Tag Archives: social media

What if there were no numbers?

Posted on
8

I just had a long convo with a friend about social media and its positive and negative consequences.

And she had lots of questions about the relational and social and developmental ramifications of this mode of hyper-controlled semi-anonymous interaction. And the differences between virtual and real relationships. And how to navigate those waters. And I didn’t have all the answers.

And, yes I told her about Gitz’ life and legacy, and the countless people that I’ve virtual-met and real-life-met because of this medium. But, can I be honest? I also used phrases like “not real” and “point systems” and “game” and “winning.”

And I felt like I betrayed all of you in saying those things. Because you are real people and you’re more than a number on my stats page and comment link and twitter profile and facebook page and…….

I think the numbers can ruin it for us. They are there, in all social mediums, and they are impossible to ignore. They are enticing when they climb, and they are disheartening when they drop. And they make us focus on them instead of on the actually people who are on the other side of the screen. They betray us. The numbers simultaneously suck us into a point-system and dehumanize the experience. Everything that can be quantified will be quantified: likes, RTs, comments, clicks, mentions, etc.

But, you know, I couldn’t help but wonder what would happen if there were no numbers? Seriously. Think about it. What would happen to Blogging and Facebook and Twitter and Instagram and LinkedIn and Youtube and…….?

Would as many people be involved? Would they “play” the social media game? Would I? Would you?

My brain hurts.

It also likes the idea of no numbers.

Sometimes we need more than emoticons…

Posted on
15

Hi.

My name is Mandy.

And I spend a lot of time in social media. (There’s a confession in and of itself.)

And sometimes words on a screen can be misunderstood.

By you.

And by me.

I know that I’m not the only one who sometimes struggles to say things clearly. To find words that carry the tone and emotions of what I’m saying. But sometimes there aren’t enough words, and not enough :) s and ;) s and :D s to make things come across the way we intend.

Earlier this month, a good friend of mine left a really thoughtful comment on my blog, and I think I may have misread his intentions. I may have missed the tone; and, as you would expect, I responded based on that misunderstanding. (No, I’m not gonna tell you who or when. You’ll just have to wonder.)

It happens sometimes, as hard as we try to be clear and friendly and warm and all that. It still happens. There aren’t enough emoticons to overcome limitations of typing expression-less words in a text-box.

I’d love to learn from your experiences… So, how do you compensate? How do you make up for those limitations?

Mandy Mentions: GROUP HUG!!!!

Posted on
6

One of you asked if I’d do posts from time to time recommending things that I’ve found useful in one way or another. I think he had computer/blogging type stuff in mind, but I’m going to widen the possibilities to things in life that are just plain useful. And today I’m going to talk about why hugging is useful, or why social media is useful… Depends on how you look at it. Welcome to “Mandy Mentions”…

Haven’t you wondered why it’s so stinking easy to get sucked into social media?

Well, my bloggy-bffs, here’s why:

Sometimes referred to as the “cuddle” chemical, oxytocin — a hormone produced in the brain — stimulates feelings of trust and security, reduces anxiety levels and may even produce positive sexual side effects. It sounds like a miracle drug, so how does one get their hands on it? Perhaps, simply by tweeting. ~ from Mashable

So, some smart people did a test on this guy’s brain and discovered that his oxytocin shot up from tweeting.

This explains SO much about a lot of social media junkies I know… Oh my gosh it explains a lot.

You can read Mashable’s writeup here.

OR FastCompany’s full article reporting this fascinating (albeit limited) research HERE.

So, what do you think? Does your oxytocin level rise when you get your social media fix? Does facebook and twitter and blogging give you a sense of trust and security, bring down your stress level, and that other thing they mentioned up there ( :shock: )?

OH, and for those of you who know someone who can’t put the iPhone down – maybe they just need a hug.

Reason #1 why I don’t want an iPhone.

Posted on
49

I saw this commercial recently and thought, “Thanks, Verizon. You confirmed my hesitations to get a smartphone.”

I know, I know. I’m a techie. I’m all into the internet and gadgets and such. If I ever break down and get an iPhone or a Droid my life will quickly become out of control. I have a hard enough time putting my mac down… Imagine if I could take those capabilities with me wherever I went. I know better than to give myself that ease of access.

Because, I’m also into solitude. I’m also into unplugging at the beach. I’m also into weekend getaways where I can actually get away.

And I’m also into quality time – really engaging in face-to-face relationships with people who are right here right now. I know better than to send a quick text to one of my favorite funny friends before I go into a lunch mentor meeting. The phone would beep “text” and I would die from trying NOT to pick up the phone and read what they sent.

In some ways, I think we have forsaken the “now” for the sake of the “next” – next phone call – next email – next funny thing on twitter – next person who wants our attention through our gadget. What about the now? What about the person sitting across the table from us?

Let’s admit it: Sometimes we can be downright rude to the person we’ve invited to spend some time with us.

And, yeah, let’s admit this as well: It is SO HARD to step away from the gadgets. SO HARD.

How good are you at stepping away and unplugging? At giving attention to relationships? Why do you think this struggle is so hard for people like us?