1) they won’t let you leave: we only meant to stop by for a visit that Sunday evening – to see how they were doing as they adjusted to a new culture. and they insisted that we step inside their place for a bit. they hadn’t lived here long, only about a week. the walls were still bare. the cardboard casualties of a transatlantic move were piled to the side. two fussy and jet-lagged kids were late for bed. and their cozy kitchen table displayed the remains of a disastrous dinner. nevertheless, their welcome was warm – so warm that we couldn’t resist their invitation to stay for tea (yes – real British tea) and enjoyed such easy conversation that three hours passed without our noticing.

2) they feed you when you can’t feed yourself: we’d had a rough week – dealing with stuff that comes up in life sometimes… the kind of stuff that makes it hard to even think about peripheries such as, well, food. i’d updated my bible study friends about what we were going through, and the next morning i had an email from her asking when she could drop dinner off at our place. not if, but when. a few hours later she was there – arms full of enough homemade soup and bread and desserts to get us through two days. two days of not thinking about food. sweet relief.

3) they don’t think twice about inviting themselves over: she was the first one i told when we decided we’d be moving off campus. this was the hard conversation – because she lived two doors down from us and we’d been friends since the first semester. after listening to me ramble out a report about the house, rooms, bathrooms, alarm system, laundry room (praise Him!), kitchen, dishwasher (can i get an amen?!), stove, and distance from campus, she looked at me with a smile and said: “well, i’ll just have to pack up the kids and the laundry and come over for an afternoon!”

4) they make great sacrifices: she never says no to driving us to the airport – 45 minutes one way. and, most of the drive is a fight with traffic that makes southerners pull their hair out. i’ve forgotten how many times she’s made the trip. at least a half-dozen. she’d even help me make the drive when i was too chicken to go on my own. and that – that right there – when she doesn’t laugh at me and say i’m crazy, but she shrugs her shoulders and says “why not!?”

5) they want to talk to you: she’s a new friend who lives miles away. we don’t talk very often, but when we do it’s like sugar for my soul. to keep from losing touch, we make phone dates. we were rambling on about her schedule and my worries, when her voice dropped to a serious tone: “oh – here’s something i wanted to talk to you about…” i knew her well enough to know this “something” was important. she doesn’t have many to talk to about the heart stuff of her life, so she usually just doesn’t talk it out… but, for that night, she chose me. and she talked.

6) ___________________: fill-in-the-blank – what would you add to this list?