Tag Archives: spirituality

Are you still Breathing? (Song: Fallen Garden)

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(Link, if player doesn’t appear.)

Some days I have to remind myself that this molded dust and clay holds life. And not the “oh wait, is my heart still beating?” kind of life. But Life. Capital L. Life.

Some days it just gets boring. Or frustrating. Or impossible (Don’t go all Mt. 19:26 on me. You know what I mean. It just feels impossible.)

And in those days I try to remind myself that this is just the way Life is lived right now. All dusty and messy and fallen. And the only true test of knowing whether or not I’m Living is if I’m Breathing.

Not breathing in the breath of lungs. But the Breath of Life. That is what we were given in The Beginning. And that is what will sustain us until The End.

If you are looking for signs of Life among your days, look for Breath. Look for the sacred inhale and exhale. And if you can’t find it–if you can’t locate that sacred Breath, then turn your face to Heaven and just Breathe. Let that inhalation be a prayer–a prayer that you will see Life…

Fallen Garden – Mandy Thompson, 2011, ASCAP
We all walk this fallen garden:
shrouded vines and signs of
life in lingered shadowed death.
Betrayed and dismayed by our own knowing,
we only wanted something–
hungering for the betterment.
And we search for all the secret reasons,
sifting through each season.
Ever changing, never rests.
In our searching, we will walk this garden,
struggling for perfection.
Every breath a breaking in.
Our walk will wind and wander farther.
Though lush it still is lacking,
reaching for the consummate.
Scraped by sword and scene of angels.
Never ceasing dreaming:
what was then and what is best.
But we hope for all the secret reasons,
sifting through each season.
Ever changing, never rests.
With each morning we will walk this garden,
striving for perfection.
Every breath a giving in.
And we know that at the end of seasons
we will find the reason.
All is well and all at rest.
Until then, we will walk this garden
held by His perfection.
Every breath a breathing in.

What if I told you I got help…

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I’ve never seen anything like this before.

An overwhelming number of us have things locked deep down inside us that are ruling us. That are causing harm to us and to others. And we are paralyzed by shame and fear and guilt. We are silenced. Muted. For fear of rejection. For fear of losing our jobs. Our families. Our lives.

If anything has been made clear to me, it’s that we are bound by the chains of fear. We are enslaved to it. We are silenced by it.

  • What if I told you I battle depression.
  • What if I told you that I couldn’t get myself out of this darkness.
  • What if I told you I got help.
  • What if I told you my body needed supplements for my brain to work like it should.
  • What if I told you that I’ve been seeing a therapist for months.
  • What if I told you I just started group therapy. Yeah. Like the Bob Newhart/28 Days kind of group therapy.
  • What if I told you I’ve been afraid to publicly admit this because I’m having a hard time facing these facts myself.
  • What if I told you I’m winning the battle, with the help of my doctor and therapist.
  • But, what if I told you that I’m coming out with it right now, in the hopes that you, too, will talk to someone.

Anonymous internet confessions only go so far. They give us a tiny taste of the freedom that we can know. But, there’s a hitch: nobody knows who you are, so technically you’re still hiding, right?

There’s one thing I’ve wanted to say over and over again: Say this out loud. Confess it to a safe person. To a person who can give you, or help you find, the help you need. It doesn’t have to stay this way. It doesn’t have to end this way. Talk to someone.

James words have echoed through my mind over the past two days: Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.

Please get that healing we so desperately need. For the sake of your soul. And for the sake of your loved ones.

Does Anyone Else Have a Spiritual Rule?

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Back on staff at a church. And I’m really being challenged.

The main challenge? My personal spiritual development.

Our staff homework this week was to develop a Spiritual Rule, or a Rule of Life, which outlines how we want to grow and mature in our faith and in our daily lives. Most of us weren’t really clear on the assignment, so we held a secret meeting where Drew (yes, my star-student husband) helped clarify things a bit.

(A helpful doc that explains everything can be downloaded HERE.)

Our pastor encouraged us to develop a Rule that fit our personality and “make it our own.” It just had to be focused, practical, encouraging, and holistic.

Anyway, this was quite a challenging process, but I had a whole lotta fun “making it my own.” So here’s my first shot. It has a few challenging elements, as well as activities that I’m currently doing. And, of course, I already want to make some changes. I mean, hello? Is exercise a spiritual discipline, because it sure as heck feels like it sometimes!

[click to enlarge]