkins and the cooler air make me–fine, I’ll admit it–miss New England. The colours are going to pop in about three more weeks, you know.

2) I have this strange urge to add the British “u” in words. Like: “I love fall colours.” Also, the “u” can be utilized in honour and flavour and neighbour. But I prefer its charming use in colour. Why?

3) The new Facebook is coming this week. Are you ready?

4) Instagram makes me see square frames around stuff. All the time. Speaking of frames, Pam said you can always unframe it. The Office is back.

5) Mmm… Fall means favorite shows: The Office. House. (And fine I’ll be patient about 30 Rock. sheesh.) Fall also means one more home evaluation meeting before we hopefully are approved as adoptive parents. But that doesn’t mean we’ll become parents soon. Word on the street is that this is a longer process than anticipated. yep………

6) Speaking of watching way too much TV: what show are you most excited about this Fall?

What if there were no numbers?

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I just had a long convo with a friend about social media and its positive and negative consequences.

And she had lots of questions about the relational and social and developmental ramifications of this mode of hyper-controlled semi-anonymous interaction. And the differences between virtual and real relationships. And how to navigate those waters. And I didn’t have all the answers.

And, yes I told her about Gitz’ life and legacy, and the countless people that I’ve virtual-met and real-life-met because of this medium. But, can I be honest? I also used phrases like “not real” and “point systems” and “game” and “winning.”

And I felt like I betrayed all of you in saying those things. Because you are real people and you’re more than a number on my stats page and comment link and twitter profile and facebook page and…….

I think the numbers can ruin it for us. They are there, in all social mediums, and they are impossible to ignore. They are enticing when they climb, and they are disheartening when they drop. And they make us focus on them instead of on the actually people who are on the other side of the screen. They betray us. The numbers simultaneously suck us into a point-system and dehumanize the experience. Everything that can be quantified will be quantified: likes, RTs, comments, clicks, mentions, etc.

But, you know, I couldn’t help but wonder what would happen if there were no numbers? Seriously. Think about it. What would happen to Blogging and Facebook and Twitter and Instagram and LinkedIn and Youtube and…….?

Would as many people be involved? Would they “play” the social media game? Would I? Would you?

My brain hurts.

It also likes the idea of no numbers.

Confession: Facebook messages make me nervous

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12

A while ago I posted the above “status update” on facebook. Then I had to sit back and figure out why. (Remember my post about how I need to understand things?)

Anyway – I think I came up with a pretty convincing theory as to why. At least, I’ve convinced myself:

One of my many relational flaws is that I’m not so great at keeping up with old friends from other life stages. I really don’t like this about myself. Especially since I so deeply value my friendships. So y’all wonder why I don’t keep contact with my friends if I value them so much? Yeah – I’m wondering the same thing. Add that to the list of things I need to figure out.

Back to the old friends. They’re reconnecting with me on Facebook. And new friends, too. (hey everybody!) And every once in a while I’ll get a new message in my Facebook inbox. And a lot of those messages are from old friends. The old friends I really loved but somehow lost track of.

And when I see a message from one of them, I’m reminded of the fact that I don’t do well in keeping up with friends.

Now I know you’re thinking “But everybody does that. We can’t expect everyone to stay in contact with us all the time.”

Right.

But I think the message might say: “Where have you been all these years? And why haven’t you kept in touch?” or a nicer version of that. Hence the “I did something wrong” reaction.

And here’s the heart of the matter: I hope I’ve never caused someone to feel forgotten. There’s nothing worse than that feeling. I know because I’ve felt it. If you’re reading this, and I’ve caused that feeling, I’m so incredibly sorry. And, I haven’t forgotten you. Not at all. The memories are still there – still treasured.

So, what do y’all do? How do you keep up with old friends from different times and places? And what can/should I do differently?

The Inundation of Information

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Where is the Life we have lost in living?
Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge?
Where is the knowledge we have lost in information?

T.S. Eliot

How much time have I spent thinking of the inundation of information that is at my fingertips every day? That has been at my fingertips for years, starting with Myspace and now with Twittering? Do you remember when Facebook became the new Myspace, then Blogs gained over Facebook, then Twittering became the new Blogging, and now everybody’s Tweeting? What’s next?

What do I do with the eleventy-two ways I have to connect with 750 of my “best friends” these days? Do I really know 750 people?! And if I vaguely remember them from ten years ago, am I supposed to write on their wall? Or is accepting their friend request enough of a hello? How do I sift through all of the chatter and noise? How do I find the depth? The life? The human behind the 140 characters? How do I cull out what’s important and leave the rest? How do I flippin’ know when to stop reading?

And, seriously, how do I know when I need to stop chattering?

And what is all this information going to do to our brains, our relationships, and our culture…?

Do you have any answers?